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  1. #11
    Junior Member meta's Avatar
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    I realize this is an old thread (found it as a cross-reference from another one), but wanted to chime in with my personal experience.

    I was married to an ISFJ for 16 1/2 years. It started well and ended badly. Looking back, the biggest conflict was the N/S thing - he used to swear I could "see around corners," which caused real problems especially toward the end when he had a lot of things he wanted to hide. (He now has problems in this area with our son, who is also an N.)

    The fact that he had a very unhealthy relationship with his mother didn't exactly help matters, but that was only type-related in that ultimately he felt more of a loyalty to her (blood family) than he did to me.

    I believe that he is married to another S now.
    Last edited by meta; 07-08-2010 at 12:55 PM.
    Instead of pointing a finger, reach out your hand.

  2. #12
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gloomy-optimist View Post
    My bff ("soulmate") is ESTP, and it really is spectacular. We get along well, and there's really never a boring moment.
    INFJ: Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
    ESTP: Se, Ti, Fe, Ni
    Our main functions are exactly inverted. We really help balance each other out :B
    Shadow type, there's a long list of those not working out and I'm on it. Seems promising like driving a sports car down a twisty mountain road until you figure out there are no brakes.

    INFJ/ISFJ I can't see being close to ideal but INFJs seemingly love to punish themselves with the people they surround themselves with and either an ESTP or an ISFJ should do a sufficient job of bleeding you dry.

  3. #13
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Shadow type, there's a long list of those not working out and I'm on it. Seems promising like driving a sports car down a twisty mountain road until you figure out there are no brakes.

    INFJ/ISFJ I can't see being close to ideal but INFJs seemingly love to punish themselves with the people they surround themselves with and either an ESTP or an ISFJ should do a sufficient job of bleeding you dry.
    I thought that is why the perfect match for an INFJ was an ENTP
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  4. #14
    Member Cheshire Grin's Avatar
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    I don't think you should use the guides listed on those sites to determine whether you're going to get along with a person. I also don't think you should use peoples' experiences with ISFJ males to decide if you want to explore your relationship with this particular ISFJ further and/or take it to the next step (which is what you appear to be looking for).

    While MBTI and function analysis can be useful for helping us understand each others' viewpoints and actions, please don't be put off by negative comments about any type and the same goes for positive comments: not all individuals of a type will possess those traits. Yes, we can speak generally, but the truth is that you don't know and you can't know until you actually give it a try. So if you like him and you want to know more, then go for it.

    EDIT: Just realised this is an old thread. Even though TS most likely won't see this, I would say the same thing to anybody else who asked a similar question.
    The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. --A. Rand

  5. #15
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Any thoughts out there on ISTJ and INFJ pairings?

    I'm in one, and I think it's the love/patience that makes it work, because we just do not GET each other. I'll say something, and he'll immediately start weighing it logically. We are such an odd pair.

  6. #16
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    Any thoughts out there on ISTJ and INFJ pairings?

    I'm in one, and I think it's the love/patience that makes it work, because we just do not GET each other. I'll say something, and he'll immediately start weighing it logically. We are such an odd pair.
    I'm glad it is working well for you. The problem comes when not getting each other becomes really tiring, INFJ needs more emotional connection and that becomes just another obligation to ISTJ and thereby resentment creeps in for both. This is not inevitable or anything.

    Here is a thread you might want to look at:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...boyfriend.html

  7. #17
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    I'm glad it is working well for you. The problem comes when not getting each other becomes really tiring, INFJ needs more emotional connection and that becomes just another obligation to ISTJ and thereby resentment creeps in for both. This is not inevitable or anything.

    Here is a thread you might want to look at:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...boyfriend.html
    Thanks, Vasilisa. I do feel a greater need for emotional connection, particularly if something difficult is happening. And I tend to be a little down in mood often, which seems isn't uncommon for an INFJ. I'm heading over to the thread you just linked to... is this an experience you've had?

  8. #18
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    You're most welcome, mochajava. Yes, my experience, which I have pondered out loud on many different threads.

    How do ISTJs express love

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...n-sensors.html

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ationship.html

    Best of luck to you

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