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[INFP] Is constantly changing an INFP thing?

phoenix31

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Dec 11, 2015
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I'm recently separated and divorcing and I'm going through the cliche period of self exploration and discovery, I guess.

My ex said I was exhausting to keep up with because I am constantly changing.

I walked into a shop yesterday and it reminded me of a former life... homemade soap, essential oils, all-natural everything. I was into all of that hardcore and then one day I just stopped.

I was a vegetarian and then one day I just stopped.

I did the keto diet faithfully for about a year and then one day I just stopped.

I got on certain social justice kicks and then just stopped.

I get really into things until I'm not, and then I just halt and get into something else. I feel doubtful that I'll ever be one, static person who somebody else can count on because I'm always changing. However, I also had a very strict, religious upbringing and never had any period of self exploration while I was young, so I don't know if that contributes.

Is this behavior typical of an INFP? Is anyone else similar and do you have any insight for me?
 
Joined
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Yeah I think we may tend to get into something and be hardcore about it for a time and then just drop it. I certainly do. Maybe our problem is we don’t really explain to others why we lost interest? I definitely have reasons for the change in outlook but I may not convey them well to others.

I’m constantly in flux anyway. My hobbies, my moods, my wanting to socialize and then wanting to engage hermit mode. I could see where that frustrates others. I think there’s a pattern to my ways but people either adjust to it or they become angry and walk off. Either way I can’t blame them. I think of it like an animal’s coat. It may become thicker or lighter and even change colors depending on the season. You just have to recognize the pattern.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
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Is this behavior typical of an INFP?

I don't know if it's typical, but it's not my MO. I do have different interests and obsessions over the years, but they don't include lifestyle changes. I'm a creature of habit.

My ISFP sister is like that, though. She gets very invested in new things--exercise regimes, diets, philosophies, hobbies, career goals, etc.

I think it could be an FP tendency, with some being more changeable and some being more static in their priorities. :shrug:
 

Sky Blue

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If you're going through big life changes I think it's normal for you to change, as well. Change is part of growth and healing.

I try a lot of new things but I think it's just how I am. I picked up ukulele on a whim because it was only 30 bucks. I just looked and realize I have some classic games stashed away and I forgot halfway through one that I was playing it. :unsure:
 
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I can be something of a dilettante if I'm honest. I dont forget about what I used to love and there's definitely things that are precious to me, but I tend to want to do/learn a lot of different things at once. When I play piano I can hardly stick to completing one song, I get excited about the next one and I end up only learning the intros to a lot of songs lol. I also get interested in a lot of different hobbies. I wouldnt say I make drastic lifestyle changes frequently though, my enfp sister is more likely to do something like that.
 

PumpkinMayCare

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P's are definitely more prone to changing because they're more flexible in their ways. But I think the fact you never could live out your phase of self-discovery is more likely the cause. Especially during puberty most teenages need to have the room to try out all kinds of stuff and see if it fits, and if you have felt that need back then and it didn't get fullfilled, it's more than likely to spill over into adulthood. I see how that can be frustrating for others too, but imho denying a very basic need like this wouldn't be good for you. Maybe you'll have tried out enough stuff one day and then you'll be fine. Don't know how but try to figure out if you're just trying to fill a gap made in your teenage years or if it's just a part of your personality, then you can know how to handle it.


I can be something of a dilettante if I'm honest. I dont forget about what I used to love and there's definitely things that are precious to me, but I tend to want to do/learn a lot of different things at once. When I play piano I can hardly stick to completing one song, I get excited about the next one and I end up only learning the intros to a lot of songs lol. I also get interested in a lot of different hobbies. I wouldnt say I make drastic lifestyle changes frequently though, my enfp sister is more likely to do something like that.

The ever-fleeting Fi in combination with Ne... oh man I used to have problems with sticking to something myself when I was younger. Definitely know what you're talking about.
On a side note: You have an ENFP sister? What is it like being an INFP and having an ENFP sister? I can't imagine that at all, everyone in my family was a T, except for me.
 
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I'm constantly doing some lifestyle change or another and my interests are erratic. The changing itself hasn't bothered people, but the particular interest might tick people off if it conflicts with their beliefs/lifestyle. I guess, too bad for them? That's who I am. I figure I'm trying to become the best person I can be and also adapt to a world that's constantly changing.
 
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P's are definitely more prone to changing because they're more flexible in their ways. But I think the fact you never could live out your phase of self-discovery is more likely the cause. Especially during puberty most teenages need to have the room to try out all kinds of stuff and see if it fits, and if you have felt that need back then and it didn't get fullfilled, it's more than likely to spill over into adulthood. I see how that can be frustrating for others too, but imho denying a very basic need like this wouldn't be good for you. Maybe you'll have tried out enough stuff one day and then you'll be fine. Don't know how but try to figure out if you're just trying to fill a gap made in your teenage years or if it's just a part of your personality, then you can know how to handle it.




The ever-fleeting Fi in combination with Ne... oh man I used to have problems with sticking to something myself when I was younger. Definitely know what you're talking about.
On a side note: You have an ENFP sister? What is it like being an INFP and having an ENFP sister? I can't imagine that at all, everyone in my family was a T, except for me.

Yep I do :) She's a year younger than me and we've always been pretty close. Especially as children, we played a lot together. Even dressed the same sometimes bc mom thought it was cute -cringes- People thought we were twins quite often even if we werent dressed the same. I also remember when we moved to a new state we didnt see each other a lot at the new elementary school, so when she saw me at recess while walking with her class she stepped out of line just to hug me. :hug: I miss those days sometimes, she's such a mean lil turd now lol XD

We're into a lot of the same things so that adds to our closeness. We get along most out of everyone in my family, but we are different in a lot of ways when you really know us. She definitely has more attitude than me lol. As a child I was the most sensitive docile thing, and she was loud and threw temper tantrums. And if I didnt play dolls with her im sure she would have ripped all the heads off lol, bc she was destructive when left alone. When we played together I think she was focused on the plot I made up so she didnt think about decapitating barbies 😂 She definitely has less patience than I do, but she's also more bold and adventurous than me. She's great at expressing herself creatively, she's very open. She rants to me a lot about what she's feeling, she wont do that with anyone else. I dont really rant to her myself just bc she isnt the greatest listener haha. We dont argue very much. Although sometimes her energy is overbearing, because she talks. So much. And its always when I'm writing or in my own head preoccupied so I'm kinda like, I dont wanna shut her up but at the same time pleaseee shut up 😂Overall it's a positive experience though, I always feel like NFPs make great buddies/siblings.

We are the only NFPs in the house though. My mom is an ISFJ, dad is an ISTJ, and I'm pretty sure my older sister is an ENTP. So I guess that's what made us sorta cling to each other :)
 

PumpkinMayCare

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Yep I do :) She's a year younger than me and we've always been pretty close. Especially as children, we played a lot together. Even dressed the same sometimes bc mom thought it was cute -cringes- ...


Ah, alright. That's kinda funny because my mom is an ISTJ and my father was most likely an ENTP. My only brother's incredibly hard to type, but I think he's an INFJ, but a very bitter one. Always wondered what'd be like to have a sibling that's not a complete a**. But since your sis and your older sister share Ne as a dom function, they should be getting along quite well too. From what you described, that doesn't seem to be the case though and I can imagine why. Ti and Fi clash a lot.
 
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Ah, alright. That's kinda funny because my mom is an ISTJ and my father was most likely an ENTP. My only brother's incredibly hard to type, but I think he's an INFJ, but a very bitter one. Always wondered what'd be like to have a sibling that's not a complete a**. But since your sis and your older sister share Ne as a dom function, they should be getting along quite well too. From what you described, that doesn't seem to be the case though and I can imagine why. Ti and Fi clash a lot.

That's so interesting, do they get on well? I mean they do get along sort of, they describe it as a love/hate relationship lol. Both being extroverts with Ne they tend to laugh and talk a lot with each other (sharing a room with them isn't easy, they talk a lot regardless of what time it is :doh:). They are also into some of the same things so they get all excitable about it. But like if she's getting too emotional over something, acting self centered, etc. Then my older sis will basically tell her to grow up, because she has a tendency to just wallow in feelings or unhealthily cope with stuff, be lazy, etc. And my older sis thinks it's just ridiculous, that what you like doesn't matter if something needs to be done. So that's why she doesn't really share her feelings with anyone in the family but me. Even when I disagree I still validate her viewpoints and listen to her. The thing I think my sister doesn't see is that people are more receptive to you when you hear them out, regardless of the situation I think people deserve to be heard.
 

Starry

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May 22, 2010
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6,103
I'm recently separated and divorcing and I'm going through the cliche period of self exploration and discovery, I guess.

My ex said I was exhausting to keep up with because I am constantly changing.

I walked into a shop yesterday and it reminded me of a former life... homemade soap, essential oils, all-natural everything. I was into all of that hardcore and then one day I just stopped.

I was a vegetarian and then one day I just stopped.

I did the keto diet faithfully for about a year and then one day I just stopped.

I got on certain social justice kicks and then just stopped.

I get really into things until I'm not, and then I just halt and get into something else. I feel doubtful that I'll ever be one, static person who somebody else can count on because I'm always changing. However, I also had a very strict, religious upbringing and never had any period of self exploration while I was young, so I don't know if that contributes.

Is this behavior typical of an INFP? Is anyone else similar and do you have any insight for me?



I haven't read the responses in this thread. Sometimes if I'm doing multiple things at once I'll pop in and out of TypoC as well and so you will have to forgive me if I'm merely repeating something someone has already said.

I don't think this is a function of being an INFP necessarily. To be certain, many INFPs are quite stubborn and set in their ways. Image types have a tendency to do what you describe...most often deliberately, consciously though. When the changes escape the person like you appear to be saying (there's no real awareness on the part of the individual or intention to design a new persona) then I generally see 9 figuring prominently in the person's make-up.


