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  1. #31
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    Thanks again, all. These responses continue to answer my question.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Eric, a theory for you. Is it more about what you want to control and not if that is linked to type?
    I don't quite get "what" I want to control part.
    The question is strictly about type, not my own need, though that does come into play in making sure of the better type fit.

    BTW, since you do know something about FIRO, what all of this is getting at here, is what is called "expressed Control". (And yours was high, and in one statistical correlation, NT's in general were high, but not NF's. Yet, since I'm going against Keirsey's link of NF to the Choleric, I just wanted to find out if control issues were maybe an aspect missed by the statistics and descriptions).
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

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  2. #32
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Thank you. That was a very clear explanation, Eric.

    So now I am wondering if the responses different personality types have when their need to control is thwarted figures somewhere into the equation. . .
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #33
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    I don't quite get "what" I want to control part.
    The question is strictly about type, not my own need, though that does come into play in making sure of the better type fit.

    BTW, since you do know something about FIRO, what all of this is getting at here, is what is called "expressed Control". (And yours was high, and in one statistical correlation, NT's in general were high, but not NF's. Yet, since I'm going against Keirsey's link of NF to the Choleric, I just wanted to find out if control issues were maybe an aspect missed by the statistics and descriptions).
    Not you you, ninny. The universal you. What is controlled. What does the subject want to control. That is linked to their type not specifically the want to control itself.

    I make a good example, I do not wish to control people's actions but I do wish to control their perspective, at times overly so. It is because I believe they're getting it wrong due to an error in perspective, right or wrong. I don't think their definitions are correct and hence their results are incorrect. This maps very well to the INTP type, being the 'definer'. Hence it's not the presence or absence of wanting control that is related to my type but what I want control over. I'm still not going to tell you that you dress wrong or listen to the wrong type of music, well unless I'm trying to get a rise out of you, but I will argue if I think you aren't defining things correctly (I think I'm proving my own argument now actually ).
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #34
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    I cannot berlieve you just said Ninny.
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  5. #35
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    OK then, I guess it could be to either control people's actions, or perspective (due to thinking their way is incorrect, or in other words, your way is correct). Though perhaps this might be one of those things where all people do that at times. The "expressed Control" behavior I'm talking about would be more about how much you push your way on others. (in less than altruistic actions).
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

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  6. #36
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    OK then, I guess it could be to either control people's actions, or perspective (due to thinking their way is incorrect, or in other words, your way is correct). Though perhaps this might be one of those things where all people do that at times. The "expressed Control" behavior I'm talking about would be more about how much you push your way on others. (in less than altruistic actions).
    So expressed control is equal to being pushy? Okay I can see that... it doesn't necessarily sit comfortably with me but I'm thinking that's more denial on my part. I guess it boils down to whether being puchy/ controlling is necessarily wrong...
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  7. #37
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillyGoose View Post
    I cannot berlieve you just said Ninny.
    English. Eccentric. Like hullo...



    (Psychology note, I'm a positive feedback person who's raised by negative feedback. Hence I tend to do the whole verbal puch on the arm. It's not intended as an insult... more just being playful.)
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  8. #38
    Senior Member Dom's Avatar
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    OP:

    I have power issues. For a long while I felt dis-empowered in my life, I was unhappy and being walked on by others, my own unique identity was being (or attempting to be) pressed into what someone/group wanted for me.

    Eventually I retook control of my life so that I could re-establish my identity and remind people whose life it was that I had allowed them to play with (which I should never have done) this meant I had the power to change the situation all along. It was when i'[d had enough of my identity being messed with that I finally reasserted control and put my life back on a path which suits who I am.

    Do I desire power? Do I wish to control? God yes, but I don't think this is a type issue. Lay aside everything you know about whether it is fair to control people, and ask if there are things that others do you wish they didn't or you wish they did more of? We all want to control something about others. I desperately want to control what people think of me, whether they think I'm worth spending time with, whether they think I'm fun, likable, a positive person to know etc. At the same time I have to maintain that unique identity so unable to alter myself to be loved/liked/respected I'm left with a desire to manipulate others perceptions of me. Or rather correct their perceptions of me (because I am a lovable/likable and worthy of respect). However, I try not to do this as it mostly results in my complicating something or doing something that ends up detrimental to others and I don't want that.

    I do not think I consciously try to control peoples actions, but then as people take action based upon how they perceive the world maybe this is all semantics?

  9. #39
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    I just read the thread title as "Do NFs have power and control kisses?" Why yes, yes they do.

    I'm not sure if I prefer "...'power and control' kisses," or "...power, and 'control kisses.'"

  10. #40
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    ...
    ^^ ENFP... Meglomaniac...




    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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