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[MBTI General] NFs and their social life

Cypocalypse

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
eNtP
Enneagram
4w5/
As an INTP, I would say that most of my friends (or the MBTI archetype that would get along pretty well with me) are NFs. NFs are more likely to get interested with NTs a lot more than SFs, based on experience. Their high EQ often times goes well with an NTs tendency to intellectualize things.

I've always wondered how an NFs social life usually differs from that of the standard archetype for sociability, which is SF.

I have one friend whom I consider to be NF. She's a female

We have a common friend, which is quite a promiscuous ESFP female, and this NF friend would occasionally ask me if I would want to say anything to her about it. I would just say, "I'd rather not say anything because it may jeopardize the friendship."

Well, it the ESFP's girl life anyway, and even if me and my NF friend are not in favor of it, we don't talk to her about it. Live and let live.

The moral benchmark of the NF girl is one of the reasons I assume that she's an NF, not to mention that she goes along well with my NT geekiness (not a lot of SFs do), but I noticed something....

In public, she acts soooo SF. I could be confusing it with the fact that she's really pretty hence she gets to become the center of attention, but I notice that she still tries to show up a bubbly disposition to everybody despite her apparent preference in whom she likes to interact with or otherwise--which is something that I consider to be more SF than NF.

Or is this something common to all Fs regardless of a stronger N or S?
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
I've spoken similarly before: NFs are more concerned with what friendliness and socialibility mean, in the big picture, than, say, SFs. SFs appreciate these things for what they are in the moment.
 

placebo

New member
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFP
For me, I wouldn't really say so. I would be bubbly only if I was in a particularly bubbly mood. I usually feel awkwardly polite in social situations, unless I'm really comfortable with that person (friends). Then I can be obnoxious, or whatever I feel like.
 

animenagai

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Aug 22, 2008
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1,569
MBTI Type
NeFi
Enneagram
4w3
i'm sure someone can mistaken me as an ESFP if the right mix of people in a social situation. i'll say EFP's in general are bubbly. they do it for different purposes but they look similar. as an N, i want to stay true to myself and will hence actively try to just spill out all my bubbly ideas, regardless of what people think. S's act bubbly within society's expectations and possibly sees the norm as people getting along with each other. i'm sure the S may conform a lot more than the N does. the motivations for our bubbliness could be very different.
 

Edasich

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2007
Messages
192
Enneagram
4w5
Cypocalypse, sounds more like extraverted feeling to me, not S/N. Anyway, I am friendly to pretty much everyone unless they give me a reason not to be, lol, but unless I am only with a few close friends, I wouldn’t really describe myself as bubbly, just because I am too shy and awkward, lol.


And morality isn’t type related, lol.
 

Nonsensical

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Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
Even thought I am a very strong F, at that..I find myself very similar to an INTP. But yeah, the vast majority of my friends are ENTPs and INTPs, with, really, barely any other types..
 

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
Doesn't the whole "NF's etc etc" title sort of confuse the issue for anyone else?

I mean wouldn't an ENF's social life and experiences be different from the INF's?
 

Chris_in_Orbit

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Jul 7, 2008
Messages
504
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Yup, but I will admit that I have met some pretty bubbly INFPs, it really just depends on the people they are around I guess
 

Gish

Which side are you on?
Joined
Nov 22, 2007
Messages
901
MBTI Type
PTSD
I have to put on a social mask every time I leave my house. That feeling stays with me in any social situation, but I have a strong desire to fit in socially, perhaps in hopes of finding someone that shares interests. Recently this has been causing a lot of undue mental fatigue and I've been reconsidering my behavior. I don't think I've ever been "bubbly" though.

The structure of this paragraph-y sentence sucks, that is all.
 

quietmusician

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Joined
Nov 29, 2008
Messages
320
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
I lack a true social life away from the computer. When I'm around people I constantly get asked with 'Why are you so quiet?' or 'Do you ever talk?'. It annoys the hell out of me. That's why I just avoid social situations completely.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i'm sure someone can mistaken me as an ESFP if the right mix of people in a social situation. i'll say EFP's in general are bubbly. they do it for different purposes but they look similar. as an N, i want to stay true to myself and will hence actively try to just spill out all my bubbly ideas, regardless of what people think. S's act bubbly within society's expectations and possibly sees the norm as people getting along with each other. i'm sure the S may conform a lot more than the N does. the motivations for our bubbliness could be very different.

this is interesting...i've been wondering what observable difference there would be between these two types in a social situation...i'm not aware of anyone in my life that's an esfp...but i know that i don't conform in public...i agree when it's honest and shut up about it if it's not appropriate or if not asked directly but...i would very much state my opinion if i needed to but let it be known that it didn't matter to me if we agreed....i guess because of the live and let live mentality that i subscribe too that perhaps they do not? is that right?
 

