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  1. #1
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Default settle for less?

    this is especially for any NFP out there, has this idea ever struck you?
    what i mean by settling for less is simply: to basically find your dreams is almost impossible to reach, and thus, you just decided to settle for less, less than your dreams & your aspirations (or dreams).

    for these past few days, i've been watching this very wonderful japanese dorama, which is an adaptation from a manga "Honey and Clover" (does anybody know?) , and it's basically telling about 5 art students, and how each of them has their own life difficulties & problems, and how they each face it, help each other, and eventually grow themselves. the series (as like many japanese dramas, which is why i like it a lot) often have some intense contemplative & thoughtful questions about Life, work, and relationship.

    Of those 5 characters, one of them i can relate the most, because he's sort of like an INFP (I figured) : a shy, quiet, yet also gentle, sweet guy, but he always found it very hard to be settled in something (some job), or don't know what he has to do! he struggled to find on what he has to do, and at one point he even thought of settling for less!
    although eventually, at the end of the drama series, he did find what he wants to do (passionate) without any single doubt, also because of help from his best-friend (a girl) !

    and then, there's one time during his indecisiveness, his teacher said one thing: "Yuta, in this world, there's probably only one in a million, to be able to do what they love and enjoy it. And it's even less amount of people to be able to do what they REALLY love & have been their dreams!"
    basically, he told him to not be indecisive, and perhaps: "settle for less".
    don't be too idealistic or 'dream' too much.

    Anyway, i've kinda paused at the end of the series, and asking myself the same questions like that one character did : what if, since i often lost interest in anything, especially during the focus & details part, I just decided that my dreams would probably be the SAME at the end: that i probably wouldn't find it will satisfy me very much in the end, ie: in Reality, it's not like what it is in my dreams!
    And thus, is it perhaps better to just settle for less, as to not add a burden of ultra-dissapoinments?
    or, should i keep dream high (Roosevelt once said that "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams", and i guess i still resonate with it, and would really like to believe in it!) and aspire to get my ultimate dreams fulfilled, no matter how "almost impossible" it may seems at first ?

    and what about u guys?
    have any of u ever felt this?
    have any of you finally decided that your dreams is impossible to reach, and thus, you just settled for less ?
    and afterwards, did you find yourself more happy, or much miserable than before? (ie: maybe because of neglecting ur true-est passion & dreams?, or you're just mad at yourself, or Life in general?)

    let's share.

  2. #2
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Damn, I often have to because I can't do it all in my lifetime. Individual dreams, on the other hand, I could achieve if I put the effort forward - it's all in what you want to sacrifice to get there. I wonder if I really am low-balling myself...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  3. #3
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    I think that we need to find what goes with our purpose. That is a connection that will motivate you and inspire you no matter what level you do it at.

    Dreams are usually to elusive for me to believe they can exist as I envision them exactly... They are more of the direction I need to head.

    Find your purpose, there will be your meaning for doing what you do, how much you have to put in and sacrifice will all be besides the point.

  4. #4
    Member LavaLucy's Avatar
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    Default

    I've seen Honey and Clover

    I've thought about this too... and when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere and everyone commenting how I'm not getting anywhere and how if I would only be more like something/someone else maybe I would.
    And then I think: okay, they're right, it's right, I'll do/be this other thing instead and it will be much easier.
    Only I can't stick to it! Even if I wanted to give up what ever my so called dreams are I can't, it can't be done I tell you! Perhaps I will just end up being terribly disappointed but I don't find I have a choice.
    I guess MAYBE (?) it depends on what the dream entails.

  5. #5
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LavaLucy View Post
    I've thought about this too... and when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere and everyone commenting how I'm not getting anywhere and how if I would only be more like something/someone else maybe I would.
    And then I think: okay, they're right, it's right, I'll do/be this other thing instead and it will be much easier.
    Only I can't stick to it! Even if I wanted to give up what ever my so called dreams are I can't, it can't be done I tell you! Perhaps I will just end up being terribly disappointed but I don't find I have a choice.
    I guess MAYBE (?) it depends on what the dream entails.
    yay, somebody who've also watched this awesome movie!
    can you explain more what you mean by it depends on what the dream entails?

  6. #6
    Senior Member surgery's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LavaLucy View Post
    I've seen Honey and Clover
    Only I can't stick to it! Even if I wanted to give up what ever my so called dreams are I can't, it can't be done I tell you! Perhaps I will just end up being terribly disappointed but I don't find I have a choice.
    I agree with LavaLucy. Even if you decide to follow an easier path, you probably won't end up any happier because the easier, more realistic route will be more unsatisfactory than trying and, potentially, failing to achieve your dreams.

  7. #7
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    If everyone followed their dreams wouldn't there be huge masses of unemployed actors, artists, musicians and astronauts out there?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Into It's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    If everyone followed their dreams wouldn't there be huge masses of unemployed actors, artists, musicians and astronauts out there?
    There are. Except for the astronauts - because if you fail at being an astronaut you can't just keep showing up at NASA hoping to get a job.

    I think the key is to focus on why you have the dreams that you have. You have a dream because you want to feel a certain way. People acquire wealth for this same reason, and many who focus too much on the material aspect wind up smothering themselves. Acquiring exactly what you want is difficult - but maybe you can bypass the physical goal by being aware of your emotional state. I think about that a lot. The "happy janitor."

  9. #9
    Senior Member 563 740's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Into It View Post
    There are. Except for the astronauts - because if you fail at being an astronaut you can't just keep showing up at NASA hoping to get a job.

    I think the key is to focus on why you have the dreams that you have. You have a dream because you want to feel a certain way. People acquire wealth for this same reason, and many who focus too much on the material aspect wind up smothering themselves. Acquiring exactly what you want is difficult - but maybe you can bypass the physical goal by being aware of your emotional state. I think about that a lot. The "happy janitor."
    Extremes: Need To Pursue

    I like my cars fast, my music loud, and my women even faster and louder!

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    You reminded me of one of the funniest posters I've ever seen from despair.com

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