• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFJ] You know you're an INFJ when...

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
^ That's one of the few constants between INFJs. If someone tells you something like that about themselves; it's likely they're an INFJ.

You know you’re INFJ when your favorite local coffee shop stops making your favorite drink and your reaction is to instantly reflect on the impermanence of absolutely everything. All the moments in your life- where you’ve realized you’d been taking some meaningful relationship to something/someone in the external world for granted, because that something/someone suddenly isn’t ready-at-hand available anymore (plus a vague sense of similar events that haven’t even happened yet)- suddenly merge into one big blur and it flashes before your eyes in that split second after you’ve realized your favorite drink is gone.

Ni: Everything is connected in some way. All things are in a web of the Big Picture (Which, depending on your view on life, could be a god or just the System of the Cold Cold Universe). Our minds ride the rails of this web as far as our human minds can allow us. We pick a direction, seeing a goal in the horizon, and follow the line, hopefully reaching a clean conclusion and a train of thought that can let us achieve the goal in reality. In some areas of the Web the rails are clean and smooth, other days they're rusty and have large gaps in places. These gaps can either be our mind not being able to cope with the Web's design and massive scope, or the fact that the connection is vague or forced at best.

That's why we're so zoney. We're thinking up odd metaphors like the one above :D
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
In some areas of the Web the rails are clean and smooth, other days they're rusty and have large gaps in places. These gaps can either be our mind not being able to cope with the Web's design and massive scope, or the fact that the connection is vague or forced at best.

:yes: Clean and smooth feels like the top of the world; rusty w/ large gaps gets frustrating as bejeezus.
 

Quay

Peaced
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When you take an extended break from a forum after you've bared your soul...

Then you reappear as if you'd never left in the first place.
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
:yes: Clean and smooth feels like the top of the world; rusty w/ large gaps gets frustrating as bejeezus.

I associate it with something similar/related to manic-depression (or bi-polar) in my case. When I'm depressed I can't think straight, but I do become a decent info-sponge, but when I'm in a great mood, holy cow, it's the best feeling because then my mind actually DOES things!
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When you realize that despite you may use analysis and logic to arrive at a decision, what bubbles up in the end are your emotions, a desire to make the world a better place.

When you notice your writing is chock full of symbolism, emotional connections towards loved ones and nature, existentialism, and commentary about society as a whole.
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
I've had this in my head a while and wanna type it up here.

I think I have found why many INFJs seem to use Fi. An illusion is what it is, I think. It's based on primary Ni in a role of self-regulation. The particularly introverted INFJs let Ni have a stronger role in their life, so it regulates their decisions by flagging thoughts an INFJ has and tries to bend the consciousness towards the ideal that Ni has developed.

Nutshell: Ni regulates the mind of an INFJ in a way similar to Fi.

Also, I find that having developed Se, I find a line blurred between my type of INFJ and ISFP. Mainly because I live and react with Se/Fe and then relax with Ni/Ti (According to the definition of the tertiary function as a 'hobby function,' ISFPs do this too). The pseudo-Fi that Ni creates increases the blur in the line between my types.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I've had this in my head a while and wanna type it up here.

I think I have found why many INFJs seem to use Fi. An illusion is what it is, I think. It's based on primary Ni in a role of self-regulation. The particularly introverted INFJs let Ni have a stronger role in their life, so it regulates their decisions by flagging thoughts an INFJ has and tries to bend the consciousness towards the ideal that Ni has developed.

Nutshell: Ni regulates the mind of an INFJ in a way similar to Fi.

Also, I find that having developed Se, I find a line blurred between my type of INFJ and ISFP. Mainly because I live and react with Se/Fe and then relax with Ni/Ti (According to the definition of the tertiary function as a 'hobby function,' ISFPs do this too). The pseudo-Fi that Ni creates increases the blur in the line between my types.

Also could go with disillusionment of the world around them, and deciding to follow what path they feel is better for themselves rather than following the crowd and getting their ass kicked for being different, or being "too nice" to others and making themselves vulnerable. Once bitten, twice shy.

