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  1. #1
    Senior Member phoenix31's Avatar
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    Default Is constantly changing an INFP thing?

    I'm recently separated and divorcing and I'm going through the cliche period of self exploration and discovery, I guess.

    My ex said I was exhausting to keep up with because I am constantly changing.

    I walked into a shop yesterday and it reminded me of a former life... homemade soap, essential oils, all-natural everything. I was into all of that hardcore and then one day I just stopped.

    I was a vegetarian and then one day I just stopped.

    I did the keto diet faithfully for about a year and then one day I just stopped.

    I got on certain social justice kicks and then just stopped.

    I get really into things until I'm not, and then I just halt and get into something else. I feel doubtful that I'll ever be one, static person who somebody else can count on because I'm always changing. However, I also had a very strict, religious upbringing and never had any period of self exploration while I was young, so I don't know if that contributes.

    Is this behavior typical of an INFP? Is anyone else similar and do you have any insight for me?
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  2. #2
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
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    Yeah I think we may tend to get into something and be hardcore about it for a time and then just drop it. I certainly do. Maybe our problem is we don’t really explain to others why we lost interest? I definitely have reasons for the change in outlook but I may not convey them well to others.

    I’m constantly in flux anyway. My hobbies, my moods, my wanting to socialize and then wanting to engage hermit mode. I could see where that frustrates others. I think there’s a pattern to my ways but people either adjust to it or they become angry and walk off. Either way I can’t blame them. I think of it like an animal’s coat. It may become thicker or lighter and even change colors depending on the season. You just have to recognize the pattern.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix31 View Post
    Is this behavior typical of an INFP?
    I don't know if it's typical, but it's not my MO. I do have different interests and obsessions over the years, but they don't include lifestyle changes. I'm a creature of habit.

    My ISFP sister is like that, though. She gets very invested in new things--exercise regimes, diets, philosophies, hobbies, career goals, etc.

    I think it could be an FP tendency, with some being more changeable and some being more static in their priorities.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Sky Blue's Avatar
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    If you're going through big life changes I think it's normal for you to change, as well. Change is part of growth and healing.

    I try a lot of new things but I think it's just how I am. I picked up ukulele on a whim because it was only 30 bucks. I just looked and realize I have some classic games stashed away and I forgot halfway through one that I was playing it.

  5. #5
    wallflowe r🥀 DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    I can be something of a dilettante if I'm honest. I dont forget about what I used to love and there's definitely things that are precious to me, but I tend to want to do/learn a lot of different things at once. When I play piano I can hardly stick to completing one song, I get excited about the next one and I end up only learning the intros to a lot of songs lol. I also get interested in a lot of different hobbies. I wouldnt say I make drastic lifestyle changes frequently though, my enfp sister is more likely to do something like that.
    I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free...

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  6. #6
    Senior Member thepumpkinpot's Avatar
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    P's are definitely more prone to changing because they're more flexible in their ways. But I think the fact you never could live out your phase of self-discovery is more likely the cause. Especially during puberty most teenages need to have the room to try out all kinds of stuff and see if it fits, and if you have felt that need back then and it didn't get fullfilled, it's more than likely to spill over into adulthood. I see how that can be frustrating for others too, but imho denying a very basic need like this wouldn't be good for you. Maybe you'll have tried out enough stuff one day and then you'll be fine. Don't know how but try to figure out if you're just trying to fill a gap made in your teenage years or if it's just a part of your personality, then you can know how to handle it.


    Quote Originally Posted by DulcetRefrain View Post
    I can be something of a dilettante if I'm honest. I dont forget about what I used to love and there's definitely things that are precious to me, but I tend to want to do/learn a lot of different things at once. When I play piano I can hardly stick to completing one song, I get excited about the next one and I end up only learning the intros to a lot of songs lol. I also get interested in a lot of different hobbies. I wouldnt say I make drastic lifestyle changes frequently though, my enfp sister is more likely to do something like that.
    The ever-fleeting Fi in combination with Ne... oh man I used to have problems with sticking to something myself when I was younger. Definitely know what you're talking about.
    On a side note: You have an ENFP sister? What is it like being an INFP and having an ENFP sister? I can't imagine that at all, everyone in my family was a T, except for me.
    If I'm saint, then you're heaven
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    Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue.

  7. #7
    Problem? Grand Admiral Crunch's Avatar
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    I'm constantly doing some lifestyle change or another and my interests are erratic. The changing itself hasn't bothered people, but the particular interest might tick people off if it conflicts with their beliefs/lifestyle. I guess, too bad for them? That's who I am. I figure I'm trying to become the best person I can be and also adapt to a world that's constantly changing.

