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[ENFP] Have you ever experienced BPD?

miss fortune

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I am bipolar (though not an ENFP)... I take my meds as directed and I go to therapy every couple of weeks and still cannot manage to get things completely under control. I'm better than I was off my meds, which isn't that hard to do I suppose, but I'm still not normal. I want to be normal. I'm on my 17th med change in about a year and a half now just trying to find something that works... and by this point I've gone through just about everything with the milder side effects.

I don't tend to tell people that I am because I don't like pity and I don't like to be regarded with distrust and fear just because of something I can't control. I don't trust myself though and have to ask myself from time to time "am I making this decision because of me or because of the state I'm currently in?"... a lot of second guessing myself and doubting myself and fearing myself, so I can't really blame others for their reactions. I do put a lot of effort into not letting it affect others because that isn't fair to them... I tend to retreat socially when having problems and I usually post and mod very little on here as well at those times... it's not other people's faults so why should they have to pay for it? :huh:

so yeah... there's that...
 

Doctor Cringelord

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Does extreme BPD or Bipolar Psychosis make ENFPs' Ne go into overdrive?
 

prplchknz

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Does extreme BPD or Bipolar Psychosis make ENFPs' Ne go into overdrive?
Though not bipolar and only INFP when I'm in psychosis i think my ne does go into over drive but thats looking back so i could be wrong. I'm schizoaffective i just get "blessed" with suicidal depression and psychosis. No mania for me.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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Though not bipolar and only INFP when I'm in psychosis i think my ne does go into over drive but thats looking back so i could be wrong. I'm schizoaffective i just get "blessed" with suicidal depression and psychosis. No mania for me.

Would be curious to get your perspective as someone who has dealt with psychosis, at some point. I am currently dealing with someone who seems to be experiencing many signs of psychosis. It hasn't been easy but I want to help them cope with it rather than watch them just spiral out of control. It's quite stressful and terrifying.
 

prplchknz

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Would be curious to get your perspective as someone who has dealt with psychosis, at some point. I am currently dealing with someone who seems to be experiencing many signs of psychosis. It hasn't been easy but I want to help them cope with it rather than watch them just spiral out of control. It's quite stressful and terrifying.
When i get internet back I'll pm you. Its a bitch to type from phone
 

kotoshinohaisha

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Yep it helped. But only so much it can do. Theres a reason why... there are so many people out there with mental illnesses who are either untreated or- undertreated. And its because its hard. It is a constant fight with yourself/your hrain- every day. And sometimes... because of various things including- fear of stigma- medication reactions- lack of funs- medication just... not being effective enough(it doesnt always- or I think even usually- fix everything)- just general frustration- you lose the upper hand.

Theres a reason why its an illness- and thats because it pervades so many aspects- most every aspect- of a persons life. Like being full of red and blue wires- connecting everything together- and not always being sure which ones to cut. Its scary. Which will help if pulled and which will cause you to just- blow the fuck up.

Anyways. What Im trying to say- its not always a quick fix. Or a mind over matter thing. I wish it was- but its just more complicated than that.

But yes Ive done CBT and it has helped. But even still- Im not cured or anything and I will always struggle in some ways that are just part of... a part of my brain chemistry that try as I might I can never truly- really change.

Anyways. I dont mean to be preachy. Its just... this stuff is serious. It effects me a great deal. So I feel like- I just need to post about it and just... yeah. Say what I feel needs to be said. No one would choose to have a mental illness- because its full of what ifs and self blame and just- confusion and pain. Of trying but failing and then feeling bad- like you just arent trying enough. That you never will be able to try hard enough. I dunno.

I dunno man.

You make interesting threads.
But have you tried religion? Like for me being a Christian greatly helps.. I have bipolar too and I've been in the stage where i feel hopeless and it seems like there's no cure for it.
 