I also suspect that INFJs that have stronger Te might be due to a couple factors:

a. They grew up in a household with someone that used Te quite extensively. It's a trait learned by example. It may seem to come natural to the INFJ, but whether or not the INFJ enjoys using that function is what sets them apart from the INTJ.

b. They took an extensive amount of science and/or business courses. The organizational environment of the business world might encourage INFJs to develop Te. Hypothetical/deductive reasoning of science works hand-in-hand with Ni and Te, which might encourage Te development.

c. What an INFJ thinks is Te, is actually Ti in disguise.

d. A disillusioned INFJ might revert to Te to get past emotionally stressful things in life.

e. They don't want to appear weak and vulnerable, so they resort to the good old shadow function bag of disguises. "I will make you do this so then you don't hurt me."
 

lillyofthevalley

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
157
MBTI Type
INFJ
I hate it when people ask certain types of random questions. You know they expect an immediate answer to their liking but it takes you a few moments to answer. It makes me wonder if they think I'm a bit dumb. The truth is, I have to sort through a multitude of possible answers first before I decide on the one I think they are expecting to hear. I usually don't ask questions out of the blue, I tend to set up a question first. Sometimes I wonder if they are the ones who are a bit dumb.
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I hate it when people ask certain types of random questions. You know they expect an immediate answer to their liking but it takes you a few moments to answer. It makes me wonder if they think I'm a bit dumb. The truth is, I have to sort through a multitude of possible answers first before I decide on the one I think they are expecting to hear. I usually don't ask questions out of the blue, I tend to set up a question first. Sometimes I wonder if they are the ones who are a bit dumb.

This made me laugh. And gave me a kind of Waiting-For-Godot deja vu. Though I can't come up with a specific example, I think I know exactly what you're talking about and I've think I've had the exact same reaction. And I think it happens on a somewhat regular basis.
 

Immaculate Cloud

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
143
MBTI Type
INFJ
I hate it when people ask certain types of random questions. You know they expect an immediate answer to their liking but it takes you a few moments to answer. It makes me wonder if they think I'm a bit dumb. The truth is, I have to sort through a multitude of possible answers first before I decide on the one I think they are expecting to hear. I usually don't ask questions out of the blue, I tend to set up a question first. Sometimes I wonder if they are the ones who are a bit dumb.

It depends on who is asking. If it's people I don't know well - just acquaintances or fellow club members - I preface my reply with 'the polite answer is', said with an ironical light tone. Depending on the reaction, I will gauge if the other person is ready to take the acquaintance to another level or merely mouthing social platitudes.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
I am wondering if my curious nature is just that aspect of my Ti that comes out to play when things get rough.

Is it the Ti in conjunction on an abstract level of awareness with Ni that turns everything into a puzzle to figure out and solve and learn the angles so I can "win" at it? I do this with EV-ER-Y thing now! I didnt used to do this even as early as 6 or so years ago... now its like everything gets put into a small system and I learn its components and how this thing effects that thing, a very big picture way of looking at it, but its all very abstract and its not entirely clear. Its mostly an intuitive understanding of it.


It almost makes me feel like a goof boy, in bad boys clothing trying to accomplish good things...

its weird...

I want money, control, and security over my life. It is not in my nature to want these things other then the fact that they are valuable to others in that as tools they can provide a method to live life freer of pain because its double down in comfort.

I dont give a shit about possessions... I could be a homeless wanderer and be happy with that, but there is that aspect of me that greatly desires to fall deeply head over heels in love with someone and to produce a family and completely give myself over as a devoted father and husband, to me thats the best I can do with my life, I know its not really that extravagant or anything but its what I aspire to be... now the funny part is how I have gotten to where I am so close to what I want.

I refuse to work a 9 to 5 job the rest of my life and lose 1000000s of hours away from my loved ones toiling away, not gonna be me... hence the money/security. I need to be able to control my time and schedule, I want to spend it with the people that have meaning for me.

So I figured out the quickest way to get to what I want,that crazy Ti maybe again, putting everything into a system looking at possibilities and boom I follow through.

The stuff I do isnt always ethical, its highly wrong in some instances and it carries great risk, but the rewards I think would be worth it. I am kind of all or nothing in general, its a pretty absurd way to be, but lord how I love to make dramatic exits and such. Much rather burn out then fade away.

Most of my goals get loftier and grander after the building of a family (heart) I want to open shelters in Thailand and Cambodia for battered women and children in the sex ring teach them lucrative skills.

This is all shit thats tossed together in some grand plan I been hatching since I was a teenager. Is that kind of long term strategic planning Ti? what the hell is that? Its getting stronger in me like crazy as I enter my 30s.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
The key words you wrote, "putting things into a system and analyzing its components," by definition is Ti. Ti helps organize the mental clutter that Ni gives us into logical definitions. You have been using Ti to define that family= important.
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
c. What an INFJ thinks is Te, is actually Ti in disguise.

So call it Ti then! :D

I think the Te you're referring to is just Ni and Ti working together to organize the surroundings. The difference between an INFJ's pseudo Te and an INTJs real Te is how active the person is while using it. INTJs use theirs on the run, while INFJs are much more spacey when using their Ti.

