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  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default sx/so enfps and social status/games

    For those enfps who are sx/so can you discuss how you view social status?

    I (sp/sx enfp) am struggling a bit as of late I have noted what seems to be social games of some sort from sx/so enfps around me. Its like they are insecure in their own social standing, so look for ways to inform me of how they are better than me. Ill be honest that I go months oblivious (and intentionally ignoring) this behavior, as social status is rather meaningless to me, lol, and I just keep on forging ahead. That is, until they do something overtly obnoxious and too obvious to pretend it is an accidental misspoken comment.

    With one of the enfps, I just keep on keeping on, because, in all honesty, I outshine that person in competency. I cant play the social status game, but I can play the "as you can see by my skills at execution, I appear to be exceptionally competent, so uh, yeah...." and shrug my shoulders. With some of the others, I am placed in a position of being disrespected, assuming it is with the goal of making them feel more confident about themselves and that simply isnt ok. I dont play the social status game, but Im also not a doormat either.

    What are ways to support an sx/so enfp, so they dont feel insecure and do feel valued? I assume taking the high road and learning to care for them is much better than playing ugly games, so would prefer to just see them happy and secure, and not be ugly in return when they behave a bit not nicely. They are genuinely good people with good values, but I think they are just in a negative moment.

  2. #2

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    I am not sure that people acting like @#$&s has anything to do with personality types.
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  3. #3
    Talk to me. Merced's Avatar
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    Yeah, sx/so ENFP here. You shouldn't feel responsible for keeping someone else's insecurities in check. I also don't think that instinctual variant has anything to do with that to begin with. You should be direct and tell them to stop projecting.

    And in regards to how I see social status, I see it as good to have and only bad if you lose it. It really only factors when my goals are people oriented and even then, there are things I just won't do for the sake of other people's approval. One thing I read that I thought only applied to me but is actually a common sx/so thing, sx/so people would much rather commit social suicide than feel like they are spiraling into a direction they don't want. An example would be me completely trashing my inner circle just because I didn't think they met my standards of intimacy.

    Yuck, I could totally phrase that better but I really can't pin the words at the moment.

    I think your friend wouldn't exactly be running into this issue if they were an sx/so ENFP. Maybe they're so dom? Maybe they are an INFP? Even if they were in an Si grip, open-mindedness and some level of self-improvement is pretty common throughout all ENFPs. I also think that if they were sx dom, they would have more tact in describing these insecurities to you. Are you close to them? This is just an observation, but sx doms only let you in on how they really feel if they really want you to know. Otherwise it is no one's business and no one will know. Are they bragging about their social status to get closer to anyone or to emphasize how well off they are?
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