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  1. #1
    Junior Member wu lan's Avatar
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    Default How can I gently remove naivety?

    It's not always that I go all blind to what usually refered as common sense, but when it does, it's something very small but matter. Gives me the nagging feeling like when you have 98/100 in exam. Like it is just a bit more and I messed up.

    I wonder how to be more assertive about my choice rather than naively using my own brand of sense that is too subjective. It's actually a trait that is very dear to me and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it brings me trouble and I want to make myself better. Maybe it's not even naivety, maybe just lack of experience?

    Is going out more with people will fix it naturally? become more aware with society value?

  2. #2
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    Why does it bring you trouble?

  3. #3
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I can definitely see situations in which it would bring you some stress or trouble in your life.. I suffered from the same.

    Usually, life experience helps the most when it comes to some situations.. and.. this is the age of information! You can look at youtube videos, and official websites for a lot of resources and information to educate yourself on a particular issue or aspect before going into it. Urban dictionary, psychology websites, youtube sensations like Charisma on Command and car mechanical sites, etc. etc. If there is a particular aspect of a problem bugging you, you can usually learn about it online. The problem is, there are sooo many things you can be naive about..

    Be honest with yourself too. It helps a lot. Is it that you're naive because of a lack of exposure and knowledge? Or a lack of wanting exposure and knowledge? Many people are very naive about human instincts and how humans interact with each other because they're only exposed to a small segment of it all. Sometimes it can be frustrating to see something that is not your ideal and assume your lack of knowledge is to blame... and really, it is a lack of reaching out for knowledge and lack of acceptance causing grief.

    Of course, follow basic safety things. If you're a little naive about people's intentions on the streets, or that salesman that seems sooo genuine... Just ask someone you trust to help you out. No shame in it, everyone needs help.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    The process of talking about things actually will help you to see situations more accurately. It's not even dependent on the other person's response, but rather in articulating what isn't working for you or how you don't measure up to the ideals you'd like to. Life experience will help as well, as long as you reflect on how different things worked out. Also having a little counsel of sober second thought of people you can trust regarding bigger choices can be helpful in providing a balanced perspective as they will have access to different life experiences than you, and may have different perspectives from you.
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  5. #5
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    There are two kinds of naiveté, one is a gullibility that can seem ignorant and kind of lazy (always trust others to think for you). It often comes across as narrow-minded and does involve a lack of exposure. This can lead to bad decisions & even prejudice. The other is more of a guileless, trusting quality, often associated with idealism. I am reminded of Dostoevsky's The Idiot. I think the latter can be common to NFs, and I am not sure it is a fault at all.

    I made a conscious decision that I did not want to be cynical (although it is something I fight). I would rather see the best in people & use the best interpretation possible, because with this lens, I act as my best self, and I get better results.

    Sure, sometimes this may make me naive, but in the end, I find I still come out on top. By not being suspicious of people and instead ascribing them good motives, they often live up to it, much as they might live up to a negative view (and often that happens because we begin of a confirmation bias). If that person does "take advantage" of this, they still often lose in the long-run, because if my integrity is intact then they have really taken nothing from me. I see it more as faith & generosity now than naiveté, and any cynicism I have as a lack of faith.

    Of course, I have an INFP perspective, so for me, the backbone is acting with integrity and values that are like guiding themes in life, so anything else will just be silly gaffes and nothing to feel shame over or that will ruin your life.

    As far as practicalities of life, I say go out there and make mistakes. So you spend too much money on something; so what, it's just money. Ask dumb questions about stuff that everyone else seems to just know the answer to (for me, this is often stuff related to practical tasks, such making appointments or taking care of a car; I don't seem to readily grasp what is necessary for everyday maintenance in life). Youtube & google it, if needed.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #6
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Blame Ni, or embrace it. Ni is the culprit here. It's inherent in our nature.

  7. #7

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    You can't force the removal. It takes years of experience for the blind folds to come down and even then, are we as humans capable of ever truly understanding and know absolutely everything there is to know about the universe at large?
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  8. #8
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    I wish I could offer some help, but everyone above has already gave you some very good ideas.

    I wouldn't fight it too much though. Sometimes I think that's just how people are naturally. I have an older friend who is about four decades older and there has been a whole handful of situations in her life that have her saying, "I've always been so naive". I knew she was being naive, but what was I supposed to tell her? She's that many years older than me and she's lived her life in a great way even with that trait so there's nothing to really try and change at that point.

    Best of luck.

  9. #9

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    What particular areas of your life does this concern?
    Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

    Meet Richard P. Feynman

  10. #10
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Actually naivety is necessary to believe in mbti or astrology.

    And if you want that deep feeling of belonging on this site it is necessary to believe in mbti and astrology.

    So let me help you: Carl Jung himself, the founder of Psychological Types, was an astrologer.

    Mrs Nancy Reagan guided the Presidency of the United States of America with astrology, click on Sister of Nancy Reagan Astrologer: "Nancy Listened Religiously to What Joan Had to Say" | Hollywood Reporter

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