[NF] NF hypersensitivity

[laughing dolphin]

The definition of hypersensitive is excessively sensitive. Excessive is also in the definition of overblown. Overblown emotions is the same thing as hypersensitivity.

See there I would argue that the terms "excessive" and "overblown" are both loaded terms that need not necessarily be part of the discussion.
LD

 

[Totenkindly]

So I guess that makes me "hypersensitive"...then again, I think the term certainly does seem to have a negative ring to it, doesn't it? As in, "my GOD, you are so SENSITIVE!" And I'm not one of those that takes umbrage at every little thing...

Exactly. The word perhaps can be used in other contexts, but the typical encounter with the word is when it's used to mean "far too sensitive" or "inappropriately over-sensitive" -- as a criticism, not as a mere description. That's the common vernacular. A different word choice would have helped.

Elaine Aron has popularized the phrase "Highly Sensitive," for people who are emotionally and physically sensitive to stimulation. This is a bit different than NF per se, but she was wise enough to avoid the "hypersensitive" faux pas.

The sort of sensitivity we're talking about, well couldn't we just call it emotional/spiritual sensitivity? It's like Cole Seer in "The Sixth Sense," who is acutely sensitive to the spirits of the deceased -- except here NFs are generally acutely sensitive to the emotional emanations of people and their current "state of being." They are tied into the context and pattern of the person in question and are very aware of when something is "off" and even know how to interpret that sort of perception. Emotional state is part of this, certainly, but not all of what NFs are sensing.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Exactly. The word perhaps can be used in other contexts, but the typical encounter with the word is when it's used to mean "far too sensitive" or "inappropriately over-sensitive" -- as a criticism, not as a mere description. That's the common vernacular. A different word choice would have helped.

The irony would be kinda cute if we all get too offended by the word choice 'hypersensitivity'.

Not sure this is related, but sometimes individuals with Downs Syndrome have a less sensitive nervous system and are more prone to have accidents of sorts. I've wondered if a highly active brain could be related to an easily stimulated CNS. Simply, I wonder if intelligence could have a stronger relationship to sensitivity to stimuli than temperament? (Worth stating that sensitivity to stimuli and degree of reaction are only loosely related)

 

[Totenkindly]

The irony would be kinda cute if we all get too offended by the word choice 'hypersensitivity'.

Well... I wasn't even going to bring it up... but then all the NFs got so touchy about it!!!

Not sure this is related, but sometimes individuals with Downs Syndrome have a less sensitive nervous system and are more prone to have accidents of sorts. I've wondered if a highly active brain could be related to an easily stimulated CNS. Simply, I wonder if intelligence could have a stronger relationship to sensitivity to stimuli than temperament? (Worth stating that sensitivity to stimuli and degree of reaction are only loosely related)

I'm not sure. A highly active brain might be focused on other things and be able to ignore the stimulation, or it could go the other way and notice much more stimulation than less active brains would. (But it is a good point to note that just because there is no external reaction to stimulation doesn't mean that the person isn't perceiving it a great deal internally.)

 

[laughing dolphin]

Yes, I'm very familiar with Elaine Aron and her term "highly sensitive' - and I agree with her, that some people just seem to have a nervous system that is "wired" a bit differently, that's a little more finely tuned, if you will (and yes, in many cases, more easily overwhelmed). For me, it's an emotional and physical thing - meaning I pick up on people's emotional states easily but also have quite a few physical sensitivities as well. Honestly, I think it's a great thing having this hyperawareness. Except for the fact that I often get itchy in my clothes and I can hear things that my husband sleeps through (can we talk about the sound of a gentle wind blowing across wind chimes in the middle of the night?), etc., etc., etc...
LD

 

[substitute]

I think what people mean, when they say 'sensitive' in a derogatory way (the usual way), is they're talking about a person who is actually very insensitive. That is, they're always so self-obsessed, always thinking the world's got nothing better to do than talk/think/plot about them, so much so that they totally don't notice what a pain in the ass it makes them into for everyone else. Or how much it hurts other people when their benevolent comments are taken as criticisms and insults every time, and they have to walk around on eggshells.

I'd actually say those sorts of people are not sensitive at all. I'd say that sensitive, the way I use the word, means someone who is sensitive to others' thoughts, needs and feelings, picking up on them and responding appropriately. Which is a good thing to be. As opposed to someone who is only sensitive to their own feelings, and expects everyone else to be all the time, even though they don't notice others' feelings. Which is a bad way to be.

 

[Athenian200]

Would you call yourself hypersensitive?

Sensitivity implies acute awareness of an entity, so in this case I have in mind an acute awareness of emotion.

Yes, in the following ways (I'm not sure which is most relevent):

1. Sensory: I can't stand loud noises, rapid or random movement, or being poked. I feel ill and angry when forced to face these.

