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[ENFP] Uh oh ... depression!

takeheart

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ENFP
Oh, yes, I'm sure this a topic NFs dread hearing about. You're probably groaning or rolling your eyes right now. But I need help!

NFs: What makes you sad? What makes you feel absolutely miserable? What could - or has - plunged you into depression?

I'm 19. I've had depression for several years, but I was only diagnosed two days ago because I finally sought help. I think I'm an ENFP and every test I take tells me so, but this illness has had such a warping effect on my personality and self-perception that I can only tell from comparing the type descriptions to how I act when I'm happy/when I'm being a clown to hide the problem. It's kind of hard to believe you're a bright, spontaneous fountain of humor and joy when you feel dead on the inside, y'know? I might be an INFP. Dunno! There's a lot of information about INFPs and depression, but none about ENFPs!

What could drive each type to despair, especially ENFPs?
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
A lack of regular meaningful accomplishment can send me into a downward spiral.
 

Reisende

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ENXP
I agree that a lack of accomplishments can lead to feeling down, even depression. And feeling depressed hides the ENFPs better qualities. I find on top a lack of professional accomplishments that a lack of social contact (having few friends) and trying to improve your life but still being in the same place brings me down. I do all the same things that work for other people but that doesn't give me the same success that they have. Without knowing what is bring you down I cannot say whether or not professional help will help; for my problems I would doubt it would. "Happy pills" are no the solution to having a life that lacks success and social contact. I have heard a lack of ideas/options (being stuck in a rut) and continuous rejection can lead an ENFP to depression. I am still trying to find a way out of that situation, so I cannot help with any ideas...
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
If you're torn between I/Enfp, I'd say you're 100% ENFP from your tone in this one post (we tend to be less social than most extroverts, so our "E" score tends to be lower). ENFPs also tend to be bipolar (not literally). You could describe it as shifting between Ne dominant hyper dude(ette) and Fi dominant existential angsty dude(tte)

The stuff that depresses me are: Boredom. Excess stress (there's a threshold beyond which I break down and become a vegetable). and....boredom. Really, if I don't have an outlet for my energy, I get depressed.

Oh yes, and welcome to MBTIc takeheart! :cheers:
 

edcoaching

New member
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
752
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
7
We found some common patterns in what depresses ENFPs...
  • Having to face a big problem./tragedy alone
  • When some crisis forces them to focus on details and they lose track of what's important (might be finances in job loss for example)
  • When in spite of everything they try a relationship they value tanks
  • When a crisis throws them into a frenzy of activity and they completely overdo it, unaware of the Si lens of impact on their physical self
  • When they feel all out of options

Many ENFPs find they need to develop a meditative/yoga/retreat practice to recover. If they really feel out of options, they really need help from outside--not necessarily professional help but at least deep conversations with trusted friends or colleagues to get the thinking unstuck. Then self-care--healthy eating, walking or other exercise, massage, etc--are key to returning to balance.
 

Into It

New member
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
664
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm an ENFP with depression also. It doesn't "take anything" to "trigger" depression, I just wake up and go to bed unsatisfied. Like you, I have felt this way for many years. (Didn't you say that?) If your problem is severe, an antidepressant is an answer. If this is what your doctor recommends, you may find yourself fitting the ENFP description better..
 

edcoaching

New member
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
752
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
7
I'm an ENFP with depression also. It doesn't "take anything" to "trigger" depression, I just wake up and go to bed unsatisfied. Like you, I have felt this way for many years. (Didn't you say that?) If your problem is severe, an antidepressant is an answer. If this is what your doctor recommends, you may find yourself fitting the ENFP description better..

Your perspective here is really key--ongoing dissatisfaction is great reason to seek professional help and antidepressants can help. But if ENFPs aren't constantly deluged in this way then there seem to be patterns to the triggers as well as patterns to the self-care one could try before--or with--medication.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
takeheart, I'm not an ENFP, but on so many levels I can relate to your situation. I constantly have to battle recurrent bouts of depression, and almost anything can trigger them. Certainly one trigger that has been bothering me lately is the frustration and exhaustion I receive from my line of work. Of course there's other factors as well, too many to list off hand.

I will agree with edcoaching that talking deeply about the issue with a trusted colleague helps big time. I've had plenty of experiences with ENFPs to know this, but it could easily apply to NF's in general. I know INFJs often need to vent about their problems in order to help get them of their chests.

All in all, be strong. Already there's quite a few people who have taken interest in your situation, and are willing to help. You can count me among them. :)

Being the Catholic that I am: I'll even be willing to say a prayer to Our Lady of Sorrows on your behalf, if you wish.
 

Travo7

New member
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
112
MBTI Type
IN??
Enneagram
IDK
Depression. Why do I suddenly feel at home? :cry:

Everything seems to be futile when depression is at it's worse, you know? It's as if the universe is in a constant degenerative downward spiral, where everything seems to be a vain struggle with decompostion/decay/destruction.

Personally, depression comes when there is too much stress in relationships, a tragic event (which may not be so tragic in reality), feeling completely misunderstood, having frustrated plans, and definitely when anxiety limits my ability to carry out my life goals/plans leaving me with a tremendous sense of meaningless/pointlessness.

I've been strugling with anxious depression for years. It's hard to know if the depression triggered the anxiety or vice versa.

God, this is a depressing post. :D
 

edcoaching

New member
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
752
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
7
I will agree with edcoaching that talking deeply about the issue with a trusted colleague helps big time. I've had plenty of experiences with ENFPs to know this, but it could easily apply to NF's in general. I know INFJs often need to vent about their problems in order to help get them of their chests.

