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[INFJ] You know you're an INFJ when...

mockingbird

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Every time I catch up with this thread it makes me smile, seeing similarities in others oddities that people in my life just don't get.
I don't name spiders, I hate them with a passion. Although there is one outside of my door that I glare at every time I come home. I also talk to it, inform it that it's lucky to be alive and it better dang not come inside even if it is cold. I've decided not to kill it because I have the suspicion that his spider friends will retaliate by infiltrating my house.

I already know I'm nuts.

Don't know that this has anything to do with being INFJ, but I can relate to the whole spider thing. I hate them terribly, but I am allowing a huge black and yellow one live at my doorway. It is alive because I suspect she is one of the offspring of the same spider that did me a considerable service last year. I would have eliminated that spider that lived next to my door last year but it kept catching and eating the wasps that would fly into my face whenever I opened the door....The enemy of my enemy is my friend. My gratitude has been extended to include, if not one of it's actual offspring, it's own kind. That spider doesn't know how darn lucky it is.
 

Skyward

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Don't know that this has anything to do with being INFJ, but I can relate to the whole spider thing. I hate them terribly, but I am allowing a huge black and yellow one live at my doorway. It is alive because I suspect she is one of the offspring of the same spider that did me a considerable service last year. I would have eliminated that spider that lived next to my door last year but it kept catching and eating the wasps that would fly into my face whenever I opened the door....The enemy of my enemy is my friend. My gratitude has been extended to include, if not one of it's actual offspring, it's own kind. That spider doesn't know how darn lucky it is.

Its the NiFeTi working together to decide the best way to treat the spider.

'Okay its freaky, but it kills wasps, which are worse. It also might be the offspring of last year's spider.'

It isn't 'OMG SPIDAR KEEL IT!' (At least, not for long :D)
 

lillyofthevalley

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Its the NiFeTi working together to decide the best way to treat the spider.

'Okay its freaky, but it kills wasps, which are worse. It also might be the offspring of last year's spider.'

It isn't 'OMG SPIDAR KEEL IT!' (At least, not for long :D)

I gather my bugs up in containers and toss them out. If they're outside I move them. Occasionally I have to step on one to keep it from scurrying under the sofa or something but generally I can't stand to kill things.

On the other hand when it comes to people like John Allen Muhammad, the beltway sniper who's going to be executed soon, I say 'fry the sucka!'
 

Lux

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I gather my bugs up in containers and toss them out. If they're outside I move them. Occasionally I have to step on one to keep it from scurrying under the sofa or something but generally I can't stand to kill things.

Haha, +1

I spent about 15 minutes once at a (really boring) gathering trying to get an enormous spider safely outside. One person had a broom and one other had a can of Raid. The broom I could have handled if it was necessary because it's quick and painless, but poisoning seemed barbaric to me. I'm pretty sure everyone else at the get together thought I was nuts.
 

Skyward

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I would have RAIDed it, just because the sense of power and knowing another freaky thing has been killed.

I'm not against killing or eugenics. Why is the death sentence so expensive anyway? Arent bullets cheaper than food? :D
 

lillyofthevalley

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I would have RAIDed it, just because the sense of power and knowing another freaky thing has been killed.

I'm not against killing or eugenics. Why is the death sentence so expensive anyway? Arent bullets cheaper than food? :D

Ground glass and chlorine bleach doesn't cost hardly anything.
 

Billy

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Its the NiFeTi working together to decide the best way to treat the spider.

'Okay its freaky, but it kills wasps, which are worse. It also might be the offspring of last year's spider.'

It isn't 'OMG SPIDAR KEEL IT!' (At least, not for long :D)

haha when I was a kid I used to catch ants and other undesireable bugs and toss them into the orb spiders webs and let them dispatch them. I would also catch them with my hands and release them in my fathers garden lol.
 

Soar337

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You know you are an INFJ if you name the spider in your room that stares at you till you sleep at night, climbs the bed and sits on your face till you wake up as 'Benny'.

And you know you are an INFP if you catch the spider and kiss it to try and make it turn into a handsome, charming Prince.

No INFP would do this. Seriously.
 

Kyrielle

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Don't know that this has anything to do with being INFJ, but I can relate to the whole spider thing. I hate them terribly, but I am allowing a huge black and yellow one live at my doorway. It is alive because I suspect she is one of the offspring of the same spider that did me a considerable service last year. I would have eliminated that spider that lived next to my door last year but it kept catching and eating the wasps that would fly into my face whenever I opened the door....The enemy of my enemy is my friend. My gratitude has been extended to include, if not one of it's actual offspring, it's own kind. That spider doesn't know how darn lucky it is.

Agreed. I don't hate spiders, but I'm not in love with them either. Once there was a nice, fat brown house spider that lived under the AC unit in my dorm. My roommate wanted to kill it, but once I saw the first roach carcass sitting near its web, I told my roommate to let it stay. :D Besides, it's not like we saw it every day. It lived in the place we never, ever look, so I wasn't one to complain.
 

