[MBTI General] NF-NT pairing

[WoodsWoman]

Very...
Thank you iwakar.

 

[faith]

I'm roughly 2+ years into a relationship with an INTP. For me, it's a very nice match.

~ His tendency to underexpress emotion provides a feeling of stability and security. Just being around him helps me calm down when I'm upset. It's like going into a quiet, peaceful room where I can rest.
~ Underexpression of emotion does not mean lack of feeling. He cares very deeply about a number of things, including our relationship.
~ I love the way he uses humor to call attention to my occasional irrationality. It diffuses my inner stress and creates a moment of shared intimacy when I realize that he can read my thoughts.
~ He rarely takes things personally. It's difficult to offend him.
~ The Ni/Ti combination is so helpful at times. He explains in careful detail what I "just know".
~ My flights of fancy amuse rather than annoy or confuse him.

I know there are some negatives, but at the moment I'm having a hard time coming up with them. Oh, yeah...

~ He really doesn't seem to care about social expectations. Sometimes I wish he would.
~ I can't always intuit his emotional state, and he doesn't often express it explicitly and in careful detail (as I do). It's not so terrible that he doesn't, but it just means I'm hindered from catering to it (as I'd like to).
~ Occasionally it makes me sad for him, to imagine how disconnected he feels from other people. We've talked about this a lot. He doesn't seem to care that he's disconnected, but it does seem a shame from my point of view.

There are many more positives and negatives, of course, but I tried to limit it to things that seem more generalizable to our mbti types.

 

[Fife]

I've observed two NF-NT relationships - one between my parents, the other me and my ENTJ ex.

Mum is INTP and Dad INFJ - there seems to really be love there, but Dad gets on Mum's nerves sometimes by being quite distant and grouchy - particularly when she's sick. I guess he doesn't like the lack of control when he wants her to be well. But I've definitely learned a lot watching their relationship, and try to learn from Dad's behaviour how I could change my own and from Mum a rational perspective. Always easier to learn from other people.

My ex and I really connected due to the whole discussion of ideas thing. We were together for about a year. It was the emotional/rational dynamic which threw us off in the end. He wanted to become a multi-millionaire, and I wanted to go help developing nations. Looking back it was when we shared these goals that things started going down-hill.

Atm I'm starting to fall for this INTJ at uni.

 

[runvardh]

Fife, that seems less emotional/rational and more values based; but that's a comment based on the little information given.

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat. I didn't have near the confidence I do now, not that I have much now. LOL

 

[Fife]

Hmm, good point. The way we dealt with conflict was the major area which showcased the difference type-wise.

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat.

Heat in what sense?

 

[runvardh]

Heat in what sense?

I didn't feel I was worth it; didn't know at that time NTs don't let you have that untill they find you worthy. I was young and dumb, still kind of am I think.

 

[Fife]

Hmm, definitely relate to that feeling (and condition!)

Yargh. Another INTJ mate of mine was trolling me IRL for the past few weeks. I was ignoring it, so he kept going to find my limit. Frustrating, but funny at the same time.

 

[runvardh]

Hmm, definitely relate to that feeling (and condition!)

Yargh. Another INTJ mate of mine was trolling me IRL for the past few weeks. I was ignoring it, so he kept going to find my limit. Frustrating, but funny at the same time.

I say kiss him, giggle and watch how uncomfortable he gets.

 

[Bubbles]

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat. I didn't have near the confidence I do now, not that I have much now. LOL

This is so true. OMG. Just, yes. INTPs have a secret Fe weapon capable of affection overload. May they use their powers for good instead of evil.

 

[runvardh]

This is so true. OMG. Just, yes. INTPs have a secret Fe weapon capable of affection overload. May they use their powers for good instead of evil.

Na, let the evil rain baby , two introverts need to spice things up some how

On that note: I have yet to sleep with a T...

 

[Bubbles]

On that note: I have yet to sleep with a T...

I think the Fs still reign that department though.

 

[Clonester]

I met an INTJ girl a couple weeks ago. She didn't open up at all to anyone, very reserved. I'm going to find out more about her and go from there. I know there's SOMETHING beneath that hard shell.

 

[Neutralpov]

Nf/NT

I think the attraction is one thing with NT's. It is definitely there from the get go but I end up not liking them in the long run (less than a year later) because they can't emote,show love, so I feel unappreciated or like I cannot ever feel loved enough. Always seeking more affirmation of it and that clues me in.

NF's lack the NT calm and reason so the attraction isn't as strong unless they are split on the T/F scale so I feel balanced ( I am high F!).

On a side note they have to be N for sure (84% N) and I in the long run is a annoyance I like E/I split but the I attitude of depth with the relationship and focus since I have a million friends. But too I = going to social events alone of having to babysit the introvert. :steam:

 

[Scott N Denver]

NF's lack the NT calm and reason so the attraction isn't as strong unless they are split on the T/F scale so I feel balanced ( I am high F!).

There are exceptions...

 

[Fife]

I say kiss him, giggle and watch how uncomfortable he gets.

Hahahahahaha!

 

[Fife]

I think the attraction is one thing with NT's. It is definitely there from the get go but I end up not liking them in the long run (less than a year later) because they can't emote,show love, so I feel unappreciated or like I cannot ever feel loved enough. Always seeking more affirmation of it and that clues me in.

Know the feeling. I think NTs with Fe (like Bubble's mentioned) might be easier to get along with long term.

 

[runvardh]

I think the attraction is one thing with NT's. It is definitely there from the get go but I end up not liking them in the long run (less than a year later) because they can't emote,show love, so I feel unappreciated or like I cannot ever feel loved enough. Always seeking more affirmation of it and that clues me in.

Know the feeling. I think NTs with Fe (like Bubble's mentioned) might be easier to get along with long term.

I've had an ENFJ call me cold behind my back once and I'm an NF. That said, I have seen a sample of every type of NT show some level of warmth to a worthy object and just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

 

[Fife]

Always nice to see

 

[Nyx]

NT males are sooo sexy...

 

[runvardh]

NT males are sooo sexy...

So is that painting *waggles eyebrows*