[INFJ] You know you're an INFJ when...

[SoAndSo]

I wish writing and words, in general, came easy to me so I can stop relying on other people to interpret what I'm trying to say. It's all right there in plain english in my head but writing or speaking what I'm feeling is like a foreign language.

I started a journal as advised by a therapist I went to. I wrote one page and my soon-to-be ex read it and woke me at 3am to argue what I wrote about him (he's ISTJ). It was awful and I doubt I will ever write again. The only security I have is locked inside.

 

[felt up]

I hear you. If I wrote anything THAT personal, it would be all or nothing and I would definitely be worried someone would find and read it.

I kept journals religiously but stopped about two years ago when I realized for millions of years, I've been writing about the same things. Seriously. 16 and 21 and 25 and 40 all looked the same to me. I have tons of journals I have no idea what to do with. As an INFJ, journalling and therapy keeps me connected to the feelings I actually want to DUMP! I mean, who knows what they are feeling better than INFJs?

I know the general consensus is that these activities are good for the growth of any individual, but I believe journalling/therapy is better for types who aren't connected to their feelings so much. For me it feels like I'm rehashing stuff I already know.

I've had many a therapist in my life. I wanted them to tell me something new, zone in on what was wrong with me to explain the life I've lived, something I didn't already know about myself. I wanted it all to be revolutionary, and smart, and life-altering. I never got that. I always came out of sessions feeling I would be a much better therapist than the rote, book-learned, disconnected therapist sitting in front of me.

Wow, I didn't realize my response to this thread would turn into a mini-rant. Oh well...

 

[SoAndSo]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

 

[felt up]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

kmclaughlin, I believe what you experienced would be the NORM for any INFJ. I feel therapy is a waste of time for us. Life-coaching might be a better alternative, since it is more action-based, rather than feeling-based.

Side note:

I just realized why I hate therapists so much. I never felt they respected my individuality & complexities and seem determined to box me in with trite scripts/solutions for my life.

 

[LindseyLadybug]

I have this weird thing with a lot of my writing; I would never want to hear anyone's actual opinion on it, and I kind of wouldn't want to know who has read it. But part of me does want someone to read it, just to kind of get some of this stuff that's trapped inside of me and into the mind and understanding of someone else.
My writing's intensely personal. I draw, and that's personal too, but never on the level of my writing; it's strange how when I write creatively, my soul seems to pour out a little. It tends to be a bit melancholy too...

Yeah, I understand. Some of the things I write...I'm like, "Wow, that sounds so deep! I should include this in a book" but then I realize no one else would understand it. Plus, when I write melancholy things, I fear someone will read it and think I have "issues." Some people just don't get it.

 

[sade]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

I know mine wasn't bad and my life wasn't boring, but mine said the same thing, except asking if the therapy should be quit. And it did feel like a waste of time. I would've preferred advices instead or doing exercises or something action based like felt up said.

 

[SoAndSo]

I knew I wasn't in need of therapy but I was asked to go by the ex who said I was crazy....my life is far from boring and there's alot of messed up shit that I have put up with...I think what I was looking for was someone to force me to say what's in my head in a "safe" environment.

 

[sade]

^ I didn't mean to imply anything, it jumped in accidentally. Sorry...
We do need people to talk to.
For me personally, talking about emotions etc. type of therapy wasn't the best in long run..

 

[SoAndSo]

hehe...I didn't think you were talking about me personally...

 

[sade]

Whoops. I've been like this all day. Completely tired, and not completely sure what I'm talking about. I think I was talking to you.. I've been trying to study for tomorrows exam without giving myself any slack so I'm completely incomphensable to even myself right now.

 

[SoAndSo]

That's okay I'm "working" so I completely understand.

 

[sade]

 

[Kyrielle]

kmclaughlin, I believe what you experienced would be the NORM for any INFJ. I feel therapy is a waste of time for us. Life-coaching might be a better alternative, since it is more action-based, rather than feeling-based.

Side note:

I just realized why I hate therapists so much. I never felt they respected my individuality & complexities and seem determined to box me in with trite scripts/solutions for my life.

I think it might also be because by the time we go to a therapist, and while we know how to fix our problems and we know what's wrong, we do not know if what we feel is normal and if our plan of action is the best one. Maybe we just want someone to validate our feelings. I know whenever things are going horribly wrong I usually need someone to listen to what I'm thinking and feeling so I can get it out of my mind and look at it from another angle.

 

[Travo7]

I kept journals religiously but stopped about two years ago when I realized for millions of years, I've been writing about the same things. Seriously. 16 and 21 and 25 and 40 all looked the same to me. I have tons of journals I have no idea what to do with. As an INFJ, journalling and therapy keeps me connected to the feelings I actually want to DUMP! I mean, who knows what they are feeling better than INFJs?

I know the general consensus is that these activities are good for the growth of any individual, but I believe journalling/therapy is better for types who aren't connected to their feelings so much. For me it feels like I'm rehashing stuff I already know.

I've had many a therapist in my life. I wanted them to tell me something new, zone in on what was wrong with me to explain the life I've lived, something I didn't already know about myself. I wanted it all to be revolutionary, and smart, and life-altering. I never got that. I always came out of sessions feeling I would be a much better therapist than the rote, book-learned, disconnected therapist sitting in front of me.

Wow, I didn't realize my response to this thread would turn into a mini-rant. Oh well...

Yeah, I know what you mean. After a few sessions, my last therapist sort of became a "friend." We would exchange ideas and share interests, which was nice, but definitely not what I needed. Maybe I was expecting too much.

 

[Sniffles]

I'm my own therapist. Scarry thought isn't it?

 

[Thunderlight]

i had a therapist too--she basically told me i learned so fast, i should only set up an appointment when i needed one. havent been back in a while....

I think it might also be because by the time we go to a therapist, and while we know how to fix our problems and we know what's wrong, we do not know if what we feel is normal and if our plan of action is the best one. Maybe we just want someone to validate our feelings. I know whenever things are going horribly wrong I usually need someone to listen to what I'm thinking and feeling so I can get it out of my mind and look at it from another angle.

I think this hits the nail on the head. it hard though, to find the right person to confide in. thankfully i found another INFJ and weve been confiding in eachother ever since; stuff I never would have told a soul otherwise

 

[Apollanaut]

I'm my own therapist. Scarry thought isn't it?

Me too!

 

[Apollanaut]

Whoops. I've been like this all day. Completely tired, and not completely sure what I'm talking about. I think I was talking to you.. I've been trying to study for tomorrows exam without giving myself any slack so I'm completely incomphensable to even myself right now.

You know you´re an INFJ when youre completely incomprehensible even to yourself!

 

[Sniffles]

You know you´re an INFJ when youre completely incomprehensible even to yourself!

Oh yes, not to mention that if others manage to hear your incomprehensible thoughts - they insist it's the most brillian thing they ever heard.

 

[Apollanaut]

Oh yes, not to mention that if others manage to hear your incomprehensible thoughts - they insist it's the most brillian thing they ever heard.

Yeah, that´s happened to me many times. It find it quite embarassing!