  8. #8
    wallflowe r🥀 DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepumpkinpot View Post
    P's are definitely more prone to changing because they're more flexible in their ways. But I think the fact you never could live out your phase of self-discovery is more likely the cause. Especially during puberty most teenages need to have the room to try out all kinds of stuff and see if it fits, and if you have felt that need back then and it didn't get fullfilled, it's more than likely to spill over into adulthood. I see how that can be frustrating for others too, but imho denying a very basic need like this wouldn't be good for you. Maybe you'll have tried out enough stuff one day and then you'll be fine. Don't know how but try to figure out if you're just trying to fill a gap made in your teenage years or if it's just a part of your personality, then you can know how to handle it.




    The ever-fleeting Fi in combination with Ne... oh man I used to have problems with sticking to something myself when I was younger. Definitely know what you're talking about.
    On a side note: You have an ENFP sister? What is it like being an INFP and having an ENFP sister? I can't imagine that at all, everyone in my family was a T, except for me.
    Yep I do She's a year younger than me and we've always been pretty close. Especially as children, we played a lot together. Even dressed the same sometimes bc mom thought it was cute -cringes- People thought we were twins quite often even if we werent dressed the same. I also remember when we moved to a new state we didnt see each other a lot at the new elementary school, so when she saw me at recess while walking with her class she stepped out of line just to hug me. I miss those days sometimes, she's such a mean lil turd now lol XD

    We're into a lot of the same things so that adds to our closeness. We get along most out of everyone in my family, but we are different in a lot of ways when you really know us. She definitely has more attitude than me lol. As a child I was the most sensitive docile thing, and she was loud and threw temper tantrums. And if I didnt play dolls with her im sure she would have ripped all the heads off lol, bc she was destructive when left alone. When we played together I think she was focused on the plot I made up so she didnt think about decapitating barbies 😂 She definitely has less patience than I do, but she's also more bold and adventurous than me. She's great at expressing herself creatively, she's very open. She rants to me a lot about what she's feeling, she wont do that with anyone else. I dont really rant to her myself just bc she isnt the greatest listener haha. We dont argue very much. Although sometimes her energy is overbearing, because she talks. So much. And its always when I'm writing or in my own head preoccupied so I'm kinda like, I dont wanna shut her up but at the same time pleaseee shut up 😂Overall it's a positive experience though, I always feel like NFPs make great buddies/siblings.

    We are the only NFPs in the house though. My mom is an ISFJ, dad is an ISTJ, and I'm pretty sure my older sister is an ENTP. So I guess that's what made us sorta cling to each other
    I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free...

    Johari
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  9. #9
    Senior Member thepumpkinpot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DulcetRefrain View Post
    Yep I do She's a year younger than me and we've always been pretty close. Especially as children, we played a lot together. Even dressed the same sometimes bc mom thought it was cute -cringes- ...

    Ah, alright. That's kinda funny because my mom is an ISTJ and my father was most likely an ENTP. My only brother's incredibly hard to type, but I think he's an INFJ, but a very bitter one. Always wondered what'd be like to have a sibling that's not a complete a**. But since your sis and your older sister share Ne as a dom function, they should be getting along quite well too. From what you described, that doesn't seem to be the case though and I can imagine why. Ti and Fi clash a lot.
    If I'm saint, then you're heaven
    My only
    If I'm a waste, then you're golden
    My only
    If I'm a shame, then you're bolder than all of me
    If I'm a saint, then you're heaven
    My only

    Cement for all of our teeth


    __________________________________________________ ___________________________________

    Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue.

  10. #10
    wallflowe r🥀 DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepumpkinpot View Post
    Ah, alright. That's kinda funny because my mom is an ISTJ and my father was most likely an ENTP. My only brother's incredibly hard to type, but I think he's an INFJ, but a very bitter one. Always wondered what'd be like to have a sibling that's not a complete a**. But since your sis and your older sister share Ne as a dom function, they should be getting along quite well too. From what you described, that doesn't seem to be the case though and I can imagine why. Ti and Fi clash a lot.
    That's so interesting, do they get on well? I mean they do get along sort of, they describe it as a love/hate relationship lol. Both being extroverts with Ne they tend to laugh and talk a lot with each other (sharing a room with them isn't easy, they talk a lot regardless of what time it is ). They are also into some of the same things so they get all excitable about it. But like if she's getting too emotional over something, acting self centered, etc. Then my older sis will basically tell her to grow up, because she has a tendency to just wallow in feelings or unhealthily cope with stuff, be lazy, etc. And my older sis thinks it's just ridiculous, that what you like doesn't matter if something needs to be done. So that's why she doesn't really share her feelings with anyone in the family but me. Even when I disagree I still validate her viewpoints and listen to her. The thing I think my sister doesn't see is that people are more receptive to you when you hear them out, regardless of the situation I think people deserve to be heard.
    I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free...

    Johari
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