[INFJ] INFJ in love - do they fall in love fast?

[polkadotstars]

Do INFJs fall in love fast? or at least get wrapped up into feelings fast?

 

[tenINsFJ]

Crush really easy. Fall out of crush easy. Love.. continuous search. A very slow and analytical approach.

 

[Tigerlily]

People are people so any type is capable of "falling in love fast". If the chemistry is there, it can happen.

 

[karenk]

The rare times it's happened- it's happend FAST. I'd prefer not to be like that.

 

[Eileen]

I wouldn't say that I fall in love quickly. I am pretty judicious about the L word. I do get all limerent and crushy pretty quickly, though.

 

[Desperado44]

Its by far my biggest weakness in relationships.

I border on an "E" and an "I"....so I wanted to comment.

When I fall....I fall really hard.

 

[edcoaching]

I can only speak from the two INFJ love stories I know well and there were two characteristics. First, neither of us dated anyone for long unless we could see potential for marriage . Waste of time to keep going out since there were plenty of friends of both genders to hang around with, so crushes, even gooey ones, were over fast. Second, when that magic person appeared we knew it and were engaged really fast. Both of us have been married for decades so...

 

[violaine]

Loving

For INFJs, 'still waters run deep.' They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. The depth of involvement and feeling that the INFJ has toward loved ones is only partially communicated outward. At times, when alone, INFJs become truly in touch with the depth of the love they have for their partner. They may not openly demonstrate or even verbalize their intense feelings. INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or mate reveals flaws. INFJs enjoy sharing activities like a regular 'date,' revisiting the place where they first met their mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue and confirm the existence of the bond that they feel for their partner.

INFJs want to give love and to be loved. They enter into relationships just to be cared for, even when the person is not right for them and they suspect it. However, when they meet that special person, they are quick to get into the relationship and make it a serious one. They will end their other relationships in order to pursue their loved one. They become very focused, intense, and direct in that pursuit.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. One INFJ explained, 'people can do the most outrageous things, yet I blame myself for triggering their behavior or not recognizing it. I see myself as responsible for relationships. Other people can dismiss them --- I'm not able to.' INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalized their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long periods of self-examination.

(From INFJ - The Mystic)

Can't speak for anyone else but this is probably the best description I've found... though finding it has changed me. I don't get into relationships just for closeness though I did once. You only have to do it once to realize how awful it is. And careful about getting involved quickly even when I know that the other person is 'right' for me. Heehee, afterall sometimes it takes the other types a little while to catch up ... I do think INFJs can be very direct in pursuit though. And emboldened in love even when it's scary to put themselves out there.

 

[Uytuun]

A good description indeed.

They enter into relationships just to be cared for

I've seen this happen and I find it particularly scary.

 

[violaine]

^Yes, as have I. It doesn't happen because of being a random, bleeding heart though. (I think?) I think it can happen because an INFJ will have an idealized standard and not a lot of people measure up, whether the INFJ realizes it or not. (They are kind of a victim of it too). So, before you've met someone who is 'right', you may begin a relationship with someone who is near enough. Someone you *think* you should like. Always a mistake. That's the nearest I can figure...

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

My wife says she knew I was the one the first time she met me.

 

[Uytuun]

My wife says she knew I was the one the first time she met me.

Ni knows.

(seriously)

 

[cafe]

I can only speak from the two INFJ love stories I know well and there were two characteristics. First, neither of us dated anyone for long unless we could see potential for marriage . Waste of time to keep going out since there were plenty of friends of both genders to hang around with, so crushes, even gooey ones, were over fast. Second, when that magic person appeared we knew it and were engaged really fast. Both of us have been married for decades so...

Now that sounds really familiar, but we're only at sixteen years.
Edit:
I 'knew' by the end of our first real conversation. Took my feelings a little while to catch up with the idea.

 

[kiddykat]

People are people so any type is capable of "falling in love fast". If the chemistry is there, it can happen.

Completely agreed!

 

[karenk]

(From INFJ - The Mystic)

I don't relate to the part of the description that an INFJ will enter a relationship for closeness or be with the wrong person though. How about other INFJs? I wouldn't have the motivation to do that. However if the person was amazing but wrong in a practical sense, I could see that not being a factor. So maybe that's what it means.

 

[Sniffles]

I've never once fallen in love at first sight. Usually it's only after encountering the person a few times do I finally fall in "love", although as somebody else mentioned I'm always cautious about jumping to the conclusion that it's "love".

But also like tENnisFJ, I develop crushes rather quickly. Which is why Im often cautious about concluding that my feelings amount to "love".

 

[edcoaching]

I don't relate to the part of the description that an INFJ will enter a relationship for closeness or be with the wrong person though. How about other INFJs? I wouldn't have the motivation to do that. However if the person was amazing but wrong in a practical sense, I could see that not being a factor. So maybe that's what it means.

Me either. I had that with friends and didn't crave romance on top of that if it didn't offer more harmony/fun than my friends (who were both genders anyway...although sometimes there was interference from their stupid girlfriends who sometimes couldn't understand that there really is such a thing as just being friends)

 

[redacted]

I get crushes immediately, but I find flaws pretty quickly too. And I'm very careful about where to invest my energy.

It took me more than 7 months to realize that I was in love with my friend freshman year (we had kissed before, and I still didn't realize). Once I figured it out, I started acting and made a relationship happen, but it's not like I jumped in right when I met her.

 

[entropie]

INFJ and "fast" in one sentence is in 99,9% of the cases a capital mistake

 

[redacted]

INFJ and "fast" in one sentence is in 99,9% of the cases a capital mistake

Well, I'm definitely slower than ENTPs. But I'm usually more right