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  1. #1
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Default Where are all of the topics about ENFJ's? (why I'm here)

    I mean, come on, we're pretty awesome! We're massively underrepresented here in the forums (5-10 truly active ENFJ posters) I know but that must mean that there are more out there that you guys are interacting with, I think. I'm just here because I'm an introverted extravert. Can any of you relate?

    I want to be social but I've never really been social for most of my life. I definitely was as a kid but come adolescence and the awkwardness started. (Just a warning to parents out there, even a couple years of homeschooling can ruin an E.) Fe just goes around building up walls and Ni comes up with excuses for why people wouldn't want to hang out with me and why I wouldn't want to hang out with them.

    In the end, I'm so preoccupied, with why I'm antisocial or why others have such biting criticisms of me that I find I have no real interests beyond maintaining order and working towards idealistic goals. E.g. I spent over ten hours last week reseaching headphones with no clear purpose, just reading a bunch of yays or nays, mostly nays.

    Anyone ever been in a rut like this and if so how did you "get out" and start to enjoy life?
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  2. #2
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I know a couple ENFJs here and there.
    Even more so than the other Extraverted iNtuitives, these types are always out doing things. It is the power of the Fe- always wanting to connect with others.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  3. #3
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Moved to Personal Threads.

  4. #4
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    It's worth pointing out that moving this topic is completely lame. Why even have a personal board if people only post on it once or twice a month. Thanks for dooming the topic Edahn!
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  5. #5
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Hey, Chris, use the search function (go to advanced mode and search intelligently).

    There's lots of ENFJ stuff.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #6
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Search results for titles that include:
    ENFJ
    ENFJs

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    It is the power of the Fe- always wanting to connect with others.
    I want a break from it for at least a while. How can I get that?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by burkeus View Post
    I want a break from it for at least a while. How can I get that?
    Dig a hole and hope you die? j/k no idea.

  9. #9
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    I wonder if ENFJ's more than other extroverted types should be split into "introverted" ENFJ's and "Extroverted" ENFJ's. I'm clearly the introverted type. I value personal relationships very highly but I can't form them worth a shit. I'm absolutely delightful when I make small talk with people (unlike other types, most notably the INT's) but when it comes to forming lasting bonds, I... just... can't do it.

    The thought of all the bad things that could happen if I do try to hang out with people outside of my established group is frightening and makes me very anxious. I look at people sometimes and can't help but not smile. I just see another failed attempt at me connecting with the outside world.

    I would rather live, immediately, in seclusion. It's certainly not in my longterm goals and I admire those that can just live in the moment but being at work and then coming home and just sitting on the internet or watching tv feels safe and comfortable for me. I wonder, with all the other ENFJ's on here, if there's anyone else that feels the same. If any of them have been able to combat these negative, cynical thoughts about people in general. Maybe I'm cynical because people don't fit in my narrow ideal of how we should all be or maybe I'm... resentful. I dunno.

    Just thought I'd type for a while. It's cathartic for me.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  10. #10
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    I wonder if ENFJ's more than other extroverted types should be split into "introverted" ENFJ's and "Extroverted" ENFJ's. I'm clearly the introverted type. I value personal relationships very highly but I can't form them worth a shit. I'm absolutely delightful when I make small talk with people (unlike other types, most notably the INT's) but when it comes to forming lasting bonds, I... just... can't do it.
    Hi, I see what you mean, I think for me I can be totally extroverted at times, and other times totally introverted in a group setting. It really depends on my mood. I mean if I am happy, or excited about some new idea for making the world a better place..., then I am totally out there. On the other hand, when I am feeling kinda low, kinda not understanding myself, or just sad because of current events, or feeling like "who knows if my dreams will ever happen", then I'm much more introverted, cause I don't like projecting these feelings onto others. Or maybe because I feel that I am no good to them anyways in this state, and that keeps me much more to myself.
    Although I do tell a selective few my troubles...
    I don't know, I have a hard time keeping long lasting relationships too, but if the other person keeps at it... then a freindship is born.
    I can talk small talk with like any person I see, it's kinda scary on the one hand considering the main subconcious motivater that makes me be able to do this is...
    I want to connect...nect...nect *echo*
    I don't know, I just want to feel connected with people at all times, at any given time.
    is something wrong with me because of this?
    I think thats one of the reasons I'm on this forum. In my day to day I see people, but it's not enough for me, cause my ideal job would be out there, doing something meaningful, something out of the office (at least most the day), interacting with people, solving major issues, and it being real-time. Something that gets your adrenaline going, something exciting, even dangerous(?) to some extent.
    What I do now, is sit in a cubicle all day, in front of a computer which is extremely frustrating for me.
    So anyway sorry about all the ranting...the point is that this may be why I'm on the forum. It helps me feel like I am connecting with people.
    Maybe you are an enfj that is just a little under the weather right now, or maybe you have never been given the chance to be in your ideal enviroment, and therefore never felt compelled to speak your mind. Maybe it's a low confidence issue, who knows.
    Which could be, if you had parents that put you down a lot, I know I have been working on my self-esteem forever- I mean it's gotten much better, but the effects of childhood are very hard to just get rid of, (I mean if they were negative).

    So, I have some humble advice I would like to give you; just get out of the house for an evening with some, even one close friend, and go a little crazy...
    It might help you get out of your zone, and put things in prospective.

    Good luck, dee

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