User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 85

  1. #1
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default ENFP Anti Weakness

    Ok, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, so you can answer how you want.

    Basically, I've noticed that I (female ENFP) get annoyed with guys (not so much girls) that are weak. Like, it almost embarasses me on their behalf. You know, I want them to be sensitive, but I don't want them to be too sensitive. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not get all dependent and gushy at me.

    I think it is "weakness" that bugs me, but I'm not sure.

    For example, my guy friend (ISFP) calls me from the road on his way to visit me this weekend. It's like a 3 hour trip and he's been to my house before, but for whatever reason he got lost. He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something? I think you're going to need to mapquest this for me."

    Now, I can't place my own emotion, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way. I'm not annoyed that he's asking for help (because ordinarily I love helping people), but kind of! I'm annoyed, but I can't figure out why. It's a perfectly reasonable request, but I feel like, ok dude, what do you really want me to do here? Figure it out yourself. Don't be such a baby. Ugh.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    I have noticed that women want men to be "men," regardless of type.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Yeah, but why?

  4. #4
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    7,917

    Default

    I think some girls prefer weaker guys because they like to be the ones in control. Maybe some ENTJ girls are like this.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Weaker guys are usually nicer guys, I find. But, I just get so annoyed with the weakness that it trumps how nice they are! To me, it seems to go along with why nice guys finish last. It's not just that they're nice, it's that they're weak!

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Yeah, but why?
    Let me know when you find out, also the meaning of life.

  7. #7
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,313

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Ok, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, so you can answer how you want.

    Basically, I've noticed that I (female ENFP) get annoyed with guys (not so much girls) that are weak. Like, it almost embarasses me on their behalf. You know, I want them to be sensitive, but I don't want them to be too sensitive. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not get all dependent and gushy at me.

    I think it is "weakness" that bugs me, but I'm not sure.

    For example, my guy friend (ISFP) calls me from the road on his way to visit me this weekend. It's like a 3 hour trip and he's been to my house before, but for whatever reason he got lost. He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something? I think you're going to need to mapquest this for me."

    Now, I can't place my own emotion, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way. I'm not annoyed that he's asking for help (because ordinarily I love helping people), but kind of! I'm annoyed, but I can't figure out why. It's a perfectly reasonable request, but I feel like, ok dude, what do you really want me to do here? Figure it out yourself. Don't be such a baby. Ugh.

    Thoughts?
    I have no clue why that rubbed you the wrong way... he needed directions. How is that weak? How the hell is he supposed to "figure it out" without a friggin' map? Is it that men aren't supposed to ask for directions? That's bull.

    I understand you not wanting people to be dependent on you, or not self-sufficient... but the "embarassment on their behalf" is something I don't experience.

    Concerning the "gushy" part... I LOVE men who are expressive. I love it and admire it. It shows a detachment from social norms that takes confidence and self-acceptance.

    To sum it up, it sounds like (I'm not positive here) your reaction is a combination of your hatred for dependence and imprinting of what is and isn't acceptable for a man to do. The former is cool. The later isn't IMO.

  8. #8
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    7,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    I have no clue why that rubbed you the wrong way... he needed directions. How is that weak? How the hell is he supposed to "figure it out" without a friggin' map? Is it that men aren't supposed to ask for directions? That's bull.
    I think she was turned off by that fact the he she said he sounded like a bitch about being lost, not just the fact that he got lost and needed directions.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Right?! I know! It was completely unreasonable for me to feel so invaded and irritated with giving him directions, but... I was. Maybe it was how he asked for it. I'm not sure.

    Interesting though. Yeah, I think it's mostly the dependence factor. I only gave you a small glimpse of how he is, so my issue is probably more contextual than explained. Hm.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    You're weird :p

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!
    By findthejake in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1133
    Last Post: 12-08-2017, 02:44 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP's are PARANOID! Hahahaha...um...
    By CzeCze in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 07-30-2009, 09:33 AM
  3. [ENFP] enfp's fact or fiction
    By targobelle in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 458
    Last Post: 05-24-2009, 03:07 PM
  4. [ENFP] INFP vs. ENFP
    By arcticangel02 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 01-21-2009, 04:19 AM
  5. [ENFP] The ENFP Paradox
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 01-15-2008, 04:14 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO