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Thread: NF-NT pairing

  1. #51
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I've found that NTs either annoy the crap outta me or I love them to death. After growing up around 4 Fs (I'm including myself here) and realizing how I just, generaly, enjoy the company of the one T in my family much more I think that NT or perhaps an ST with a well developed N, would be what I'd prefer as a mate. As friends I've attracted all types, though me and women with strong T are usually, at best, cordial. I honestly don't see myself with an INFP or an ENFJ, or an ESTJ, or an ISTP, or an ISFP, probably not an ISFJ either.....

    ESFP, or ENFP, or ENTP, or INFJ, or INTP I could see. But, I see the NT the most. I tend to crush on NTs
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  2. #52
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post
    I had a very bad experience with an INTJ. What a fucking dickhole! He was narcissitic and cold. I would say he was 100% T. I had to pretend like I had no feelings to be around him. Argh. Otherwise, NT-NF relationships could work really well.
    My dad is an INTJ abusive ******* but I get along so so well with TJs of all types. I dated a couple ENFPs and I HATED IT (had some great enfp friends though) I had a controlling really condecending one who was confinced he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I find myself opening up to NTs more than anyone though.

  3. #53
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    So, what about NX's?
    When I find an NT it doesn't work out and when I find and NF it doesn't work out.

  4. #54
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    Interesting how T's seem to be the prevalent types involved in abusive relationships in this thread.

    I am also dating eNTj and we get along so well because of the abstract communication, and because we have so much fun together and trust each other implicitly. He's attracted by my enthusiastic save-the-world ambitions and I'm attracted to his preoccupation with knowledge and truth. I may have been lucky to find one that's sensitive and communicates his feelings so well, but I can definitely see why their intellectualism can be intimidating to FPs. I still can't stand to be around him when he's with his NT friends because I get overwhelmed by their conversation.

    My only other relationship was with an iNTx but he was in high school and had some other problems, since there are so many other variables I'm still not sure if it would have worked out in the long run...we had great chemistry though!

    Until I met my current boyfriend I would always have described my ideal as NF, and it's true that even recently I had to overcome the temptation of a very intuitive ENFP. But I definitely have an NF-NT pattern.

    Interestingly, a few years ago I developed a (non romantic) relationship with an NT that I considered abusive, because he was obtuse to my vulnerability in friendships and the immediate trust I placed in individuals I feel I connect with. He's pretty introverted and I've come to the conclusion he'd just never had any experience with an ENFJ, and always used to condescend to my enthusiasm or faith in humanity. I remember he said something quite insensitive once that brought me to tears, and he was genuinely surprised and contrite. I like to examine the relationship I had and still have with him...we communicate by email, which makes it easier on the both of us I'm sure :P

  5. #55
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    I find that I love NTs.. We get on so well... But I think that often they can come off as harsh or cruel to those who communicate differently.. As with all relationships you have to bridge that gap somehow... You can view this miscommunication both positively and negatvely ... as something that causes to many problems or the thing that adds a sparkle to your relationship... I'm a born optimist so I like to veer on the side of the latter But interesting thread.. almost like asking is N in common bigger than F and T apart!? Interesting
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  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperFob View Post
    NT's? Hmmmm, I dunno. I'd like to have them as friends, but I'm not sure about an NT as a romantic partner. The thing about me is that I would really need to feel loved and find a partner willing to show me plenty of affection in our relationship (that's not the only thing I look for, obviously, but it's important for me), and I can't imagine an NT giving that as much as an F. Then again, I don't have any experience with an NT, so maybe I'm wrong on this?

    Personally, I would like to be with an NFP.
    I'm married to an INTP. He is more than happy to shower me with love and affection. He wears his heart on his sleeve with me.

  7. #57
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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  8. #58
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    I'd be convinced that my INTJ ex was 100% T, except for the small issue that she got very easily offended. As in, she could dish it out--all too easily--but she couldn't take it. She was abrasive and critical toward me in front of other people, and I just let it slide. But if I disagreed with anything she had to say, even about my own behaviors, she'd take it personally. I already had the tendency to fear making mistakes, but, well, being with someone who points them out so easily didn't help matters for me.

    We're both pretty independent people, but she's so independent that she was able to make the decision to end the relationship without my input, naturally "knowing" what I must be thinking as well. But she's also proud of the fact that she's ended every relationship that she's been in, so at least she was able to maintain that "winning streak" :rolli:

    After we broke up, she said that I was the only friend that she had.. and a part of me felt bad for her, so I really tried to be her friend after that. She just shrugged me off and cut me out of her life altogether, and now she's wondering why I'm not friendly toward her now that she wants me to be.

    Half of that relationship consisted of me wanting to stab myself in the head. I guess given my parents' horrible marriage, I thought that's what a relationship was supposed to be like, until I found one that was mutually supportive.

    So, yeah. I need a balanced individual as a partner, one who can "speak" both F and T, but mostly F. I wouldn't mind a xNTP, either, but I'd rather someone who shares my humanitarian and sentimental streak. If that comes with a NT, great. But I don't see it working with a NT if that common element isn't there.

    If INTJ is supposed to be my best match, just go ahead and castrate me now, 'cause it's not gonna work

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    I'd be convinced that my INTJ ex was 100% T, except for the small issue that she got very easily offended. As in, she could dish it out--all too easily--but she couldn't take it. She was abrasive and critical toward me in front of other people, and I just let it slide. But if I disagreed with anything she had to say, even about my own behaviors, she'd take it personally. I already had the tendency to fear making mistakes, but, well, being with someone who points them out so easily didn't help matters for me.

    We're both pretty independent people, but she's so independent that she was able to make the decision to end the relationship without my input, naturally "knowing" what I must be thinking as well. But she's also proud of the fact that she's ended every relationship that she's been in, so at least she was able to maintain that "winning streak" :rolli:

    After we broke up, she said that I was the only friend that she had.. and a part of me felt bad for her, so I really tried to be her friend after that. She just shrugged me off and cut me out of her life altogether, and now she's wondering why I'm not friendly toward her now that she wants me to be.

    Half of that relationship consisted of me wanting to stab myself in the head. I guess given my parents' horrible marriage, I thought that's what a relationship was supposed to be like, until I found one that was mutually supportive.

    So, yeah. I need a balanced individual as a partner, one who can "speak" both F and T, but mostly F. I wouldn't mind a xNTP, either, but I'd rather someone who shares my humanitarian and sentimental streak. If that comes with a NT, great. But I don't see it working with a NT if that common element isn't there.

    If INTJ is supposed to be my best match, just go ahead and castrate me now, 'cause it's not gonna work
    That doesn't sound good. I might have had tendencies like that myself... Sorry, about that...Having a balance between thinking and feeling is important. Being too critical is a bad thing, the person shouldn't have done that. I hope that it will get better. You deserve a lot of happiness.

  10. #60
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    May I admit something? I feel like INFPs are the irresistible force. Like they can have whatever/whomever they want because they're so mysterious and strong. I always feel unequal to them.
    Really? I've always thought ENFJs and ENFPs were the irresistible heartthrobs, haha. So I've envious of you, and your easygoing kindness and generosity. Like there's this bright light pulling people to you.

    With regard to NTs, I find they make wonderful friends, but I'd drive one crazy in a relationship. My Fi is off the charts, haha, and I'm terrible at figuring out their dry humor until they roll their eyes. But that's why my NT friends love me.

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