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Thread: NF-NT pairing

  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by *poke* View Post
    I read in David Keirsey's "Please Understand Me II" that the most common marriage pairing for NFs was with NTs, and NTs with NFs.
    Does he actually say this is the most common pairing, as opposed to DK's current idealized pairing for NFs & NTs?

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I think Keirsey had to get to that conclusion or his NF wife wouldn't talk to him anymore. I wouldn't know personally, thought, since I'm not sure I've ever met NT girls.

    Myers has a different approach that seems to work out better. Three letters in common. There were some statistics supporting this in "gifts differing"...
    IIRC this was merely an observation re: average numbers of letters married couples tended to have in common...

  3. #113
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    It makes sense to me. I tend to respect and admire NT men, and I think being with an NF could get boring. SPs are attractive, and I've been with a few, but I don't think that's ideal.

    I think this is all most ideal - but is it really most common?

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    May I admit something? I feel like INFPs are the irresistible force. Like they can have whatever/whomever they want because they're so mysterious and strong. I always feel unequal to them.
    Some of them get away, sadly. 3%? 5%? Not all the women I covet fall for my admittedly overwhelmingly intoxicating charms

  5. #115
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry View Post
    Some of them get away, sadly. 3%? 5%? Not all the women I covet fall for my admittedly overwhelmingly intoxicating charms
    Perhaps if you didn't smell of poo?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Perhaps if you didn't smell of poo?
    And lose the other 95%?

  7. #117
    Junior Member FaithBW's Avatar
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    I'm married to an INTJ. We connected intellectually and I think that's why we're still together. Emotionally, being the feeler that I am, I sometimes find my husband to be a bit distant. He doesn't mean it. I'm beginning to learn that he can't quite help it. It does bother me sometimes though because I come from a family of feelers who always express their love for each other. I'm use to telling my family "I love you." DH does not say it unless I say it first. For him, showing love is taking care of the bills, making sure I'm well taken care of and being supportive of my goals. I'm learning that he shows his love differently than me and I'm slowly starting to learn to be ok with that.

  8. #118
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    I find it hard to stay with NTs. I understand that they express love in different ways and just because it's different to how I express love it doesn't mean it's worth any less. But I was really starved of love and affection for a long while so getting with NTs wasn't a good idea. I was very attracted to them, probably because I saw it as more of a challenge to get them to be affectionate and fluffy with me than it would be with an NF. I do like NF/NT partnerships as I like the contrast and sometimes it is needed. But I'm super feeling, I am totally governed by my heart and I have no logic whatsoever ;P People have argued that's why I should go for NTs, but I find it hard to get used to a different way of expressing love. I feel I have to apologise for being sensitive and I can feel unwanted and unloved. I feel much better with other feelers because I don't feel that I have to explain myself or apologise for the way I am but sometimes two people can be so feeling that in a crisis there is emotional meltdown. So in the long run I think the NT/NF pairing is better than NF/NF, but I find it hard work and extremely stressful. I have left every T I have dated, I couldn't hack it. It's a failing on my part, I need to feel loved and secure which can lead to my partner thinking I am a little too demanding.
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

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