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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    The problem with this planet is that people concern me even when I don't WANT to care anymore.
    Yes, absolutely.

    I think, to the outside world, I might appear more uncaring than I actually am. I am very warm inside but I come off as cold. Most of the time I'm too passive when I see somebody that could use some help. I think about helping them but I hold most my emotions within me, out of fear to seem obtrusive. When people turn to me for help, I will try to do the best I can to help them. But I don't run around the town looking for people to help.

  2. #32
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    This is a serious thread.

    I know a few ENFJ's and maybe one or two INFJ's and these people are seriously too nice to be true. They really do go out of their way to make sure everyone is happy. Are they really as nice inside as they are outside? This is a serious inquiry. Also, what is your reasoning from a practical or theoretical perspective?

    And to all the xNFJ's don't be shy, whats your perspective.
    you know what? i know i'm a smartass, and i seek the Truth and i like to fancy myself a 'master debator' ala austin powers (that's for you, syn!), i suspect all because of my strong Te..........

    but i really am very nice and very waarrrrmmmmm. i honestly see the best in everyone and when i smile at you and engage with you, i'm really not faking it at all. i think you're awesome and i want to know about you. what makes you tick, what i can do for you. i do judge you initially, size you up, and maybe even categorize/label you in my brain--i can't help it--but then i give you the benefit of the doubt and wish only the best for you. hard as it may be to believe, there is no underlying malevolence.

    i'm always willing to give you another chance too. much to my own detriment sometimes. i would rather suffer emotionally (because i am just more able to suffer) and sacrifice my own 'happiness' than watch a loved one suffer.

    the world is hard on us. reminds me of that character in that book, "the secret life of bees." the one girl that feels the worlds' pain. i can't really read bad news anymore or it sticks in my brain and makes me feel bad.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  3. #33
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I rub his ears and he sheds on me. It's a win-win.
    girl, you are sooo funny! hah!
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  4. #34
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Yes, absolutely.

    I think, to the outside world, I might appear more uncaring than I actually am. I am very warm inside but I come off as cold. Most of the time I'm too passive when I see somebody that could use some help. I think about helping them but I hold most my emotions within me, out of fear to seem obtrusive. When people turn to me for help, I will try to do the best I can to help them. But I don't run around the town looking for people to help.
    Well naturally we don't want to interject ourselves. That's something that's held me back many times myself. I get shy at the worst moments.

    I've had to learn to be selective (or MORE selective) about who I allow to take my energy. It can inflict heavy casualties if I don't get selective. I have too many fires to put out to go actively seeking more. I'm not a martyr or a do-gooder. I think the other NFJs get what I mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    girl, you are sooo funny! hah!
    Why fankee!

    He's such a sugar mouse! When the other cats are mobbing me and being quite rude, he gets up on the railing and waits for me to make my rounds, and then I hang out with him. He's freakishly soft. He was very timid the first years we had him (he and his brother are both very shy and sensitive), so I spent some time desensitizing him to being touched. He really loves it now, but I think only because I'm so careful with him. You have to be polite. hhahaha... silly critters... At least he isn't big enough to push me around the yard with his nose like my horse did.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #35
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    If I don't get the right vibe from someone, they don't get my good side very often. I'm like a porcupine, the soft spot is hidden because of the predators, but if I think you're type that'll rub my belly I'll roll over for you

    As a deep introvert, though, my empathy is fairly weak, and reading Pink's posts helps me understand that empathy isn't exactly all that it's cracked up to be.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  6. #36

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    I hope that we are as nice as that and live up to what you have perceived. Personally I do want a softer gentler world without conflict where people respect one another and get along. It is kind of like that Dixie Chicks song "More Love." However, the world is obviously not always like that, but INFJ's probably strive to find their own little microcosm where they can create a softer gentler world...and I think we are more prone to activism for equality and peace. At least, I know I am and I have heard the same about other INFJ's. I will say that I get judgemental about people who are judgemental--haha if that makes sense. I am judgemental if you are not open-minded! I really hate it when people think everyone should follow the status quo and that they are somehow deficient or bad if they don't. These are people who can sometimes be really draining to me. Hope this helps!

  7. #37
    Senior Member FC3S's Avatar
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    I don't trust ENFJs. They're friendly, and very supportive, but there is a certain barrier they will not be allowed to cross.

    As for INFJs, they actually make some kind of sense. If they're on my side, they make it clear as day. If they're not on my side or are someone in the wild - I tread with caution.
    ESTP - Definition: "Love" is making a shot to the knees of a target a 120 km away, with an aratech sniper rifle and tri-light scope.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #38
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    I can't speak for everyone else but I know that I can come off very cold and unapproachable, even conceited and snobbish to those who don't know me. It's a wall I put up because I don't feel comfortable with certain "types" of people. So in that regard I tend to be somewhat judgemental by placing people in categories - people I can relate to, and people I cannot relate to. I can be very cold to those who fall under the people I cannot relate to category - usually the overly-bubbly, extroverted trend following types that wears me out with their seemingly artificial and energy-draining personalities. But if they ever find themselves in a difficult situation or struggle which shows a more sincere side of them I begin to warm up to them. I am however very warm and sincere to those I respect and care about even if I don't show it with hugs and kisses.

  9. #39
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Depends on the person.

    The NFJ's unique interpersonal skills are used for good by some, and evil by others.

    Most NFJs convince themselves that whatever they're doing is somehow FOR the greater good, but whether or not it's actually good will depend on what sort of morals they absorbed from the environment they grew up in. (Supposedly, Fe tends to take its moral bearings more from the external environment than does Fi.)
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  10. #40
    Senior Member amelie's Avatar
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    I really do care about people - it's sincere, not an act or whatever. I'm close to be an xNFJ, but lean a little to the I side, so it may be different for people who are more extreme in the introvert direction, but I need people around me, and I also need a lot of time alone, because connecting with people is both important to me and also taxing. I can come off as aloof at first, and I agree with the person who said that with age, I've gotten better about deciding whom to let in and connect with - so some people don't get past that initial first impression. But if I commit to a relationship with someone, I'm pretty much in it whole heartedly, and will do whatever I can to be helpful and supportive.

    I'm married to an INTJ, and I don't get the comment about INTJ's and INFJ's being the same. My husband, who is admittedly only one INTJ, is just fine not being around others and doesn't particularly care to connect with anyone outside of his close friends. He's also not particularly empathic. That is very different from me - I can almost not avoid connect with other people's feelings (even if I don't know them) and introjecting into the situation. I have to be very careful who I hang with and what I watch or read or it can become overwhelming to me - that is not at all like an INTJ. Just MO.

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