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[INFP] Non-"typical" INFPs

erm

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Warm? Fuzzy? Irrational? Sensitive? Vulnerable? Am I the only one calling BS on these being typical INFP traits?

Maybe I can describe this with an examples:

I think most, if not all, INFPs possess and use empathy a lot. However, in the case of some person beating a someone else to death, I thought empathy meant you understood/feel both the victim's position and the murderer's position. Instead of selective empathy (which I though was Fe's speciality used to keep the peace) where normally you only feel/care about the victim's position.

The first empathy leads to the observer becoming emotionally neutral to the situation, since you've felt both positions, unless the observer is only in the presence of one of the people, in which case they normally side with them until they hear/think of the other sides.

Being neutral then leaves only logic and ethics, which, because of the lack of emotion for either side, make a cold impersonal judgement on the matter. (This empathy isn't used all the time, nor perfect)

This, along with Fi being so hidden and uncaring about things unrelated to its values, led to INFPs being cold I thought.

In the case of ISFPs I thought Se lead to their Fi caring more about details and what's going on around them, making them warmer and more emotionally revealing. More "in the moment".

Ne only distants a person further from the world, making them less revealing of themselves if combined with the apparently most introverted function, Fi.

On top of this I thought that INFPs were the least practical type generally, meaning in this day and age they learn the hard and fast that details, logic and evidence are very important. This only serves to make them more cold and distant, and view logic and evidence as incredibly important, though their use won't be as natural as it is to T's.

With Fi's hidden/withdrawn nature, on top of the above, sensitivity and vulnerability soon leave when they learn to protect their emotions and feelings from the harsh world. By harsh I mean not what they were expecting, I don't mean they necessarily expect the world to be nice, supportive and cater to their needs or anything like that.

My personal experience has shown INFPs to definitely not be clingy, needy, vulnerable (on the outside), overly emotional (on the outside) and all that.

Am I just being crazy about this or something? I thought INFPs were a hard nut to crack, and what goo comes out when you do is dependent almost entirely on the individual.
 

Jack Flak

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In my limited, severely flawed observations, I've noticed that INFPs are true to type, just as everyone else, but the descriptions can be exaggerated. How do you feel about Keirsey's "Healer" description?
 

erm

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How do you feel about Keirsey's "Healer" description?

Mostly correct. Especially the repeating of reserved and distant.

"In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless" and all the stuff about community, healing, solving personal conflicts etc.

I thought that, being based on values, was down to the individual. They may all like to help people and things, but the definition of help, well it varies a lot.

Also, I thought huge dislike of conflict was a universal INFP thing along with procrastinating (probably because decisions arise from conflict). They don't seem to get mentioned.
 

Jack Flak

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This though: "In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless" and all the stuff about community, healing, solving personal conflicts etc.

I thought that, being based on values, was down to the individual. They may all like to help people and things, but the definition of help, well it varies a lot.

Also, I thought huge dislike of conflict was a universal INFP thing, along with procrastinating. They don't seem to get mentioned.
*shrug* These are all traits I'm aware of. Maybe you or I should write a description and mail it to the internet...tomorrow.

Most of the INFPs I've known had a comfortable distaste with humanity in general*, though they still don't want to see people harmed. It's the internal sense of, to pick one word, "justice" which rules the INFP (versus the internal sense of logic which rules the INTP).

*may be why we got along.
 

Jack Flak

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What exactly do you mean by this?
I mean exactly what I said. In other words, perhaps:

They don't like the way society works; they have problems with leaders most of the time; most people turn them off with their personalites and actions; et cetera.

INFP complaints are indeed feeling based, and they tend to be more vague than specific. "I just don't like this."
 

erm

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I mean exactly what I said. In other words, perhaps:

They don't like the way society works; they have problems with leaders most of the time; most people turn them off with their personalites and actions; et cetera.

INFP complaints are indeed feeling based, and they tend to be more vague than specific. "I just don't like this."

Well feeling based is a given. Other than that I must just be completely off the mark.
 

Jack Flak

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Well feeling based is a given. Other than that I must just be completely off the mark.
You might have missed that I said "Most of the INFPs I've known." It wasn't a general description.
 

erm

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You might have missed that I said "Most of the INFPs I've known." It wasn't a general description.

Yes, but the reason I made this thread was because so many people seem to agree with your idea and what I'm objecting to.