2. Emotionally: If someone gets upset, I notice this, and it can ruin my whole day, because it makes me feel upset too. Crying can make me cry, and worry can make me feel anxious.

3. Generally: The slightest deviation from routine, or possibility of something bad happening causes me to panic. I'm kind of obsessed with knowing what's going to happen, and if I don't, I feel frightened, like I'm out of control.

These are probably just the side-effects of being a strong Judging type, coupled with weak Se. What do you think?

 

[heart]

I consider myself uncomfortably sensitive to others emotions, pick up their "vibes" way too easily and intensely and for that reason I often do what I can to shield myself from over emotional people, especially those with too much Fe.

I have very little tolerance for people who live their lives as an intentional roller coaster of emotion unmitigated by reason, emotion just for the sake of feeling emotion. Being around them is like someone running nails down a chalk board.

Feeling is valid and good and there for a reason, but some people are emotion junkies and I resent when they attempt to inflict their drama prone life on mine. Feeling should be respected and treated as the fine gift it is, not overblown into an overwhelming distraction and joy ride.

 

[heart]

2. Emotionally: If someone gets upset, I notice this, and it can ruin my whole day, because it makes me feel upset too. Crying can make me cry, and worry can make me feel anxious.

I feel the same and that is what I was trying to express and not doing the best job of it. This is why I resent when emotion/drama junkies come around me crying and wailing about the latest *disaster* in their lives when they are not taking care to limit their self created pains and disasters.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I have very little tolerance for people who live their lives as an intentional roller coaster of emotion unmitigated by reason, emotion just for the sake of feeling emotion. Being around them is like someone running nails down a chalk board.

That's interesting. I feel the same exact way and I am Fe dominant.

 

[heart]

That's interesting. I feel the same exact way and I am Fe dominant.

I should have qualified my comment to say people with a lot of over dramatic Fe.

 

[Don Quixote]

That's interesting. I feel the same exact way and I am Fe dominant.

I agree.

Emotional hypersensivity with a reason is cool. (Let's say you broke up with your girlfriend after 2 years). But just crazy outbursts that are completely random are a little off-putting.

 

[Yomama99]

I find them extremely funny and entertaining. Except ENFJs, everytime they say something...they will always add in something funny which at the same time is meant to criticize you at the same time.

 

[heart]

I agree.

Emotional hypersensivity with a reason is cool. (Let's say you broke up with your girlfriend after 2 years). But just crazy outbursts that are completely random are a little off-putting.

Well, I have to say, if it is the fourth girlfriend in a row and the person has learned nothing from the previous relationships and seems to purposely be picking types of girls who they know the relationship is going to be rocky then I find myself short on patience with them. This is the type of thing I am talking about....along with the random crazy outburts about nothing important.

 

[SolitaryWalker]

That's interesting. I feel the same exact way and I am Fe dominant.

I think what he inveighed was people with unhealthy Fe. If that doesnt apply to you than you've probably balanced your Fe with Ni.

 

[CzeCze]

Hypersensitive = Yes, Yes, Yes! [a long post!]

Please tell me this is normal for NFP? NF? ENFP? Otherwise I will think I am maladjusted.

I'm hypersensitive, meaning I perceive everything around me and all that stimulus hits me like a wall. Or I DON'T perceive or clearly 'see' everything around me, but everything has a vibration that hits me like a tidal wave. TOO MUCH. But it also means I 'see' and feel and know things from first glance.

It makes my hypothalamus gland go nuts. That's why I couldn't live in NYC, I would get too overstimulated and never be able to focus long enough to even tie my shoes. That's also goes into my being "hyper".

I'm also hypersensitive in that I always think someone may be reacting or listening to or talking about or looking at me. When I'm in a calm mood, I don't care about these things and welcome interaction with strangers, when I'm stressed I'm hypersensitive to the point of being paranoid -- someone really IS always watching my every move.

I often catch conversations or interactions in restaurants or parties that no one else does -- in the same token, I'm totally oblivious to things that all my friends have heard or seen.

I really can and do look at people and know exactly what they are about, if they are lying, why they are lying, how they really feel about me, how they really feel about ______, etc.

Or maybe I just THINK I do. Damn arrogant ENFPs.

Also hypersensitive in receptivity -- usually when people throw anger or aggression at me and I really don't understand intellectually or emotionally why.

Hypersensitive to moods -- I cannot be around bitchy and/or queeny people. It is toxic for me and pisses me off. Bad habits rub off on me too quick. I cut these people out of my life. Bad moods and environments really affect me. So does sadness, pain, destitution, etc. but this is also partly what motivates me to work towards social justice.

On the flip, HAPPY MUSIC, good moods, bright lights, etc. hit me very quickly and make me very chipper -- even when friends or coworkers are complaining about how annoying or cheesy something is and don't want to go along with it -- I like it! I can't help but sing along to my favorite songs or even start dancing in my room. My family members basically think I'm spastic.

