This week I've been obsessed with organizing my home, artwork, computer files, music collection, etc. You see, I have a habit of collecting/saving pretty much everything that has memories and/or emotions attached to them. I can't let go. I'm not really neurotic about this collecting thing, or maybe I am... but it's not the problem. I have a lot of stuff (especially on my computer) and occasionally I get this forceful urge to organize everything better. Whenever I start organizing like this, I also feel like throwing away useless stuff to easen the burden, but it's so difficul! But at the same time it's like letting go... it makes me feel better, free.
I tried to sum up my situation there, but I don't know if it makes any sense to you. Anyway, let's continue... yesterday I stumbled on this site:
That chart made me see the shadow thing in a new way. Shadow personality represents itself especially when stressed, right? And it is the negative form of the fucntions, I believe. Let's have a look at my last two functions, Te and Si:
Deceiving Extraverted Thinking: Segmenting, organizing for efficiency, and systematizing.
YES. You betcha! Just what I'm bothered with.
Devilish Introverted Sensing: Reviewing and recalling past experiences and seeking detailed data.
YES! You betcha! Just what I'm bothered with.
When I realized this... it just made perfect sense... So, whenever I'm stressed, I start to organize, clean and dwell on my past experiences. I am often very sad about time going by so fast and I get stuck with that thought. That's why I collect otherwise meaningless stuff, to remember the past more accurately... I guess...
I'm currently very stressed out (work related). So that's why I am dwelling in the negative form of SiTe. Last time I had this strong an organizing frenzy, it was before graduation when I worked on my final thesis. I was totally stressed out back then. I threw out over twenty sacks of garbage and junk from my home. Old clothes, broken devices, etc.
I don't know if I'm understanding this shadow thing exactly right, please correct me if I'm wrong... and let us hear about your own experiences with these shadow qualities. Is this typical INFJ behavior? I'm myself extremely happy about realizing this tendency... and how it is stress related.