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Thread: You know you're an INFJ when...

  1. #911
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    However, I think INFJ guys are very much the antithesis of the negative stereotypical male traits. So we have the edge there. At least, on paper.
    Yeah on paper. Reality is a much different story.

    It's rather odd in my particular case since I don't fit into either the big tough male image or the soft sensitive one either. I seem to operate on my own basis of masculinity; which includes elements of both.

  2. #912

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    "Humanist Scholar", that's classic. I'll make that my member title.



    Yes this is how it seems how my functions operate as well. Ni/Ti over Fe and Se

    How does this look to outsiders, the Ni/Ti combination, if it even sees the outside?

  3. #913
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotr246 View Post
    How does this look to outsiders, the Ni/Ti combination, if it even sees the outside?
    Beats the shit out of me.

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    Badoom~ Array Skyward's Avatar
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    It's rather odd in my particular case since I don't fit into either the big tough male image or the soft sensitive one either. I seem to operate on my own basis of masculinity; which includes elements of both.
    I run the same way, and that's the tricky part, if we're not a stereotype we only attract people who aren't stereotypes themselves (Mature people, basically).

    Heck Ive been called gay, AND Ive been called heartless. Neither of them true. Though Ive never been called a heartless queer

    Relationships are more about what you're willing to deal with, not what you like about a person. Many people don't value what INFJs offer in relationships and just see us as weirdos, and go toward the people that have more obvious, attractive traits which end up with more obvious, unattractive traits. "He's the life of a party for a reason, see him hopping around conversations? He does that with relationships, too." or "He deals with his problems with force and gets them out of the way, he'll bring that to YOU if you decide to be with him."

    All in all, patience is a virtue and I don't mind being single

    How does this look to outsiders, the Ni/Ti combination, if it even sees the outside?
    I'm guessing 'Smart cold weirdo' and I have been accused of looking like a stalker before and that was QUITE the revelation.. granted my jokes and retort-ical banter are QUITE gutterheaded...
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

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    Senior Member Array Kestrel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    I seem to operate on my own basis of masculinity;
    I do this as well. If society's definition of masculinity doesn't fit me, I redefine it for myself. I don't mind catering to those gender roles and doing what's expected of me on a masculine level (protective, assertive, dominant etc). But I sure as hell am not going to limit myself to what everyone else thinks I can be. I feel like my whole life has not just been about breaking the mold, but about shattering it with a sledgehammer.
    I-44 N-88 F-62 J-67

    A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. -Winston Churchill

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    Senior Mugwump Array Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Yeah on paper. Reality is a much different story.

    It's rather odd in my particular case since I don't fit into either the big tough male image or the soft sensitive one either. I seem to operate on my own basis of masculinity; which includes elements of both.
    Does that make you a big sensitive male or a soft tough one? I think I'm the former of the two!
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotr246 View Post
    How does this look to outsiders, the Ni/Ti combination, if it even sees the outside?
    A number of unflattering possibilities spring to mind, based on comments from other people when I'm deeply engrossed in both processes:

    "Pseudo-intellectual"
    "Dreamer"
    "Depressed weirdo"

    I've given up even bothering to say "Please leave me alone, I'm trying to think!"
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

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    Member Array jaku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    I do this as well. If society's definition of masculinity doesn't fit me, I redefine it for myself. I don't mind catering to those gender roles and doing what's expected of me on a masculine level (protective, assertive, dominant etc). But I sure as hell am not going to limit myself to what everyone else thinks I can be. I feel like my whole life has not just been about breaking the mold, but about shattering it with a sledgehammer.
    i'll just throw in my two cents as an infj male.
    ...yep.

    but not even consciously. i mean, now i'm consciously aware of it, but in the past it was like 'alright, someone's in trouble, i'll do my protective, aggressive if need be, now. okay, someone has a lot of emotional issues to and nowhere else to unload, let's give it a whirl'

    i like to think that most infjs understand the workings of our society so well we either find the things we know are right and advocate them, or find the corrupt and try and mend it. neither role requires exercising 'masculinity' or 'femininity', just terribly incredibly strongly focused introverted intuition and feeling, and then some sensing and thinking and judging and perceiving to help us apply our insides to the outside.
    So you were born, and that is a good day.
    And someday you'll die and what a shame.
    But somewhere in the between, theres a life in which we all dream,
    And nothing and no one will ever take that away.

  9. #919
    Senior Mugwump Array Apollanaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakuwhat View Post
    i'll just throw in my two cents as an infj male.
    ...yep.

    but not even consciously. i mean, now i'm consciously aware of it, but in the past it was like 'alright, someone's in trouble, i'll do my protective, aggressive if need be, now. okay, someone has a lot of emotional issues to and nowhere else to unload, let's give it a whirl'

    i like to think that most infjs understand the workings of our society so well we either find the things we know are right and advocate them, or find the corrupt and try and mend it. neither role requires exercising 'masculinity' or 'femininity', just terribly incredibly strongly focused introverted intuition and feeling, and then some sensing and thinking and judging and perceiving to help us apply our insides to the outside.
    Well said! It ain't easy being an INFJ male in our society, but being something of an outsider has its advantages - we are less bound by traditional expectations regarding gender and behaviour.

    Maybe I should add:

    You know you're an INFJ when you do not conform to conventional expectations.
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  10. #920
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apollanaut View Post
    Does that make you a big sensitive male or a soft tough one? I think I'm the former of the two!
    I guess I'd be the soft tough one. One minute people admire me for being gentle and compassionate, and the next they'll condemn me as a cold-hearted brute.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    I feel like my whole life has not just been about breaking the mold, but about shattering it with a sledgehammer.
    You know that's exactly how I pictured myself as well.

    I'll make this short, but I think the most important element in masculinity is integrity; not big muscles and definately not a big cock. To me that's all silly nonsense. Of course a man should be assertive, protective, and all that - but it's secondary. I don't believe a man should be a crying wimp, but neither do I buy the notion of being a cold-hearted prick either.

    Just my simple take on it.

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