Norrsken

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Not an ENFP, but I had serious suspicions before that I am a BPD sufferer. I was instead diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD due to trauma.
I would not be surprised, though, if the possibility of BPD is real and that I am still just undiagnosed for the time being.
 

Redbone

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I was dx'd with it once but I don't have it. I haven't taken meds for years. I do suffer from chronic depression so I think that this contrasted with my happier/upbeat self probably looked like BPD to a doctor. I'm sure I come off as cyclothymic at the very least.
 

Redbone

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Does extreme BPD or Bipolar Psychosis make ENFPs' Ne go into overdrive?

I think bipolar psychosis will trigger a 'flight of ideas' in anyone regardless of type. Just this stream of unconnected, flowing thoughts, ideas, and actions. It's disturbing to see. Like a mental artesian well going off.

If you know someone dealing with this and it's truly BPD psychosis, they need medical help to abort this.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I think bipolar psychosis will trigger a 'flight of ideas' in anyone regardless of type. Just this stream of unconnected, flowing thoughts, ideas, and actions. It's disturbing to see. Like a mental artesian well going off.

If you know someone dealing with this and it's truly BPD psychosis, they need medical help to abort this.

Delusions of grandeur and extreme paranoia are what I am seeing. Everything is connected in their mind as part of some conspiracy to ruin them. No appeal to logic or presentation of evidence to the contrary seems to have much effect.

To some extent I can relate to the web this person is seeing in their mind. I see a web of ideas and possibilities in my own mind, the difference is that they're just possibilities and I like to think I have a firm grasp of reality whereas this person thinks it's all real and they don't seem capable of being able to parse the conclusions at which they're arriving from the data that is leading them to these conclusions, even when logically I can see that they are falsely coming to these conclusions of doom and gloom scenarios. It's very difficult to watch happening to this person.

It's also having a negative effect on my own health, as I am prone to anxiety at times. Sometimes their conclusions and conspiracy webs can seem very convincing, initially, until I have taken time to sit and logically think about the whole thing, then the logic holes (and often evidence) becomes apparent and I realize they're still delusional.
 

Frosty

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Delusions of grandeur and extreme paranoia are what I am seeing. Everything is connected in their mind as part of some conspiracy to ruin them. No appeal to logic or presentation of evidence to the contrary seems to have much effect.

To some extent I can relate to the web this person is seeing in their mind. I see a web of ideas and possibilities in my own mind, the difference is that they're just possibilities and I like to think I have a firm grasp of reality whereas this person thinks it's all real and they don't seem capable of being able to parse the conclusions at which they're arriving from the data that is leading them to these conclusions, even when logically I can see that they are falsely coming to these conclusions of doom and gloom scenarios. It's very difficult to watch happening to this person.

It's also having a negative effect on my own health, as I am prone to anxiety at times. Sometimes their conclusions and conspiracy webs can seem very convincing, initially, until I have taken time to sit and logically think about the whole thing, then the logic holes (and often evidence) becomes apparent and I realize they're still delusional.

Ive been psychotic in the past. For me, it was like- I had just so many thoughts going on in my head- that they would run together- or... it was hard to follow them. Like a one car with 50 different roads going 50 different places- and then you have to actually... somehow- figure out where you 'need' to go. And then there was frustration. When there is so much going on inside your head- anything additional just feels- at least to me- incredibly confusing and overstimulating. It got to a point where... I was terrified to leave the house because I would see someone grin and all those thoughs would come- 'why are they grinning?'- do they want to hurt me. Yes? No? How do I know? I feel scared. I feel terrified. And now they are looking at me. They definitely want to hurt me. Maybe this is connected to that other guy who looked at me yesterday. Maybe they are in on it together? That doesnt make sense. Why would they want to hurt me? But Im terrified. And how can I KNOW they dont want to hurt me? Do they? Dont they? It feels like they do. Im so scared now it feels like they do. They probably had a meeting where they decided they were going to stare at me. They are watching me because they are deciding how to hurt me. Maybe they are communicating somehow telepathically? But thats not possible? Are they arent they. They probably arent but Im not sure... I can emotionally feel safe.