Yeah...INFJs are more likely to go to a stack of books or the Web to figure out a solution than to God forbid ask for help, and we don't quite always have the resources to solve it ourselves.

Work can easily overwhelm because we a)think everyone is on the same side and are jolted when that turns out not to be true and b) really think we can do something significant if we just keep at it...
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
Yeah...INFJs are more likely to go to a stack of books or the Web to figure out a solution than to God forbid ask for help, and we don't quite always have the resources to solve it ourselves.

ROTFL! Yes that's my usual course of action when I'm depressed.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
Sorry to hear about that, first of all.

I definitely had 2 points of time in my life where I was depressed. I can look back on them now and be able to tell.. I couldn't then. I probably would have saved myself a LOT of frustration and pain by reaching out for help, but as depression monsters tend to go, you're unaware you need help for a long time.. and aren't sure you're worth the effort to do so even if you discover it. So congrats on taking that step, it's an important one and there ARE people capable of building you up back up.

My depression was situational both times.. as in, something dramatic happened that forced me into it, it didn't grow on me overtime.. but sometimes I think the latter way might be worse.. there's nothing obvious and sudden to trigger it, so you're lost to any explanations or rationality as to why this or that is going on.

The good news is depression is definitely treatable, so I encourage you to reach out and seek support and continue to accept help.. there's no shame in being helped, and it took me a long time coming for my stubborn ass to learn that lesson. Just to know other people have gone through similar things and overcame them gives you a sense of hope.

Keep striving for it!
 

takeheart

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ENFP
Details, details!

Wow, thanks for all of the responses! I wasn't expecting so many so soon! :wubbie:

I ask what can "trigger" it because there was a point I hit a couple of years ago where all of my walls and facades crumbled and the depression began to seep in and slowly grow. I was completely unaware of it up to that point - I thought I was strong, confident, well-adjusted ... but I was just lying to myself.

The "trigger" was the realization that I'm a complete doormat, that I can't overcome it, and that I couldn't stop anyone from being bad. That I was powerless in the face of selfishness and cruelty. That I couldn't be Superwoman. That screwed me up SO BADLY that I'm sure a non-Idealist would think I was pathetic, but it's true!

Then it was compounded by a lack of achievement and real knowledge of what I'm capable of. I've done nothing, so I guess I'm capable of nothing right now. I want to be special. I want to stand out. I want attention and I want to feel valuable and important! And that's really the crux of it - I want to be liked, I want to be popular, I want to have best friends and I want to feel like people care about me. I'm not getting that right now, and it makes me feel like maybe ... I don't really exist. I'm an outsider looking in and that will never be enough. Loneliness is what finally drove me to a place where I knew I needed help.

So I feel like I'm wasting my life and have yet to actually do anything, least of all plunge in and actually live a meaningful life. I may be 19, but most 13 year olds have lived more than I have! :cry:

These are the thoughts that I batter myself with when I can't get out of of my own head.

Thanks for your concern, everyone. And I hope all of you who are also stuck in the abyss find your way out soon - or find someone to lift you out. :heart:
 

SuperFob

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Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
264
MBTI Type
INFJ
I've been depressed for a while. That's bad because I'm a guy who uses inspiration as a fuel, and it's hard to feel inspired when you're depressed.

Why am I depressed? It's pretty complicated and I don't feel like listing all the details. Let's just say that my life has been a constant whirlwind of failure, disappointment, and me doing what other people tell me to. The constant stress of school and loneliness over the past few years finally pushed me off the cliff.
 

Jack Flak

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Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
MBTI Type
type
Gadammit, I hate it when ENFs are sad. *destroys the room* :D
 

SuperFob

New member
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
264
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah...INFJs are more likely to go to a stack of books or the Web to figure out a solution than to God forbid ask for help, and we don't quite always have the resources to solve it ourselves.
That's been pretty much the only solution for me. With the exception of certain NF's (of whom I've only really met a couple, both psychologists, who are trying to help me out right now), people in general can't understand my feelings when I reveal them. Any NT I talk to either acts like I'm making a big deal out of nothing, refusing to believe that I can react the way I do emotionally to certain things, or they act like my emotions are something that can be controlled and switched on and off like the lights in my house. When it comes to the S's I've met and tried to talk to, they simply don't have the capacity to understand my situation.

So, I've mostly tried to just deal with things on my own :cheese:
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
Well Takeheart. I would have told you that I spent a great deal of my life not living it, something I take pride in ammending everyday, and that now you see the problem the only plausible step is a solution.. but *Somebody* destroyed the room.
 

Nighthawk

New member
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
423
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm an INTP who has suffered from depression on and off. Sometimes quite badly. Most of mine hinges around the mundane repetition in life and job ... hence my desire to mix things up and job-hop a lot. I'm usually energized and happy the first year or so in a job. Then it all becomes a repetitive chore and I sink into depression ... especially when management tries to enforce schedules and arbitrary rules.

I just came off of 3 years on cymbalta, and have been struggling to stay on an even keel. I tend to self-medicate with alcohol, so I have to be careful there. So far, it is working out better than I expected. I'd like to remain off of anti-depressants for good, since I'm already taking meds for various other ailments.

I wish I had the magic answer, but I don't. Sometimes you can overcome it through sheer force of will alone. Sometimes a change of environment helps. Sometimes, however, I feel that pharmaceutical intervention is necessary for the more serious cases. I know that is probably controversial, but it is just my personal view.
 
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