I'm married to an INTJ. We connected intellectually and I think that's why we're still together. Emotionally, being the feeler that I am, I sometimes find my husband to be a bit distant. He doesn't mean it. I'm beginning to learn that he can't quite help it. It does bother me sometimes though because I come from a family of feelers who always express their love for each other. I'm use to telling my family "I love you." DH does not say it unless I say it first. For him, showing love is taking care of the bills, making sure I'm well taken care of and being supportive of my goals. I'm learning that he shows his love differently than me and I'm slowly starting to learn to be ok with that.
I find it hard to stay with NTs. I understand that they express love in different ways and just because it's different to how I express love it doesn't mean it's worth any less. But I was really starved of love and affection for a long while so getting with NTs wasn't a good idea. I was very attracted to them, probably because I saw it as more of a challenge to get them to be affectionate and fluffy with me than it would be with an NF. I do like NF/NT partnerships as I like the contrast and sometimes it is needed. But I'm super feeling, I am totally governed by my heart and I have no logic whatsoever ;P People have argued that's why I should go for NTs, but I find it hard to get used to a different way of expressing love. I feel I have to apologise for being sensitive and I can feel unwanted and unloved. I feel much better with other feelers because I don't feel that I have to explain myself or apologise for the way I am but sometimes two people can be so feeling that in a crisis there is emotional meltdown. So in the long run I think the NT/NF pairing is better than NF/NF, but I find it hard work and extremely stressful. I have left every T I have dated, I couldn't hack it. It's a failing on my part, I need to feel loved and secure which can lead to my partner thinking I am a little too demanding.