Time to go now. Way too scared. Why cant I figure this out. Im so fucking stupid. Such a freak.

All those thoughts happening in about 3 seconds. Just constant constant confusion.

With me. It was like... logically I knew certain things were unlikely... but emotionally... I just couldnt... well. Emotionally I felt pulled in a lot of different directions.

Im lucky I had a friend who I would sometimes call who would occasionally go- no thats not happening eskimo. So helpful. Maybe you could ask her if you could be that person. Guide her out of... confusion. Say you realize its scary but you promise promise all you want to do is help. Dont... minimize her beliefs. But just let her talk about them and then maybe... try to... direct her without judgement.

Its scary. No one wants to be in that state. I know you are having a hard time but also remember- no matter how frustrating to you... its probably just as or more frustrating for that person. Constantly feeling lost with a compass that plays tricks on you... is incredibly frustrating and scary. She doesnt want probably to feel/be the way she does. She might even feel bad about it. So its best to try to be supportive rather than... condemning.

The not being able to listen to logic... it never really was that. It was more. Ive described this before. Feeling like there is a gun on me- like there is something THERE- realizing that there probably isnt a gun- but it FEELS like there is something there. And people trying to go through and 'help with logic'- its almost frustrating because... its like you KNOW that there probably isnt something there but you cant just dismiss the terror of the suggestion of that gun. And having people telling you its not there feels- even if this isnt the case- that they are judging you for feeling something you already feel stupid feeling... And you feel so alone.

So. My suggestion. Help her and try to be as least judgemental as possible. Follow her logic and not your own if possible to try to help.

Anyways. Best of luck to you. This sounds hard but I know you are strong enough.
 

hpdean

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Borderline personality disorder and Bipolar disorder are very different (while they do present similarly), and if you're going to make a post about severe mental illness like that, maybe do a bit of research first, rather than saying something that could really come across as rude & hurtful to people with personality disorders.

One is serious and the other one very happy like you're on drugs?

And then, has this happened to you?

Someone liked you on your serious state, but when he seen the high energy state he's got turned off? XD


Neither borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder make you "two different people", though they are both disorders that mess with emotional regulation and can cause extreme mood swings which can feel very varied and different from each other. What you are describing when you say: "happy like you're on drugs" is mania, one of the emotional states of bipolar disorder. In bipolar disorder, you alternate between feeling depressed (depressive state) and feeling mania (manic state). In borderline personality disorder, you can have emotional disregulation that occurs differently, and involves more, and different states of emotional being.

NIMH >> Borderline Personality Disorder = information on borderline personality disorder
NIMH >> Bipolar Disorder = information on bipolar disorder

There is something to be said about the connection of personality disorders and personality tests. For example, I have histrionic personality disorder (which is similar to borderline personality disorder) and many of the traits associated with my personality type are also connected to my disorder. I do not believe this would be the case for bipolar disorder though, since it is not personality related.
 

hpdean

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Does extreme BPD or Bipolar Psychosis make ENFPs' Ne go into overdrive?

Why are you acting like Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are the same thing? They fall under two different categories.
If anything, the disorders that are closest in relation the Borderline Personality Disorder (other than the simplicity of how it presents) are other Cluster B Personality Disorders.

To answer your question though, as an ENFP w/ Histrionic Personality Disorder, I would say all the regular ENFP traits are emphasized and put on mega-drive.
 

VILLANELLE

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ENFJ here. I.. think I have. I'm not really sure because, like, I've never had a diagnosis of any kind, but a diagnosis doesn't negate or remove someone's experience with something. I personally have dealt with a lot of imagined abandonment, and mostly anxiety. It's probably all mostly anxiety for me, but I definitely, sadly get a lot of black and white thinking and anger. It's definitely changed my relationships.. or maybe they've just changed as I've aged, I'm not sure.
 
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