• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] How can I tell if an ENFP is into me?

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.

Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course. ;)

I think that is the best answer out there. If they react to you differently than everyone else, it usually means that you make them self conscience or your creeping the shit out of them.
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
She is being avoidant.

You would think that, but she was with friends at the time when she was hiding. Later on today she waited to speak to me on my own for a while and is giving me lots of eye contact.

Could this be an example of her behaving differently around me?
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
You would think that, but she was with friends at the time when she was hiding. Later on today she waited to speak to me on my own for a while and is giving me lots of eye contact.

Could this be an example of her behaving differently around me?
Perhaps.

How old is she?

And, um, how sure are you that she in an ENFP?
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
Perhaps.

How old is she?

And, um, how sure are you that she in an ENFP?

She is only young (19 I think), and I know she's an ENFP because she's taken the test (and from other things that she's said like how she has difficulty concentrating on one subject, has a wide range of interests from computing to drama, makes friends easily etc).
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Ahh, then you might still have a solid chance, buddy!!!
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
Ahh, then you might still have a solid chance, buddy!!!

Thanks, but I'm not sure whether she's dating someone and I'm very cautious about approaching her directly. I'm happy to just flirt with her and calculate that it will get to the point where it will be so obvious to both of us that nature will take it's course.
 

BlownAway

New member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Messages
41
MBTI Type
ENFP
I can never tell if someone is into me, they have to be extremely obvious (like I am..puppy dog :D). But, don't wait too long with an ENFP!!!! Pleeeeease...we want action ;). Just go for it!
 

PinkIceTD

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
299
MBTI Type
ENFP
I can never tell if someone is into me, they have to be extremely obvious (like I am..puppy dog :D). But, don't wait too long with an ENFP!!!! Pleeeeease...we want action ;). Just go for it!

yeah...if you wait too long we get impatient and once its gone its gone.
 

ConchShell

New member
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
79
MBTI Type
ENFP
"And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.
Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course."

Brilliant answer and surely correct with regards to how I behave.
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
The situation has become hyptothetical now as I've discovered today that she has a boyfriend ... arrghh.

My only hope is that she doesn't stay in the relationship long after it's died else I could be waiting a long time: although to be fair they looked happy together... oh well...
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
The situation has become hyptothetical now as I've discovered today that she has a boyfriend ... arrghh.

My only hope is that she doesn't stay in the relationship long after it's died else I could be waiting a long time: although to be fair they looked happy together... oh well...

Ouch, sorry to hear that bro.

Good luck with it, and don't forget rule #1 in the gentleman's guide to finding a good girl: Thou shalt do thine own research before pursuing.

Personally, I recommend you skip that and follow rule #1 of the players guide: Tap it any way you find it dog...

just kidding.

You know, asking her if a rag smells like chloroform to her is usually a sure fire pick up line.


I kid I kid. I am just trying to cheer you up. :hug:
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
From my experience. Some are shy. Some are forward.

To my male friend, in the end it is going to be how much of a challenge you are to her world. In fact this applies to almost all women.

Ironically, this is very hard for guys to apply. I still make mistakes that can drive a girls interest down related to this. Best is to live and learn, and try...and yes as an INTJ I can relate how hard that can be with the calculating.

Actually I could go into this for some time, but I don't want to derail the thread. However the last time I tried opening up to an ENFP, even though she wanted to get through my wall (basically told it to me directly to drop the wall), her interest level apparently crashed...big time. I have been "consoled" when I do my head scratching later that she may have been immature or in a bad "manipulative" state by other older ENFP's but yeah, she basically proved to me that ENFP's can be just like every other women and some are not as "tolerant" or "different" then others when it comes to the whole "challenge" argument.

I would just approach it geniunely how you feel but keep her a distance (i.e. dont rush into it fast or you may burn through it too fast) by not seeing her all the time for awhile(maybe a date every 7-10 days, avoid her by being busy after that. Even if you have to reorganize your sock drawer!) . You will know quickly know if she is interested in you (because she will slowly be coming after you since you are staying a far) or not by pulling back. I know some will disagree with me here though;)
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
Ouch, sorry to hear that bro.

Good luck with it, and don't forget rule #1 in the gentleman's guide to finding a good girl: Thou shalt do thine own research before pursuing.

Personally, I recommend you skip that and follow rule #1 of the players guide: Tap it any way you find it dog...

just kidding.

You know, asking her if a rag smells like chloroform to her is usually a sure fire pick up line.


I kid I kid. I am just trying to cheer you up. :hug:


I will be tapping it any way I find it hehe . Now I've seen the guy I don't feel so bad: he's not a stud muffin and I'm sure he can't be as smart as me? Is that possible? [joke]. On a more modest note he's probably a lot more charming and charismatic than an INTJ fellow could ever dream of being.

I'm glad I found out she had a boyfriend before I made a move on her: that would have been a disaster.

By the way, I made a decision this morning based on the roll of a dice: e.g. should I make a move. I gave myself a number of options and rolled a 1: do nothing. I rolled again to make sure: 1 again. FATE!
 

Neo Genesis

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2008
Messages
322
MBTI Type
InFp
Enneagram
4w5
From my experience. Some are shy. Some are forward.

To my male friend, in the end it is going to be how much of a challenge you are to her world. In fact this applies to almost all women.

Ironically, this is very hard for guys to apply. I still make mistakes that can drive a girls interest down related to this. Best is to live and learn, and try...and yes as an INTJ I can relate how hard that can be with the calculating.