People normally think I'm pretty tough, I've been told I can be intimidating (especially to men), and I'm very good at masking any emotion (especially at work or when I don't want to give people the satisfaction) but when people don't like me and are basically mean to me and it surprises me, when I think this behavior is unwarranted and unfair and I can't reason with it, even if it seems like a small thing, I feel it cruelly and it seriously makes me want to cry...OR break something.

People know about the wanting to break stuff response, but NOBODY knows when I feel like crying.

Are these normal NF/ENFP traits?

 

[Athenian200]

Please tell me this is normal for NFP? NF? ENFP? Otherwise I will think I am maladjusted.

I'm hypersensitive, meaning I perceive everything around me and all that stimulus hits me like a wall. Or I DON'T perceive or clearly 'see' everything around me, but everything has a vibration that hits me like a tidal wave. TOO MUCH. But it also means I 'see' and feel and know things from first glance.

It makes my hypothalamus gland go nuts. That's why I couldn't live in NYC, I would get too overstimulated and never be able to focus long enough to even tie my shoes. That's also goes into my being "hyper".

I'm also hypersensitive in that I always think someone may be reacting or listening to or talking about or looking at me. When I'm in a calm mood, I don't care about these things and welcome interaction with strangers, when I'm stressed I'm hypersensitive to the point of being paranoid -- someone really IS always watching my every move.

I often catch conversations or interactions in restaurants or parties that no one else does -- in the same token, I'm totally oblivious to things that all my friends have heard or seen.

I really can and do look at people and know exactly what they are about, if they are lying, why they are lying, how they really feel about me, how they really feel about ______, etc.

Or maybe I just THINK I do. Damn arrogant ENFPs.

Also hypersensitive in receptivity -- usually when people throw anger or aggression at me and I really don't understand intellectually or emotionally why.

Hypersensitive to moods -- I cannot be around bitchy and/or queeny people. It is toxic for me and pisses me off. Bad habits rub off on me too quick. I cut these people out of my life. Bad moods and environments really affect me. So does sadness, pain, destitution, etc. but this is also partly what motivates me to work towards social justice.

On the flip, HAPPY MUSIC, good moods, bright lights, etc. hit me very quickly and make me very chipper -- even when friends or coworkers are complaining about how annoying or cheesy something is and don't want to go along with it -- I like it! I can't help but sing along to my favorite songs or even start dancing in my room. My family members basically think I'm spastic.

People normally think I'm pretty tough, I've been told I can be intimidating (especially to men), and I'm very good at masking any emotion (especially at work or when I don't want to give people the satisfaction) but when people don't like me and are basically mean to me and it surprises me, when I think this behavior is unwarranted and unfair and I can't reason with it, even if it seems like a small thing, I feel it cruelly and it seriously makes me want to cry...OR break something.

People know about the wanting to break stuff response, but NOBODY knows when I feel like crying.

Are these normal NF/ENFP traits?

I can relate to quite a bit of what you said. I wouldn't have expected that since you're an ENFP, and I'm an INFJ, but yes, I relate very well to much of what you say, especially the over-stimulation, tendency to cut people out when they prove stressful, and thinking you know what others are feeling (although I'm right more often than not).

 

[Sahara]

I can relate to quite a bit of what you said. I wouldn't have expected that since you're an ENFP, and I'm an INFJ, but yes, I relate very well to much of what you say, especially the over-stimulation, tendency to cut people out when they prove stressful, and thinking you know what others are feeling (although I'm right more often than not).

I could relate too, so perhaps it's the NF thing?

Oh the part about always being right about what others are feeling, I hate it when they deny what I can see them feeling too, if I say "what's up" it's because I can read you like a book so please just be honest.

 

[Lateralus]

Would you call yourself hypersensitive?

Sensitivity implies acute awareness of an entity, so in this case I have in mind an acute awareness of emotion.

I voted yes, but it's not like I feel overwhelmed. I'm just aware and I'm capable of blocking it all out.

 

[artie]

Sensitive both ways?

I'm either hypersensitive or extremely sensitive.

I wonder how often sensivity goes both ways, not just concerning oneself.

I suspect it is hyper/sensitivity toward others that generally gives me the ability not to hurt or offend others in a social situation. I suspect this is largely why friends and associates want me around.

Ironically it may be the same sensitivity about myself and things I hold dear that inevitably makes it hard for me to sustain frequent intense gatherings (with many MB types anyway it seems, probably Ts in particular).

I think it is probably better to believe you can overcome undesired personality characteristics even if this is delusional (this is derived from the book "Emotional Vampires" by Al Bernstein). Even when you obviously fail I find people are usually understanding (including Ts) if you explain yourself, what else can anyone do?