supercalifragilistic
New member
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2017
- Messages
- 8
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
Dear you all,
I'm an ENFP girl. Hellooo INFJ cuties ! I discovered it 2 years ago and since I passed the test, I love to read about my personality (and knowing that I'm not alone, haha). I've been through a lot of posts here but never got the courage to write about my crush story. As I've tried to analyse my situation from other problems, in vain. I decided that's officially time to get the job done and ask for help/opinions/jokes/tissues. I apologize for my english and for anyone who would fall asleep reading those words. It's a year to resume sooooo... Good luck !
I made a new group of friends a year ago when I moved in in a new country. One of them was a total weirdo for me and I enjoyed kidding him. I immediately noticed he was clever so I wanted to know more about him. As a group, we were going out and getting drunk and have fun, but I rarely could see him alone. He told me he enjoyed being alone and unlike me he doesn't feel the rush to be socialize. For an ENFP you can imagine how weird I though it was ! I was intrigued. We talked a lot on internet. Late conversation about nothing and everything, a lot about movies since he loves cinema. Our relationship was really cool. I made him take the test and it came as an INFJ. After a night out and a lot of alcohol, we made out but none of us really remember it. (I kind of woke up naked in bed and though that drunk me, took a shower). I was chocked because that's really not me. I don't make out with people/friend even when I'm drunk and I really didn't understand why him... I was trying to get over a breakup (6 years), starting a new life abroad and love interest wasn't on the menu. But we joked about it and agreed to never bring the subject back since it was meaningful and good friends. We continued our talks and our nights out and everything were fine. But I felt we're getting closer and couldn't stop wondering why him that night, and eventually be forced to admit to myself that I probably had a crush on him.
He was invited to diner at my place with another friend who showed up 3 hours late. So it was the two of us and I really enjoyed it. He left to home and my friends and I went to party. I was so bored that I started to thing that it would have been so much better with him. I went home and confess to him "I think I like you" and he replied by a joke, saying like everybody likes him, he's so cool. I didn't really know if it was a "thanks, but no thanks" or if he didn't take my spontaneous declaration seriously. Whatever, I said it. Your turn dude.
For his birthday night, he went out with other friends but I was out too. He was calling me to know where I was, I was calling him until we got to my place. I gave him a gift I made him and the rest is somewhere lost in my drink. We slept together. Next morning when we woke up he left in a hurry saying that it won't happen again. Ouch, no talks, no cuddles. What the hell ? He texted me to let me know he told our friends that he dropped me home last night and went back to his friends. The rest, he didn't want to talk about it. Ok... Then he became really distant.
We went on holidays together and I think he tried to hook up with me (drunk) and friends told us that when I was dancing on a podium he went to take me out of it like I was his. Weird. In another hand, I remember asking him to kiss me, but he didn't want to. Fine. Nothing really relevant. Two month after, I ran into him at a party. After telling me about a girl he just saw at the bar, he decided that I ruined his chances because I was here around him. I said that I have nothing to do with it and that he could feel free to go after her. Nope. He decided he wanted to go home, my place and sleep in the sofa because it's more convenient for him that going to his friend's. He couldn't stop telling to him that "we're friends, I'm just going to sleep in the sofa, don't worry, we good friends" like he wanted to convince himself. No need to say he didn't sleep in the sofa and immediately jumped into my bed. Drunk naked stuff again. The weird part was when the next morning, sobre, he wanted a second round. It was weird and not the great one. Then he left saying that it won't happen again. Rude. Again. But every time I wanted to speak with him about us, he didn't want to. Then started the drunk calls to come to my place, to kiss me, to call me love, to touch me... to get in my bed and leave like an asshole, as usual.
From my point of view I knew he was an awkward introvert and probably inexperienced so I didn't want to pressure him. I was waiting for our relationship to slowly evolve as a friend with benefit relationship. But when came the time for me to call him to see if he wanted to spend a night with me, I got a negative answer and no answer when I said "so you can call me up drunk but I can't do the same, sobre ?". OK... That's when I decided to stop that shit and go on with my life. Friendship it is and friendship it will be : I was determined to start 2017 without hooking up with someone who apparently just wanted to play with me. But ironically, We lost our friends on the new year's eve so we ended up, the two of us alone. I remember saying to him that I didn't want to continue that bullshit because he didn't really like me and didn't really respect me. That tomorrow it will pretend nothing ever happened and so on. He recused all my accusations and alcohol took the lead and well... You know. He pretended that night I was he girlfriend no strangers, he asked me if I wanted to move out to the capital when he'll find a job, lovely stuffs. Next morning completely ignoring me and spent the day bragging about girls, speaking about one with who he was supposed to go that night and horrible sexist, childish things. He even called the girl in front of us to know if he could go there that night. I was hallucinating. My heart broke but I couldn't say anything since no one really knew our little private parties. He'll tell me later that he found a bit strange that I was next to him when he woke up since he doesn't remember much of our night.
