[ENFP] An ENFP's Bedroom - can you relate?

[Starry]

Something that was hilarious to everybody except to the one who got pranked. I'm just waiting to see how the after-effects play out. I'm lucky he hasn't turned me in to HR, because he's done that to others for less.

I can't imagine an ENFP turning someone in unless innocent individuals are being hurt or injustice is occurring but ok. Be careful.

 

[Mal12345]

I can't imagine an ENFP turning someone in unless innocent individuals are being hurt or injustice is occurring but ok. Be careful.

The situation is that he feels this urge to commiserate with people who are having problems. I made up a lie about someone with a problem that doesn't exist. The next day he went to that person in an attempt to be emotionally supportive. That was the second time I did that in about 3 weeks. I think he's very embarrassed (and angry) and now he won't even speak to me.

 

[Starry]

The situation is that he feels this urge to commiserate with people who are having problems. I made up a lie about someone with a problem that doesn't exist. The next day he went to that person in an attempt to be emotionally supportive. That was the second time I did that in about 3 weeks. I think he's very embarrassed (and angry) and now he won't even speak to me.

I'm not every ENFP but I doubt he's thinking "omg I'm embarrassed I fell for the same prank twice" even if it were true. He's probably asking himself why you would poke fun at a well-meaning quality in a person (not saying it is more well-meaning than selfish but he probably believes it is). If he goes to HR it will most likely be to report you for making up negative stories about your co-workers to get at him. That's what I would think.

 

[LucieCat]

If I'm living with someone, I'm more motivated to keep my space clean. Or if I know someone else who will be there.
I can collect clutter, but it's not TERRIBLE. I misplace things in a perfectly clean room to begin with.
I also feel my bedroom is completely cleaner if I make my bed.
Sonetimes though when I'm very busy with classes, my room turns into a wreck for about a day. But I'll want to straighten everything up eventually. I like when things are nice looking.

 

[LucieCat]

The situation is that he feels this urge to commiserate with people who are having problems. I made up a lie about someone with a problem that doesn't exist. The next day he went to that person in an attempt to be emotionally supportive. That was the second time I did that in about 3 weeks. I think he's very embarrassed (and angry) and now he won't even speak to me.

As an ENFP, I would feel a lot of frustration in this scenario. Especially if it happened multiple times.
ENFPs don't anger easily (at least most of them). Sometimes we get fed up though with something. Especially if we've felt that we have been mistreated or another person has been wronged.
An actually angry outburst from an ENFP is apparantly terrifying. On the rare occassion I've blown up, people have stared at me in horror. So, at least that hasn't happened.
Giving people time to cool off is always solid advice. I find it works for a huge percentage of people.

 

[Yama]

You guys... mine is sooo much worse. I blamed it on moving, but in all honesty, I've been a slob for as long as I can remember. I always have clothes in multiple baskets that are designated either clean or dirty, but what inevitably happens is that I end up digging through a basket for something and shit ends up all over the floor and stays there. I also always have a chair covered in clothes.

Laundry is my one weakness, too. I have a dresser but it's full of stuffed animals, and my clothes sit in the dryer until someone else needs to do laundry, then they get moved into a laundry basket I dumped in the hallway.

I was raised by a VERY messy ENFP hoarder.

Same.

 

[WatchlessThyme]

My ex's ex-wife is an ENFP and he would tell me how completely junkie the house would be every time he came home off the road (he was a district manager for an industrial company). He told me he'd have to come home after days of travel and long hours and clean and cook for their 3 kids.

 

[Starry]

My ex's ex-wife is an ENFP and he would tell me how completely junkie the house would be every time he came home off the road (he was a district manager for an industrial company). He told me he'd have to come home after days of travel and long hours and clean and cook for their 3 kids.

This post rubs me the wrong way for some reason. I mean, a lot of ENFPs struggle to keep their environments organized...this is true. And there's little doubt we'll ever be able to measure up to the perfection inherent in the INFJ.

But if I was traveling for days and working long hours...while my spouse (regardless of type) was home caring for our 3 kids...I would expect to come home to a disaster. I would expect to come home and have to do a little clean up myself and would be happy too. Because I know which of those two chores is the more challenging.