The key words you wrote, "putting things into a system and analyzing its components," by definition is Ti. Ti helps organize the mental clutter that Ni gives us into logical definitions. You have been using Ti to define that family= important.

Ti, as I understand it, is the backup for when Ni and Fe don't cut it to keep the world around the INFJ organized. This is when the INFJ goes into a super-introverted mode and disappears for a while. When Ti is more developed it can be used in other ways and more actively. In my case, I find that when I live with Se (it takes energy, but feels good, like exercise) Ti comes right behind it and neither Ni or Fe are actually impaired. (This is, I think, a healthy functioning type.)
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
You can be the most sneakily manipulative person around but in general don't use your ability to manipulate since it often feels very wrong, you don't want to hurt people and the affection you manipulate out of people is not the real thing anyway.

If you are on an Fe encouragement high you can make people feel like a million dollars.

You tend to be a good listener. I had this one-hour conversation with a guy I hardly knew about his psycho-ex-girlfriend (who judging by his description was an INFJ gone wrong) and all I did was say about every 5 minutes, "Psycho. Such a psycho." and afterwards he thanked me profoundly for having had this great conversation with him.
 

Aquarelle

Starcrossed Seafarer
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
3,144
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
You tend to be a good listener. I had this one-hour conversation with a guy I hardly knew about his psycho-ex-girlfriend (who judging by his description was an INFJ gone wrong) and all I did was say about every 5 minutes, "Psycho. Such a psycho." and afterwards he thanked me profoundly for having had this great conversation with him.

Hehe awesome. :)
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
So call it Ti then! :D

I think the Te you're referring to is just Ni and Ti working together to organize the surroundings. The difference between an INFJ's pseudo Te and an INTJs real Te is how active the person is while using it. INTJs use theirs on the run, while INFJs are much more spacey when using their Ti.

The thing is, I notice a couple things when I use the thinking function, whatever form it is, Te or Ti:

1. When explaining verbally what I did in a given moment, or what someone told me, to another person, at first it feels like the thoughts are coming out of my mouth like a big ball of spaghetti that's being thrown at the wall. Then, I backtrack, and put everything into a logical train of thought, telling things stepwise, which takes quite a bit of effort as I'm untangling the mental spaghetti.

2. When working on something that requires a great deal of mental effort, I tend to withdraw from the world, almost becoming anti-social. (I'm sure this is Ti). I can't concentrate with too many people around me.

3. Once a question is answered, multiple questions pop up in my head, and it keeps going!

4. When providing explanations about how to do something, again, mental spaghetti gets tossed up from the back of my mind, I untangle it, and put everything into a stepwise fashion.

5. When dealing with the world around me, I want it all to make sense. It's like I want to put everything into a specific folder labeled with what quality or quantity it is. When I'm presented with something that's a bit fuzzy and grey, I still want to quantify and classify it.

6. When thinking about something, I feel a sense of mental clarity, like someone is taking a fine adjustment on a microscope and everything appears clearer. Then the lightbulb goes on inside my head.

7. I get told often that I usually want instructions on how to do things explained to me in a step-wise scientific fashion, and it's frustrating for some people.
 

whynot

New member
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
44
MBTI Type
INFJ
You tend to be a good listener. I had this one-hour conversation with a guy I hardly knew about his psycho-ex-girlfriend (who judging by his description was an INFJ gone wrong) and all I did was say about every 5 minutes, "Psycho. Such a psycho." and afterwards he thanked me profoundly for having had this great conversation with him.

:cheers: I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
Yeah I'm constantly told what a great listener I am, even when I'm not actually listening to them.
 

lillyofthevalley

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
157
MBTI Type
INFJ
You tend to be a good listener. I had this one-hour conversation with a guy I hardly knew about his psycho-ex-girlfriend (who judging by his description was an INFJ gone wrong) and all I did was say about every 5 minutes, "Psycho. Such a psycho." and afterwards he thanked me profoundly for having had this great conversation with him.

And random people sense that you are safe to talk to. If I had a dollar for every time someone just started talking to me out of the blue, I'd be a millionaire by now.

Once, in a bar, a guy sat down next to me and went on for 20 minutes about how he was compelled to write lyrics for music, that at any given moment there was always a poem forming in his head. He seemed to have a lot of angst about it and spilled his guts to me as if I was going to be the one person who could help him. He finally asked me what he should do about this, did I think he should seek professional help? I asked him if everything else in his life seemed to be going OK and he answered yes. Then I told him that if he was compelled to write....he should write. Who knows, maybe it's his calling? At that point my boyfriend was coming back to the table with our beers so the guy left.
 
Top