A month later without any news from him I decided to send a letter (9 pages about all the crap happened between us). It was a desperate letter from a rejected girl, but an explanation of all the situations we got into, his behavior and my feelings. I told him like I did right now, how mix signals all this was for me and that it's not ok to act like that with a girl, even more with a friend. But maybe we never really been friends, I asked.
He replied by tones of apologies. He apparently had no idea he was hurting me. He told me that I knew him already, and that a huge part of his actions are self protection. He said he never wanted to be a source of pain for anyone and hurting me never was his purpose even if he knows that it can be rude and stupid sometimes. He said that I deserve to be happy and that he can give that happiness to me because I'm awesome and he doesn't deserve an awesome girl like me. He said he doesn't have the emotional capacity to be intimate, but maybe one day... he said. He told me he never really dated, maybe one month or two maximum, he can't speak about an ex girlfriend or a first love, it never had this experience. He values a lot my friendship and my person and doesn't want us to stop talking. He thinks that the fact he likes being alone is to protect himself. Maybe to not get attached to someone or to not hurt feelings. But is not really sure about it. He said that I should interpret it the way I want but it won't extend further. If I wanted to stay on a terrible image of him, I could and after reading my text I had all the rights to do so. He never answer to any question about his feelings. Like "did you like me", "was it your heart speaking or the alcohol", "could it be any girl or was I special to you". He avoided all of that kind of questions.
I replied nicely and encouraged him as a friend to open up to the world even if it won't be with me. I said I would need some time to heal. I didn't get all the answers I wanted but at least I had apologies and I can move on. Even if sometimes I wonder why. Why he didn't at least try ? Why he's so bipolar when sober/drunk, virtual/irl ? Why he said he didn't deserve a girl like me. I saw him for the first time last weekend for a night out. It was really in a good mood and teased me a lot. A lot of eyes contact, a lot of big smiles, he put his head on my shoulder when we were sitting, I felt he wanted to get closer. And I'm also feeling that I'm back to crushing.
Do you think there is something up ? That he could be lying about his true feelings ?
Do you think I'm crazy and need to accept that he doesn't like me ?
Any tips, any help ?
I told you it was long and boring... Sorry again !
I'm an ENFP girl. Hellooo INFJ cuties ! I discovered it 2 years ago and since I passed the test, I love to read about my personality (and knowing that I'm not alone, haha). I've been through a lot of posts here but never got the courage to write about my crush story. As I've tried to analyse my situation from other problems, in vain. I decided that's officially time to get the job done and ask for help/opinions/jokes/tissues. I apologize for my english and for anyone who would fall asleep reading those words. It's a year to resume sooooo... Good luck !
I made a new group of friends a year ago when I moved in in a new country. One of them was a total weirdo for me and I enjoyed kidding him. I immediately noticed he was clever so I wanted to know more about him. As a group, we were going out and getting drunk and have fun, but I rarely could see him alone. He told me he enjoyed being alone and unlike me he doesn't feel the rush to be socialize. For an ENFP you can imagine how weird I though it was ! I was intrigued. We talked a lot on internet. Late conversation about nothing and everything, a lot about movies since he loves cinema. Our relationship was really cool. I made him take the test and it came as an INFJ. After a night out and a lot of alcohol, we made out but none of us really remember it. (I kind of woke up naked in bed and though that drunk me, took a shower). I was chocked because that's really not me. I don't make out with people/friend even when I'm drunk and I really didn't understand why him... I was trying to get over a breakup (6 years), starting a new life abroad and love interest wasn't on the menu. But we joked about it and agreed to never bring the subject back since it was meaningful and good friends. We continued our talks and our nights out and everything were fine. But I felt we're getting closer and couldn't stop wondering why him that night, and eventually be forced to admit to myself that I probably had a crush on him.
He was invited to diner at my place with another friend who showed up 3 hours late. So it was the two of us and I really enjoyed it. He left to home and my friends and I went to party. I was so bored that I started to thing that it would have been so much better with him. I went home and confess to him "I think I like you" and he replied by a joke, saying like everybody likes him, he's so cool. I didn't really know if it was a "thanks, but no thanks" or if he didn't take my spontaneous declaration seriously. Whatever, I said it. Your turn dude.
For his birthday night, he went out with other friends but I was out too. He was calling me to know where I was, I was calling him until we got to my place. I gave him a gift I made him and the rest is somewhere lost in my drink. We slept together. Next morning when we woke up he left in a hurry saying that it won't happen again. Ouch, no talks, no cuddles. What the hell ? He texted me to let me know he told our friends that he dropped me home last night and went back to his friends. The rest, he didn't want to talk about it. Ok... Then he became really distant.
