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  1. #1
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    Default When ENFP shuts you down?

    What are some of the reasons an ENFP will shut a particular person down, given the context that offending the ENFP is invalid?
    Last edited by JLiew; 02-08-2017 at 04:49 AM.

  2. #2

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    That's pretty vague. With such little information, all I could guess is that they either don't like you or are depressed. Maybe you can give us more background? Something to work with?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    That's pretty vague. With such little information, all I could guess is that they either don't like you or are depressed. Maybe you can give us more background? Something to work with?
    The ENFP is a coworker of mine. We clicked and got pretty close thereafter. Then, she shut me down out of nowhere. It caught me off guard because we were still good the day before. I addressed my concerns and got a typical "nothing" reply. I realized she was directing at me as time passes because she's still her usual self when she talk to others but will either ignore me or be soft spoken when I tried to converse with her.

    We had a minor argument through text message due to a misunderstanding (rumors spread fast) and I manage to gather that offending her is not the key to this issue. She also admitted that she felt uncomfortable around me, and had no idea why and how it happened. I decided to take it at face value and leave her alone.

    Conversation is inevitable because of work so I only converse with her only when necessary. However, she doesn't show any signs of repulsiveness when I have to talk to her but instead, these are the few reactions she shows:
    > Biting her lips when I made eye contact with her;
    > If not, avoid eye contact completely;
    > Stumbling on her own words;
    > Appearing nervous, building a tension between us instantly;
    > Saying things that doesn't make sense, then criticizing herself for saying stupid things;
    > Soft spoken, or worse ignore me completely.

    Also, I have a case going on in my personal like right now. She seems to be especially concern about it and reprimanded me. The funny thing is, it is a minor issue and even friends that I know for a decade can't be bothered with it.

    I read from other sites that ENFP have a tendency to become an introvert when they have a crush on someone. By the way, I mentioned to her that I don't meddle with workplace affair, so my view on our relationship has always been platonic. She agreed too. So, what gives? I would have deemed her as a passive aggressive individual and burn the bridge if I didn't know her MBTI.

  4. #4

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    @Enthusiastic_Dreamer is an ENFP who may be able to provide you with some insight.

  5. #5

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    @Forever

    Since I can't seem to leave you a visitor message, to answer the question in your rep, no... I don't think that at all.

    @JLiew - Sorry for my short response above, I have been multitasking tonight. I don't have enough insight into the mind of an ENFP since their functions are completely opposite mine and I am still trying to deepen my knowledge and understanding of functions and how they shape our behavior. I do hope you find helpful answers here

    @Enthusiastic_Dreamer has been of much assistance to me and is a great guy, which is why I decided you'd be in better hands with him than myself.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLiew View Post
    What are some of the reasons an ENFP will shut a particular person down, given the context that offending the ENFP is invalid?

    Um...I've gotten myself into a few situations now where I felt routinely nit-picked for much of the same stuff or behaviors/flaws that I imagine most reasonable people would deem relatively equal in nature to that which I'm constantly forgiving and looking past in the other person. And I'll be honest and say that this dynamic does seem more likely to occur with Je than Pe. I blame myself though in many ways. I assume what happens is my inclination to chalk these kinds of things up to *being human in human relationships* and subsequent silence ...sets up a dynamic where the other person actually comes to believe they truly are the more conscientious of us two...that they are the pressed upon and I'm just basking in their perfection on a monthly, weekly, daily basis. And by the time I figure out what I've unintentionally created I often feel the damage is too deep to be undone...it has gone on for far too long and our characters are now set. Once here...and especially if I have tried to make repairs to the relationship...I could see myself saying *fuck it* to anything that resembled all that had come before.
    لا تستطيع كسر المكسور

  7. #7
    2Uniq4u Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    @Forever

    Since I can't seem to leave you a visitor message, to answer the question in your rep, no... I don't think that at all.
    You're always welcome to PM. That's usually what I do.
    Sun: ♈️ Moon: ♓️ Ascendant: ♒️
    obviously you're going to get nothing from reading this

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLiew View Post
    What are some of the reasons an ENFP will shut a particular person down, given the context that offending the ENFP is invalid?
    Sometimes they just get overwhelmed and need to recoup.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    @JLiew - Sorry for my short response above, I have been multitasking tonight. I don't have enough insight into the mind of an ENFP since their functions are completely opposite mine and I am still trying to deepen my knowledge and understanding of functions and how they shape our behavior. I do hope you find helpful answers here
    Thank you very much. Since clarifying with her is pretty much impossible now, I have to look up for possible answers online. The funny thing is, no matter how I search, it has got to do with relationship issues.. Then I remember about MBTI, gave it a shot and found so many new possibilities here. So I'm grateful for whatever I can find here.

  10. #10
    Unapologetically Curious Enthusiastic_Dreamer's Avatar
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    I want to thank @RareBird for her kind words. Unfortunately I've been super busy these past few days but will make an honest effort to get to this before too long.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
    Likes Starry, Peter Deadpan liked this post

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