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Thread: You know you're an INFJ when...

  1. #641
    Senior Member Array SoAndSo's Avatar
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    I wish writing and words, in general, came easy to me so I can stop relying on other people to interpret what I'm trying to say. It's all right there in plain english in my head but writing or speaking what I'm feeling is like a foreign language.

    I started a journal as advised by a therapist I went to. I wrote one page and my soon-to-be ex read it and woke me at 3am to argue what I wrote about him (he's ISTJ). It was awful and I doubt I will ever write again. The only security I have is locked inside.

  2. #642
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    Quote Originally Posted by Travo7 View Post
    I hear you. If I wrote anything THAT personal, it would be all or nothing and I would definitely be worried someone would find and read it.
    I kept journals religiously but stopped about two years ago when I realized for millions of years, I've been writing about the same things. Seriously. 16 and 21 and 25 and 40 all looked the same to me. I have tons of journals I have no idea what to do with. As an INFJ, journalling and therapy keeps me connected to the feelings I actually want to DUMP! I mean, who knows what they are feeling better than INFJs?

    I know the general consensus is that these activities are good for the growth of any individual, but I believe journalling/therapy is better for types who aren't connected to their feelings so much. For me it feels like I'm rehashing stuff I already know.

    I've had many a therapist in my life. I wanted them to tell me something new, zone in on what was wrong with me to explain the life I've lived, something I didn't already know about myself. I wanted it all to be revolutionary, and smart, and life-altering. I never got that. I always came out of sessions feeling I would be a much better therapist than the rote, book-learned, disconnected therapist sitting in front of me.

    Wow, I didn't realize my response to this thread would turn into a mini-rant. Oh well...

  3. #643
    Senior Member Array SoAndSo's Avatar
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    I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

  4. #644
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    Quote Originally Posted by kmclaughlin View Post
    I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.
    kmclaughlin, I believe what you experienced would be the NORM for any INFJ. I feel therapy is a waste of time for us. Life-coaching might be a better alternative, since it is more action-based, rather than feeling-based.

    Side note:

    I just realized why I hate therapists so much. I never felt they respected my individuality & complexities and seem determined to box me in with trite scripts/solutions for my life.

  5. #645
    Senior Member Array LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gloomy-optimist View Post
    I have this weird thing with a lot of my writing; I would never want to hear anyone's actual opinion on it, and I kind of wouldn't want to know who has read it. But part of me does want someone to read it, just to kind of get some of this stuff that's trapped inside of me and into the mind and understanding of someone else.
    My writing's intensely personal. I draw, and that's personal too, but never on the level of my writing; it's strange how when I write creatively, my soul seems to pour out a little. It tends to be a bit melancholy too...
    Yeah, I understand. Some of the things I write...I'm like, "Wow, that sounds so deep! I should include this in a book" but then I realize no one else would understand it. Plus, when I write melancholy things, I fear someone will read it and think I have "issues." Some people just don't get it.

  6. #646
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    Quote Originally Posted by kmclaughlin View Post
    I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

    I know mine wasn't bad and my life wasn't boring, but mine said the same thing, except asking if the therapy should be quit. And it did feel like a waste of time. I would've preferred advices instead or doing exercises or something action based like felt up said.

  7. #647
    Senior Member Array SoAndSo's Avatar
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    I knew I wasn't in need of therapy but I was asked to go by the ex who said I was crazy....my life is far from boring and there's alot of messed up shit that I have put up with...I think what I was looking for was someone to force me to say what's in my head in a "safe" environment.

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    ^ I didn't mean to imply anything, it jumped in accidentally. Sorry...
    We do need people to talk to.
    For me personally, talking about emotions etc. type of therapy wasn't the best in long run..

  9. #649
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    hehe...I didn't think you were talking about me personally...

  10. #650
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    Whoops. I've been like this all day. Completely tired, and not completely sure what I'm talking about. I think I was talking to you.. I've been trying to study for tomorrows exam without giving myself any slack so I'm completely incomphensable to even myself right now.

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