We went on holidays together and I think he tried to hook up with me (drunk) and friends told us that when I was dancing on a podium he went to take me out of it like I was his. Weird. In another hand, I remember asking him to kiss me, but he didn't want to. Fine. Nothing really relevant. Two month after, I ran into him at a party. After telling me about a girl he just saw at the bar, he decided that I ruined his chances because I was here around him. I said that I have nothing to do with it and that he could feel free to go after her. Nope. He decided he wanted to go home, my place and sleep in the sofa because it's more convenient for him that going to his friend's. He couldn't stop telling to him that "we're friends, I'm just going to sleep in the sofa, don't worry, we good friends" like he wanted to convince himself. No need to say he didn't sleep in the sofa and immediately jumped into my bed. Drunk naked stuff again. The weird part was when the next morning, sobre, he wanted a second round. It was weird and not the great one. Then he left saying that it won't happen again. Rude. Again. But every time I wanted to speak with him about us, he didn't want to. Then started the drunk calls to come to my place, to kiss me, to call me love, to touch me... to get in my bed and leave like an asshole, as usual.
From my point of view I knew he was an awkward introvert and probably inexperienced so I didn't want to pressure him. I was waiting for our relationship to slowly evolve as a friend with benefit relationship. But when came the time for me to call him to see if he wanted to spend a night with me, I got a negative answer and no answer when I said "so you can call me up drunk but I can't do the same, sobre ?". OK... That's when I decided to stop that shit and go on with my life. Friendship it is and friendship it will be : I was determined to start 2017 without hooking up with someone who apparently just wanted to play with me. But ironically, We lost our friends on the new year's eve so we ended up, the two of us alone. I remember saying to him that I didn't want to continue that bullshit because he didn't really like me and didn't really respect me. That tomorrow it will pretend nothing ever happened and so on. He recused all my accusations and alcohol took the lead and well... You know. He pretended that night I was he girlfriend no strangers, he asked me if I wanted to move out to the capital when he'll find a job, lovely stuffs. Next morning completely ignoring me and spent the day bragging about girls, speaking about one with who he was supposed to go that night and horrible sexist, childish things. He even called the girl in front of us to know if he could go there that night. I was hallucinating. My heart broke but I couldn't say anything since no one really knew our little private parties. He'll tell me later that he found a bit strange that I was next to him when he woke up since he doesn't remember much of our night.
A month later without any news from him I decided to send a letter (9 pages about all the crap happened between us). It was a desperate letter from a rejected girl, but an explanation of all the situations we got into, his behavior and my feelings. I told him like I did right now, how mix signals all this was for me and that it's not ok to act like that with a girl, even more with a friend. But maybe we never really been friends, I asked.
He replied by tones of apologies. He apparently had no idea he was hurting me. He told me that I knew him already, and that a huge part of his actions are self protection. He said he never wanted to be a source of pain for anyone and hurting me never was his purpose even if he knows that it can be rude and stupid sometimes. He said that I deserve to be happy and that he can give that happiness to me because I'm awesome and he doesn't deserve an awesome girl like me. He said he doesn't have the emotional capacity to be intimate, but maybe one day... he said. He told me he never really dated, maybe one month or two maximum, he can't speak about an ex girlfriend or a first love, it never had this experience. He values a lot my friendship and my person and doesn't want us to stop talking. He thinks that the fact he likes being alone is to protect himself. Maybe to not get attached to someone or to not hurt feelings. But is not really sure about it. He said that I should interpret it the way I want but it won't extend further. If I wanted to stay on a terrible image of him, I could and after reading my text I had all the rights to do so. He never answer to any question about his feelings. Like "did you like me", "was it your heart speaking or the alcohol", "could it be any girl or was I special to you". He avoided all of that kind of questions.
I replied nicely and encouraged him as a friend to open up to the world even if it won't be with me. I said I would need some time to heal. I didn't get all the answers I wanted but at least I had apologies and I can move on. Even if sometimes I wonder why. Why he didn't at least try ? Why he's so bipolar when sober/drunk, virtual/irl ? Why he said he didn't deserve a girl like me. I saw him for the first time last weekend for a night out. It was really in a good mood and teased me a lot. A lot of eyes contact, a lot of big smiles, he put his head on my shoulder when we were sitting, I felt he wanted to get closer. And I'm also feeling that I'm back to crushing.
Do you think there is something up ? That he could be lying about his true feelings ?
Do you think I'm crazy and need to accept that he doesn't like me ?
Any tips, any help ?
I told you it was long and boring... Sorry again !