What you describe is very common for people of all types.

 

[WatchlessThyme]

This post rubs me the wrong way for some reason. I mean, a lot of ENFPs struggle to keep their environments organized...this is true. And there's little doubt we'll ever be able to measure up to the perfection inherent in the INFJ.

But if I was traveling for days and working long hours...while my spouse (regardless of type) was home caring for our 3 kids...I would expect to come home to a disaster. I would expect to come home and have to do a little clean up myself and would be happy too. Because I know which of those two chores is the more challenging.

What you describe is very common for people of all types.

It rubs you the wrong way because (and I'm assuming here) you're looking at the miniscule amount of detail I provided through the lenses of your own experiences. Let me give you a bit of detail.

The children were 15, 10, and 8-- all ages that can, should, and did have chores so that the brunt of housework wouldnt fall on either one parent. The mother, however, did not enforce said chores when my ex was not there. She felt that children shouldn't have household responsibilities.

When my ex would come home the children, save the 15 year old, would be Un-washed and in pajamas and hungry because the mother was too busy working on one her side money makong projects that never generated any revenue to make sure the children were taken care of.

If I come home after days on end and NOTHING is done, meaning the kids aren't taken care of AND no house work or food has been prepared, there's a serious problem. Regardless of type. This one just happened to be an ENFP.

 

[Starry]

It rubs you the wrong way because (and I'm assuming here) you're looking at the miniscule amount of detail I provided through the lenses of your own experiences.

Yes. This is all accurate. And I do recognize that my reaction has nothing to do with you as I don't know you and am unable to make any kind of determination as to what exists beyond the little you've shared. I am definitely responding to what my experience has taught me. That when someone comes and announces Y...based on my experience X is generally behind it. And I have learned over time to be on the constant lookout for X as it has caused me great pain. I have learned over time it is safe to assume X exists.


In general I'm uncomfortable when women speak poorly about the ex girlfriend or wife. I'm not sure why but it is something I have never done. I see the relationship as past and subsequently sacred. Does this mean I won't help my partner work through whatever issues they have stemming from a past relationship? Of course not but that is the only place...in private... I will speak of it. When I'm in a relationship I love all of the person...including their wounds (I see wounds as opportunities and as holding tremendous power for transformation and enlightenment). But I also know it takes two to tango. I always find myself thanking the ex for the good and the bad in spirit...and wishing her the very best. Here...the X is generally competition and blame.

My other reaction was based on my personal experience of being told my entire life how worthless I am because I don't slide easily into a single mold. It is interesting to have all you do overlooked merely because you don't do time and organization well.

Let me give you a bit of detail.

The children were 15, 10, and 8-- all ages that can, should, and did have chores so that the brunt of housework wouldnt fall on either one parent. The mother, however, did not enforce said chores when my ex was not there. She felt that children shouldn't have household responsibilities.

When my ex would come home the children, save the 15 year old, would be Un-washed and in pajamas and hungry because the mother was too busy working on one her side money makong projects that never generated any revenue to make sure the children were taken care of.

If I come home after days on end and NOTHING is done, meaning the kids aren't taken care of AND no house work or food has been prepared, there's a serious problem. Regardless of type. This one just happened to be an ENFP.

^^Sure...I could see an ENFP being this way. I mean, I've worked with children of all ages for my entire life...and I can't count the number of times I had everyone involved in a project and missed the lunch bell...or fucked this thing up or that thing up... But god damn my kids know they matter to me. They don't come to me for food or drink or to have something cleaned. I'm not nor have I ever been the most popular teacher or counselor or advisor or mentor for practical reasons. They love me for other... just as valuable if not more so in this day and age reasons.

 

[Lily Bart]

That doesn't look like my daughter's room. I was always very strict about rooms having to be cleaned every Saturday before anything else. But then, it never occurred to me to look in the closet or under the bed!

 

[Rebeka]

and a very curious thing is when you wake up a morning and feel an extreme necessity for tidying up all and cleaning every corner... then the impulse vanishes when you have more urgent occupations and your rooms ends up being the usual messy it always was XD

 

[Peter Deadpan]