I thought wikipedia's description was one of them, though it's been changed to fit my idea more it seems.

Maybe I'm not so off the mark.
 

Jack Flak

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Now you have me confused as well. I basically agree with your OP.
 

erm

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Now you have me confused as well. I basically agree with your OP.

Hmm. I was going with your "distaste with humanity" remark.

It was unclear sorry.

"Distaste with reality" would be how I describe them.
 

Jack Flak

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Speaking of unclear, I should've said "distaste for humanity," shouldn't I have? :doh:

Yes, distaste for reality is probably a slightly better description.
 

sleepless

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I think most, if not all, INFPs possess and use empathy a lot. However, in the case of some person beating a someone else to death, I thought empathy meant you understood/feel both the victim's position and the murderer's position. Instead of selective empathy (which I though was Fe's speciality used to keep the peace) where normally you only feel/care about the victim's position.

The first empathy leads to the observer becoming emotionally neutral to the situation, since you've felt both positions, unless the observer is only in the presence of one of the people, in which case they normally side with them until they hear/think of the other sides.

Being neutral then leaves only logic and ethics, which, because of the lack of emotion for either side, make a cold impersonal judgement on the matter. (This empathy isn't used all the time, nor perfect)
This is a really good point. Fi in the first position can bring a sort of all-embracing empathy which is actually impersonal.

Also, the most intellectually sharp person I know happen to be an INFP, so...

Underneath it all they still come across as sensitive and vulnerable, though (not on the outside, as you write).
 

Udog

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I prefer the term 'disillusionment'.

Edit: To clarify, I had a disillusionment with humanity more than a distaste for it. I had to get over that, and quit punishing myself and the world for not living up to my lofty ideals.
 

runvardh

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Atypical is a typical INFP trait... :rolli:
 

Chris_in_Orbit

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Never did like the rainbow and unicorn descriptions I always found. I have no idea why they are like that but...meh, I still believe I am an INFP.

A few things that I don't agree with:

Selflessness: Not sure, maybe at one point I really did think of others first but after being used and trampled over I have learned to assert myself.

Never Find Perfection: This is true enough but it doesn't make me unhappy. I mean, I really have learned to appreciate all the things that I have rather than pining for the things I don't.

Strong dislike for conflict: Um, no. I don't like conflict with myself and someone I am uncomfortable with/don't know but I am notorious for arguing with my friends about their beliefs and calling them out when they are inconsistent...I even secretly enjoy getting into conflicts with friends about things because after it is over we become closer as friends.

Keep in mind that even though I test as an INFP, I do test relatively high on Ti so maybe that makes me less like "normal" INFPs.
 

dorareever

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I've been called insensitive by some Fe types because my empathy is all embracing, and, yes, impersonal. I also suppose that the cartoon description of types is always unfair to them, and maybe with INFP's this happens even more often since we tend to, uhm, confuse people. :yes:

But that said it's mostly a matter of semantics; I think that we are indeed prone to smooth things out, but not in a let's all agree and wub each other Fe kind of way,more as in always provide the balance when the balance is off. Sometimes this requires stirring things up. We love conflict sometimes, because it can restore harmony.
 

Delphyne

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Keep in mind that even though I test as an INFP, I do test relatively high on Ti so maybe that makes me less like "normal" INFPs.

What´s a normal INFP? It´s true that some INFP descriptions emphasis this dislike for conflict, which doesn´t fit me either. Fortunately, there are other descriptions with far lesser amounts of dancing elves and magical unicorns. Naomi Quenk lists three important features of dominant introverted feeling, which are inner harmony, economy of emotional expression and acceptance of feeling as nonlogical.

Inner harmony explains to me why I sometimes like to start conflicts. The outer harmony isn´t really important to me, but inside I need to be in harmony. If I´m not sure about someone´s motives or my values get attacked I will bring my inner conflict outside. By starting a conflict with someone I try to gain inner harmony.

Economy of emotional expression - The more emotional people will express their feeling values, the colder I will get. Being overtly emotional feels kind of fake to me and I can´t go along.
 

Udog

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Enneagram becomes useful at this point. INFP E4s are generally regarded as the most common and, to me, fit the 'typical' INFP description a bit better than other Enneagram types.

I find myself relating to the INFP E4, but at the same time don't handle my emotions the same way they do.
 
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