[ENFP] I think I've upset an ENFP friend of mine. Help?!

[katieoddsocks]

So I'm an INFP and I'm pretty sure my best friend is an ENFP.

We usually we have a very close bond, but every so often she becomes very flaky. She begins to ignore text messages, cancel plans, make excuses etc, and just expects me to be okay with it. She'll tell me she's feeling "anti-social" but then the next minute she'll go out with other friends. She's also prone to depression and heavy mood-swings as well so this makes her push me away even more (ENFPs hate talking about their feelings when they're sad).

Well, this kept on happening recently and being the conflict-avoidant INFP that I am I tried to keep the peace and continue to be nice to her. But it got to a point where she was being so on and off with me that I began to feel used. She kept posting this subliminal Facebook posts like "I wish people would leave me alone" etc, which I took quite personally. I ended up commenting something like "geez I get the hint! You hate people" intended as a joke but she took it seriously and stormed off out of my life and deleted her account.

She hasn't spoken to me since and it's been 2 weeks. I've thought about contacting her and apologizing but from past experience I know that she probably needs space right now. Since I've known her we've encountered this problem a lot. She becomes flaky and I become concerned but she has a lot of trouble communicating her feelings to me so we end up falling out for a while.

Anyone know a better way to deal with this situation? Are there any ENFPs who can give me insight into why this keeps happening between us? Should I apologize to her or just leave her alone for a while?

 

[ceecee]

My ENFP friends have also done things like this. Since I'm not very conflict avoidant, I will ask them what bug crawled up their ass. They get mad and storm off. They always come back but they do get in anti-social/I hate people/leave me alone moods. Don't try to fix it, don't try to talk to them, don't do anything. This isn't about you and and stop trying to fix it or keep the peace. I know this is hard but do it anyway.

 

[Lady_X]

i don't really relate to that being an enfp thing. seems weird. idk but i agree with ceecee. just leave it. let the weird enfp deal with her own shit.

 

[Poki]

find a better more compatible friend

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

 

[Lia_kat]

They always come back but they do get in anti-social/I hate people/leave me alone moods.

Yep.

find a better more compatible friend

This is what I'm thinking, especially because it sounds like a pattern vs. situational. I relate to needing alone time and having mood swings but I'm not flaky with my close friends nor would I storm out of their lives without an explanation.
[MENTION=19857]katieoddsocks[/MENTION], if you want you can send her a simple message saying that you are thinking of her and hope you can talk soon; pulling at her heartstrings may trigger a response. But leave it at that, you should not have to beg for her to communicate. If your friendship is of any importance to her, she'll come around.

 

[Puffypolma]

Doesn't sound like what a good friend should do. Maybe you should leave her forever until she realizes how ridiculous she is

 

[Norrsken]

Yeah. I had a friend like that once.
Key word: once.