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Thread: Still mixed up, androgenously speaking

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array Anja's Avatar
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    May 2008


    Yay, Lady Jaye and phoenix! 'sall we can do. Anything else robs us of personal satisfaction.

    When I was a kid I was a tomboy. I liked the sense of competition and freedom from the social intricacies of my female peers.

    I think when I hit my teen years I was confused for quite awhile about young men's responses to my sometimes rowdiness and an amount of aggression.

    Eventually I started to figure out that being anything other than who I am was exhausting. Besides it gets pretty confusing if you're hanging out with your tomboy pals and then the dude you have eyes for walks in the room. You can't exactly transform into something else without your pals looking askance. Heh.

    I think INFPs might do this quite a bit in their youth because as I type that one brought back a few uncomfortable memories!

    But, in regards to changing one's pattern of interaction, I think that is a useful thing to try at a certain age. Sometimes we are trying on different personas untill we get a good fit. That's all good.

    And I hope you can do this unhindered by other's reactions, cuz it's not them, I hope, that you are trying to make the changes for.

    All easier said than done. Just like RL!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array
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    Apr 2008
    4w5 sx/sp
    IEI Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    a three min conversation with a guy where he tells me blatatly, "You can really put a guy off"
    That comment would likely end my interest - especially since you just met anyway. Sounds like a closed mind. I would see it as a way to sift through those types.

  3. #13


    Which makes me wonder why anybody goes in for speed dating. Why not just the Marquis de Sade's idea of brothels where you could do anything with anybody paid for by anybody doing anything with you? The only thing I could learn from speed dating (if it were forced) is that the ones who aren't good at it are probably worth knowing.

    I think the image of the sexes reverses the reality. Girls have traditionally grown up feeling that they are very much in charge to decide if what boys offer them is good enough. They may want to show other girls that they have the right stuff to attract, but that is to put one over the girls, not because they really care whether they have a boy or not. In recent times they've been taught to return to feeling that belonging and feeling are restrictive. Boys never admit it, but belonging and freedom to show feelings without being laughed at is what a lot have always wanted. Deep down, a woman always knows that her need to love and be loved can be met from the child of her own body. A man depends on a woman's conscious choice regardless of how he feels about her. He needs to compete in wooing (buying) her, she has no need of him.

  4. #14
    in-game Array Gamine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    Anyone with self-esteem issues (overly macho or strangely passive) is going to be threatened by any behaviour or pattern you show because they lack the ability to appreciate another person's identity when they are so confused and insecure within themselves.

    The last thing you want is someone who wants to tame you or someone who is so passive they continually grow in their resentment towards you for being "more" than them.

    Be yourself ThatGirl! Someone with emotional maturity will happen..... eventually.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    I think it's all a matter of taste. ENTP's and ISTJ's are among my favorites people to date. They have this awkward way of flirting that I find adorable. So they aren't your classic girly girls... but that doesn't make them any less special.

    A woman who can keep up with me in a battle of wits... who will call me out on my bluff... and keep me on my toes... well that's a woman who is just hot.

    To be honest though, as much as I love them, they kicked my ass when I was in my twenties.

    Anyways, don't change. You are awesome just the way that you are.

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