Actually I could go into this for some time, but I don't want to derail the thread. However the last time I tried opening up to an ENFP, even though she wanted to get through my wall (basically told it to me directly to drop the wall), her interest level apparently crashed...big time. I have been "consoled" when I do my head scratching later that she may have been immature or in a bad "manipulative" state by other older ENFP's but yeah, she basically proved to me that ENFP's can be just like every other women and some are not as "tolerant" or "different" then others when it comes to the whole "challenge" argument.

I would just approach it geniunely how you feel but keep her a distance (i.e. dont rush into it fast or you may burn through it too fast) by not seeing her all the time for awhile(maybe a date every 7-10 days, avoid her by being busy after that. Even if you have to reorganize your sock drawer!) . You will know quickly know if she is interested in you (because she will slowly be coming after you since you are staying a far) or not by pulling back. I know some will disagree with me here though;)

Its funny, I've never actually bought into the "challenge" theory. It seems to me that women respond much more favorably to confidence and humor than to anything else. But, hey, whatever works right. ;)

On a more modest note he's probably a lot more charming and charismatic than an INTJ fellow could ever dream of being.

Why would you ever think that?! Haven't you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Prime example right there.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
Its funny, I've never actually bought into the "challenge" theory. It seems to me that women respond much more favorably to confidence and humor than to anything else. But, hey, whatever works right. ;)



Why would you ever think that?! Haven't you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Prime example right there.

There are three principles for a guy to maintain with a girl (plus keeping yourself in shape never hurts for the "first" impression):

confidence
self control
challenge

If I were to psychoanalyze myself: confidence post first meeting no problem, self control is no problem except in a few cases where something gets under my skin (and I become more INFJ like suddenly too), and third challenge, gotta keep practicing as I can preach and coach it very well with others, but the Se part makes it a failure at times. Booo at self traits!
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
You should try try socializing. I hear it improves social skills.

/asshole
 

ed111

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INTJ
There are three principles for a guy to maintain with a girl (plus keeping yourself in shape never hurts for the "first" impression):

confidence
self control
challenge

If I were to psychoanalyze myself: confidence post first meeting no problem, self control is no problem except in a few cases where something gets under my skin (and I become more INFJ like suddenly too), and third challenge, gotta keep practicing as I can preach and coach it very well with others, but the Se part makes it a failure at times. Booo at self traits!

Confidence is not an issue with me. I know exactly who I am and what I'm capable of. I have to be careful to restrain my confidence, to ensure that I tone down my statements. There is a quote I very much like from a UK TV show called Holby city (a hospital drama) in which the head surgeon states, "there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance: a line I walk every day". I feel that way too.

I like to show emotion, but only occasionally in flashes. Other than that I do typically have a very stern expression on my face. I have been described in the past as looking like I want to kill someone, and was constantly told to 'cheer up' in my youth. The comedian Bill Hicks summed this up:

To Bill: "Hey buddy, you know it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile?"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Well, you know, it takes more energy to say that than it does to leave me alone. So why don't you go away, so I can really start fuckin' smiling?"

Challenge? As in challenge ideas and the status-quo? Question opinions, theories, beliefs. Again, this is something I have to restrain as it can tend to annoy people.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
Confidence is not an issue with me. I know exactly who I am and what I'm capable of. I have to be careful to restrain my confidence, to ensure that I tone down my statements. There is a quote I very much like from a UK TV show called Holby city (a hospital drama) in which the head surgeon states, "there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance: a line I walk every day". I feel that way too.

I like to show emotion, but only occasionally in flashes. Other than that I do typically have a very stern expression on my face. I have been described in the past as looking like I want to kill someone, and was constantly told to 'cheer up' in my youth. The comedian Bill Hicks summed this up:

To Bill: "Hey buddy, you know it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile?"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Well, you know, it takes more energy to say that than it does to leave me alone. So why don't you go away, so I can really start fuckin' smiling?"

Challenge? As in challenge ideas and the status-quo? Question opinions, theories, beliefs. Again, this is something I have to restrain as it can tend to annoy people.

Dont mistake INTJ arrogant confidence for the same confidence women look at...it will trap you.

For self control, do you have jealousy or aggressive over tone towards other guys if they hit on a girl you like?

Challenge...HA! We have a lot to discuss young ed111 san. Think of the "game" guys and girls play in relationship building, and past the immaturities of it, you'll see some hints on what challenge is.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
I don't know about other female ENFPs, I didn't read the previous messages. When I like a guy, I tend to:

1. :run: Get coy. Smile a lot, blush, but shy away and walk the other direction.

2. Be in denial if a guy likes me. I play it off. Other times, I'm pretty aloof/really don't try to think much about it, because in my experiences, guys who really like a girl will flat out say it/do the chasing.

3. Not act like myself around him. I find that the more I like a guy, the more self-aware I tend to be, which isn't good. That's why I tend to be more comfy around guys I don't like and have no worries about being totally care-free/myself around them.

If I don't like a guy, I find that I'm extra friendly, extra playful, cheery and completely 'Me' around them. I feel more at ease, which isn't too good, because it sends an unintented vibes that get misinterpreted. If I like a guy, it's a different story. It's puzzling.:doh:

If there's suspicion she's into you, test the waters a bit. Do a little playful teasing. See how she reacts. If she's feeling it, then she'll at least smile. If she's not feeling it, she'll show slight dissonance by her unresponsiveness. That's how I work. G'Luck! ;D
 
Top