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  1. #11
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    You're weird :p
    Strikingly odd or unusual... definitely.

  2. #12
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    Did you just look up "weird" in the dictionary? Now that's weird.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    I can't help it.

  4. #14
    Member BlownAway's Avatar
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    I'm usually annoyed with "weakness" in men I'm dating because I'm "weak" in a sense myself..or sensitive and emotional might be a better expression. I don't like this side of myself, and therefore I don't want a partner to show this side either. He should be strong where I'm weak and the opposite. But when it comes to men in general and women, I don't care.

    I think that when you're annoyed with something and really don't know why..it can be some undefined inner value? Something that comes from early childhood..? Maybe the men in your family are very selfsufficient and independent?

  5. #15
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Right?! I know! It was completely unreasonable for me to feel so invaded and irritated with giving him directions, but... I was. Maybe it was how he asked for it. I'm not sure.
    That's what I thought, too, when I read
    He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something?
    You seem the type to have preferred him to order you, "Do me a favor, sweetcheeks."
    The funny thing is that guys can get fearful if they know you're the type to be judgmental about perceived chinks in their armor of masculinity, so it's a deadly cycle because then they are less sure of themselves, further incurring your disgust.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    That's what I thought, too, when I read

    You seem the type to have preferred him to order you "Do me a favor, sweetcheeks."
    The funny thing is that guys can get fearful if they know you're the type to be judgmental about perceived chinks in their armor of masculinity, so it's a deadly cycle because they are less sure of themselves, further incurring your disgust.
    Wow, that's so insightful! Makes a lot of sense.

    Although, I think in this particular case the fear the guy had was unrelated to me. I haven't exactly let on that it annoys me. I usually give leeway for people to be themselves because it usually is my favorite thing (to provide them that safety), but at the same time it sometimes means putting up with or ignoring what secretly annoys me (recognizing the benefit of authenticity). Well, that is, until of course it gets to that point where I need to say something. I don't think my annoyance is necessarily justified.

  7. #17
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Wow, that's so insightful! Makes a lot of sense.

    Although, I think in this particular case the fear the guy had was unrelated to me. I haven't exactly let on that it annoys me. I usually give leeway for people to be themselves because it usually is my favorite thing (to provide them that safety), but at the same time it sometimes means putting up with or ignoring what secretly annoys me (recognizing the benefit of authenticity). Well, that is, until of course it gets to that point where I need to say something. I don't think my annoyance is necessarily justified.
    Ah. But careful that you are not leaking how you feel without knowing it. Nonverbal cues can betray you. If he's anything like the ISFPs I know, you won't need to do much of anything to let on, because ISFPs can be very perceptive of others' attitudes.

  8. #18
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I dunno, it doesn't sound to me like much to do with gender at all... it's just general annoyance that somebody refuses to stand on their own two feet. I'd feel the same way. If someone asks for help with something that they really do need help with I'm all for it and happy to help. But if people ask for help just because they're lazy, even though they have all they need to do whatever it is by themselves, I just tend to want to grab them by the lapels, shake them and shout "DRY THE FUCK UP!" into their face.

    Like Bjork said in the song...
    YouTube - Bjork - Army Of Me
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #19
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I dunno, it doesn't sound to me like much to do with gender at all... it's just general annoyance that somebody refuses to stand on their own two feet.
    I think males are a lot more likely to tolerate that behavior in females than vice versa.

  10. #20
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    ...actually it's also, in me, a feeling like they're just taking the piss, taking total liberties with your time and goodwill. Like you've got nothing better to do with your time than do stuff for them that they could do for themselves. In fact yeah it makes me totally mad when people do this to me. Especially if they're asking me to help them get to where I'm already gonna be doing them a favour.

    If I'm asking somebody to go somewhere for me, and there's nothing in it for them, I can appreciate their pragmatic sorta "well, you do the legwork then and I'll just show up" attitude. I can understand it, so I'll do the legwork. But that's not the same as just being a wet blanket.

    And if somebody has say, complained to me that they're all alone and I've said well okay come over to my place and we can talk about it - I've already offered them my time and resources to help them out, it just feels like they're trying it on if they then add that I've got to practically hold their hand all the way to my front door.

    I prefer to meet people half way, and I tend to feel more inclined to help people whom I can see are helping themselves, at least trying. People who think they can just wimp out and be pathetic and expect puppy eyes to get them through life just irritate the fuck outta me. Whatever their gender.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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