SciVo

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Aug 22, 2009
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244
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INFP
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I have to put on a social mask every time I leave my house. That feeling stays with me in any social situation, but I have a strong desire to fit in socially, perhaps in hopes of finding someone that shares interests. Recently this has been causing a lot of undue mental fatigue and I've been reconsidering my behavior. I don't think I've ever been "bubbly" though.

If you want to be different than you are, that creates a tension. If it's an unchangeable trait, then it's a permanent tension.

In my experience, it's useful to identify whether it's a "should" or a true desire. "So-and-so should do thus-and-such" just means that "someone wants so-and-so to do thus-and-such," so the first step there is to identify who is doing the wanting; if it's an internalization of someone else's voice (such as your grandmother's), then feel free to disregard it.

If it's a true desire, then the first step is to validate it, and then brainstorm how to realize it. If it's a true desire to change to an unattainable trait X, then all you can do (after validating the desire) is shift perspectives; instead of asking how you can be the best X possible, ask how you can be the best you possible as an X-like.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yup, but I will admit that I have met some pretty bubbly INFPs, it really just depends on the people they are around I guess

I think that's his point....this particular NF is indiscriminately "bubbly". An INFx is unlikely to be that way.

As mentioned, ExFx in general are going to seem outgoing and warm.
Fe-doms especially will aim for a sense of solidarity in a group, which can visibly erase their real preferences for certain individuals, although those preferences are still lurking beneath the surface.
ExFPs tend to enjoy the limelight, so they will try to appeal to the group to gain it, and some may even resort to negative antics if necessary.
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
When I go out, I'm usually the girl in the middle. I like hanging amidst extreme extroverts and introverts. Depending on who I'm with and what's going on, I'll let myself become the center stage for awhile, but I don't like being the center of attention for long.

As for ENFPs being bubbly. I'm usually more silly than bubbly. Like, I think I generally come off as very serious to people who don't know me. If I get to talking though, I'm usually just very ridiculous. It's not something I show to everyone though, but I'm most comfortable being silly and also not being the total COA.
 

thinkinjazz

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May 18, 2009
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247
MBTI Type
ENFP
I love being the COA and often am, but it's more important to me that the conversation stays fun and genuine- the best situations are where we can get an honest debate going or where we are being totally silly and nonsensible- I think ENF's really love improve. I would only act particularly bubbly if that was the role I was playing at, much of the time it feels a bit fake to me. I guess SF's would be more bubbly and ENF's would be happy and silly.
 

Bubbles

See Right Through Me
Joined
Mar 13, 2009
Messages
1,037
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w3
Hmm. Have I been called bubbly? Hmmmm.
*innocent look*
;)

I think it depends. I'm friendly and warm towards people, but not quite as freely as the SF's I know. I have limits, and sometimes I'm nice to a point where I can't keep up in a conversation because I sidestep hurting people's feelings so much (when someone else might use that as a sense of humor). But if I'm in a conversation, and I have things to add (which I often do), I don't act too awkward. It helps if you can laugh at yourself. :D
 

Coeur

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Jul 13, 2009
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INFP
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4w5
I am a 'bubbly' INFP. I don't know how I come across to others, but that's how I percieve myself. I'm always smiling and saying hello to people.

I used to be super quiet and isolated, and I HATED it [although I am an introvert; I need my alone time]. Now, I make lots of effort to reach out to people, and it's really paying off! My motivation is to have a lot of friends and to be a positive, helpful influence on everyone around me. It's good to know that somebody's day was improved because I was there. Additionally, I love being brave enough to go up to people that I don't know; this is usually most fulfilling when I approach new/isolated people. You never know when you'll meet someone interesting!

It took a LOT of work on my confidence to get to this point, however. I used to be afraid to open my mouth unless I had a justified reason for it.
 

scortia

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May 23, 2009
Messages
201
MBTI Type
INFJ
When I tell most people that I'm terribly introverted they think I'm joking... in most situations I'll be as chatty as I need to be for the situation to make the other person feel at ease and so I can fit in to the situation. I don't care about being "accepted" but I don't like that weird awkwardness that my typical INFJ self would set off. I'm a high school teacher, so I've had to force a lot of extroversion out of my unwilling self. It's getting easier, but damn it's exhausting.
 
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