What you describe is not uncommon for Seekers to experience or those with The Seeker tritype 469 prior to gaining awareness and control. And is a byproduct of their quest for self-understanding.

469 Seeker Archetype

469

If you are 469, you are intuitive, inquisitive and accepting. You want to be original, certain and peaceful. You are a very sensitive and can experience intense feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty. As a result you need multiple sources of confirmation. You want to be individualistic but can fear being separate from others.

Your life mission is to raise the questions pertaining to the mysteries of life and share your findings with others. A true seeker, you are happiest when you feel you can answer the question of who you are.


 

phoenix31

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I haven't read the responses in this thread. Sometimes if I'm doing multiple things at once I'll pop in and out of TypoC as well and so you will have to forgive me if I'm merely repeating something someone has already said.

I don't think this is a function of being an INFP necessarily. To be certain, many INFPs are quite stubborn and set in their ways. Image types have a tendency to do what you describe...most often deliberately, consciously though. When the changes escape the person like you appear to be saying (there's no real awareness on the part of the individual or intention to design a new persona) then I generally see 9 figuring prominently in the person's make-up.


What you describe is not uncommon for Seekers to experience or those with The Seeker tritype 469 prior to gaining awareness and control. And is a byproduct of their quest for self-understanding.
Thank you, that is very interesting and does sound very much like me. What personality typing system is this from?
 

JAVO

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Constant change tends to be a common trait with all perceiver types. As an eNTP, I sometimes feel as if I'm a different type for a week, month, or year. I could've explained this in terms you would understand better last year when I was still in my INFP phase. :D
 

Lucy_Ricardo

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I get really into things until I'm not, and then I just halt and get into something else. I feel doubtful that I'll ever be one, static person who somebody else can count on because I'm always changing.

The struggle is real. I think it's rooted in our habit of idealizing, but also in our tendency to have strong values that we try to emulate. We want to be the best version of ourselves, and we are constantly striving to improve. Of course, that's a generalization, and so I should probably just speak for myself.

I have this ideal person that I want to be, and I take on different projects, hobbies, and interests trying to become that person. Sometimes, whatever I take on sticks. Other times, it doesn't. It can be either fulfilling or disappointing, but it's always an effort to improve.

No matter what, whatever I take on fits in with the values I hold near. I value creativity, originality, and ingenuity, so I like to learn artistic hobbies like painting, writing, singing, and playing musical instruments. But even more, I cherish responsibility, forthrightness, loyalty, and goodness. Anything I take on is meant to support those values and qualities that I want to live by.

I think that even though INFPs can be changeable, that has no bearing on whether we're reliable. We can be dynamic and fluid and flexible and stalwart. It's part of our inextinguishable charm.
 
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I'm a perceiver type, but a seeker tritype (496) in the enneagram. However, I'm not that erratic when it comes to changing hobbies and interests. Don't get me wrong, I still do that at times with certain interests of mine, but I can be quite set in my ways once I find something that clicks with me.

What I've noticed about myself is that my fervent interest in something often wavers instead of me being constantly enamored with it enough to keep a steady schedule, but I think this a lot more common than we think. I have to REALLY push myself to stay dedicated. What keeps me pushing forward is my fear of all the hard work I once put into something would eventually dissipate if I drop it completely or even for a certain length of time, and then I'd have to start at a lower level or all over again. For me, reaching an idealized version of myself is much stronger than quitting for good and never reaching that goal or taking a very long time to do so. So I try to find some time daily or each other day to keep a practice, but it depends on what the interest is. Like learning a language, painting, and doing yoga; those are on my 'do it weekly' list and others like typology I would allow to come and go.

My Fi-dom values won't let me change when I find an interest or a philosophy that I really care about. Those would be ingrained in my lifestyle no matter what. However, there may be a time when a person hits a plateau and their interest in something will naturally decline as well, so it's healthy to take a break when necessary, but then make sure to set a date in time to get back on it.

All I can say is try to find something that you can see yourself involved in for a long time and find a way to keep it up weekly. Improvement is also a change that can be very exciting once achieved.
 

Dreamer

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It could be an INFP thing, but my first inclination is to extend this pattern to FPs. Though, that pattern may appear in varying degrees depending on the individual, where they are in maturity, understanding who they are (that "exploratory" phase being more attributed to those that are still finding themselves perhaps?), and what is currently happening in their lives.

If someone is going through a major shifting point in life, it may unsettle many foundations, depending on how strong or flimsy that inner core and sense of self is. In an attempt to strengthen their footing once again, they may plant a few or many seeds, hoping some of them may take root and grow into beautiful trees one day with roots deeply tied and "one" with the ground. Others may not understand the process or the reasoning behind this constant change, but there is purpose to it and that purpose unfortunately, isn't always the easiest to express to others.
 
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