Skyward

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Agreed. I don't hate spiders, but I'm not in love with them either. Once there was a nice, fat brown house spider that lived under the AC unit in my dorm. My roommate wanted to kill it, but once I saw the first roach carcass sitting near its web, I told my roommate to let it stay. :D Besides, it's not like we saw it every day. It lived in the place we never, ever look, so I wasn't one to complain.

I would name it at that point. It would be a free pet!

You know youre an INFJ when people wonder if you have any solid opinions. You can switch sides so easily for random reasons. They just haven't seen your stubborn core yet.
 

lillyofthevalley

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I would name it at that point. It would be a free pet!

You know youre an INFJ when people wonder if you have any solid opinions. You can switch sides so easily for random reasons. They just haven't seen your stubborn core yet.

So true.
It seems we're able to see all sides and from different perspectives. Ask a simple question...it's not that you don't have answers it's that the question wasn't specific enough...it takes time to try to find the answer they most likely want to hear.
This is one reason taking tests in school was such a chore for me.

Right on the stubborn. I don't balk often but when I do it's likely to be my way or the highway. (I love some of these old expressions.)
 

Jack_Rabid

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You know you are NOT and INFJ when you ..
Break up after a relationship that was the result of "Bad Timing" and agree with INFJ that things should have never got to where they got..take your responsibility for things not working.. see them take theirs.. and take their advice to make getting better about you and not them.. and then, NOT turning more and hostile as each day passes , Not taking less and less responsibility for how things panned out .. and not accusing the other of "ruining your life"
 

lillyofthevalley

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You know you're INFJ when you hurt more from the undercurrents than by the remark itself.

And sometimes you know logically that you shouldn't be upset, you are aware that other people don't think like that and they wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about if you confronted them about it.

"Don't be so sensitive" can feel like "you are such a weirdo."
 

SilkRoad

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You know youre an INFJ when people wonder if you have any solid opinions. You can switch sides so easily for random reasons. They just haven't seen your stubborn core yet.

Don't entirely agree with this...in my case anyway, I think there are a lot of areas where I'm very laid back and just don't have very strong feelings either way, BUT when I do have a strong opinion, people are going to hear about it for sure. I think there are some other types that are much more fickle, if I can use that word.

I do have a habit though of being swayed by very persuasive pieces of writing, ie. on political subjects. For example, I might read something extremely persuasive which convinces me that the Palestinians are the most oppressed people on the face of the earth, and the next week I read something equally persuasive and well written which makes me think the Palestinians don't have much to complain about and the Israelis have only done what they need to do... (sorry, I'm not meaning to start a debate about Israel-Palestine from this!!)

I just mean that sometimes I don't know what to think when the subject is not one of my areas of expertise, and both sides are highly persuasive, especially in writing.
 

Jack_Rabid

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You know you are not an INFJ.. when you believe in communication.. and stop assuming that everyone wont understand you.. especially if time and time again they have shown an uncanny ability to understand you..
 

firstjudge

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You know you are not an INFJ.. when you believe in communication.. and stop assuming that everyone wont understand you.. especially if time and time again they have shown an uncanny ability to understand you..

I struggle to think of anyone who understands me beyond a superficial level, much less anyone with the uncanny ability to understand me--lol. The people who claim to 'understand' are usually the control freaks who try to mold me into this idealized image of me they have in their heads. The people who understand most are usually those who are willing to accept that they don't, as contradictory as that sounds.
 

Grace

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I hate spiders but I could not kill one to save my life (exaggeration). I usually try to trap them and then throw them outside.
 

Jack_Rabid

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I struggle to think of anyone who understands me beyond a superficial level, much less anyone with the uncanny ability to understand me--lol. The people who claim to 'understand' are usually the control freaks who try to mold me into this idealized image of me they have in their heads. The people who understand most are usually those who are willing to accept that they don't, as contradictory as that sounds.

That's the whole point.. you are already convinced it is impossible.. So where does leave the person who want to understand you so badly??

I guess I might have been more specific ..in that I understand emotion .. and that includes an INFJ's .. the causes and reasons might be alien to me.. but the result is the same.. and the more I understood (it was confirmed I did) the more vulnerable she becomes.. The more steam the push/pull game picks up..
the more the alienation grows..
Is this healthy?
 

cascadeco

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I guess I might have been more specific ..in that I understand emotion .. and that includes an INFJ's .. the causes and reasons might be alien to me.. but the result is the same.. and the more I understood (it was confirmed I did) the more vulnerable she becomes.. The more steam the push/pull game picks up..
the more the alienation grows..
Is this healthy?

For myself I really want my causes/reasons, and thoughts, to be *understood*. It's not enough for the person to just empathize/relate to the emotions themselves, I want them to understand - fully - WHY I'm feeling that way, and really get it, deep down. The emotion itself isn't terribly important to me - meaning, it's the root cause of the emotion that IS.
 
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