User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 11

  1. #1
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    72

    Default What goes inside an NFs head?

    ENTJ-A with an overly underveloped Fi here.
    Please explain what this feelings word means and how can I feel empathy towards other people.
    What is the process that goes on your head when you put yourself inside another person's shoes, how can you feel what someone else is feeling, etc.
    I can't understand that at all so I'm taking the liberty of posting on this sub-forum to ask.
    Likes magpie liked this post

  2. #2
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    792 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    2,880

    Default

    I'm currently working with a pupil with the exact concern as yours This isn't an easy process since it can feel so foreign for an ENTJ, but the first step would be to recognize your own emotions, and feel them strongly. When you feel something, anything really, try to do whatever you can to exaggerate those emotions, and really feel them. For example, if I feel sad, I turn on sad music and cry my heart out. If I feel happy, I like to get outside and socialize. I also like to express my emotions through art. Doing such activities will make it easier for you to recognize what emotions your feeling, and what exactly, brought on those emotions for you.

    Don't brush them aside or feel they are of no use to you. Trust me, once you have a strong enough grasp on your own emotions, you can then start to feel the emotions of others, and then empathize with others. Taking it a step further, getting in touch with your Fi will also allow you to work a crowd and get onto a totally new level of communication and social interaction, and all of it will become second nature for you.

    Good luck!

    If you want, feel free to PM me and we can chat more about it.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
    Likes DulcetRefrain liked this post

  3. #3
    militat omnis amans magpie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    614 sx/so
    Posts
    3,287

    Default

    I can't feel what someone else is feeling, but I can try and understand what they're feeling based on the way our experiences overlap, my ability to imagine, and their ability to explain their emotional state. Even if I don't understand I can still recognize that their emotions are important and work to validate them and help in whatever way has been requested of me. Sometimes seeing someone who is very sad just makes me feel very sad too, and I want to hug and comfort them, or make all the suffering in the world go away.
    Likes GIjade, DulcetRefrain liked this post

  4. #4
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,421

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 1010830 View Post
    ENTJ-A with an overly underveloped Fi here.
    Please explain what this feelings word means and how can I feel empathy towards other people.
    What is the process that goes on your head when you put yourself inside another person's shoes, how can you feel what someone else is feeling, etc.
    I can't understand that at all so I'm taking the liberty of posting on this sub-forum to ask.
    The best way to start with empathy is to listen carefully to the person you are trying to empathize with, and to be open to what they say even if it doesn't make sense. You could ask questions to help you really understand it. You could also afterwards reflect on times you have had emotions within the same general category and remember how it felt and what that experience was like for you.

    One issue with non-empathy is immediate dismissal of what the person is thinking or feeling. If it doesn't make sense to someone, they will likely dismiss it outright. To have empathy is to listen and assume the person is credible and any confusion about their words means one listens more carefully and asks questions until they can understand it. And if it is too confusing to understand, to still allow it credibility and take it seriously.

    Edit: empathy starts with respect.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    Likes Kas, GIjade, DulcetRefrain liked this post

  5. #5
    Butterfly Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEx None
    Posts
    14,550

    Default

    You've already gotten some good advice, so I'm just going to toss this one out (a pet peeve of mine as an Ne dom):

    To promote that vital respect mentioned above, realise and be aware at all times that other people experience things differently, have different and equally valid priorities to yours and will value things differently than you. By listening, you can learn what they value and how that differs from what you value - provided you first have that sorted out (for that matter, they can act as a mirror and cause thought provoking ideas on where you stand and particularly WHY you hold that position in a particular situation).

    Remember that your way of life is a preference, as is theirs - and they're bound to both have their benefits and their downsides. To understand their preference, you listen. And then you try to imagine what it would be like to have that preference. Then you imagine having that preference in the ongoing situation and how that then would impact you, and voila - the beginnings of mastering the Art of Empathy

    Lastly, I'll just add that building empathy is like building up your core through rigorously working out. It is frustratingly slow at times, important to be happy with small improvements and not overload yourself, often fraught with resistance and painful the next day, but utterly worth it. Kudos on taking that very first step so willingly!
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Be careful what you believe, because that is the world you'll create - Cassie Nightingale
    Likes magpie liked this post

  6. #6
    Fabula rasa Kas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    2,006

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Edit: empathy starts with respect.
    This is a great comment.


    We can't really know what is someone thinking/feeling, we can only guess. Making an effort to understand what they come through is already a lot.

    I sense emotions very easily. E.g. if the person is getting angry or sad I will notice it early. So it's easier to me to do calm them down or comfort them.
    It's guessing what somebody thinks, that is difficult.
    I usually imagine what I would feel in particular situation and then think about how person differs from me and how their approach to the situation and feelings will be different. It may sound like a detour , but it's automatic and comes naturally.
    “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes." A.C. Doyle


    Likes labyrinthine, DulcetRefrain liked this post

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    9

    Default

    Why not try another approach as well? Notice their body language and their movements; how they move themselves while talking about something, telling you about stuff and spilling their problems? While listening, try asking questions to yourself - why are they feeling that way? Account for their previous tendencies and actions. When that fails, at the very least be open enough to simply listen and think about it to yourself, and not jot out an advice as the guy tells you about something. Sometimes the best thing next to empathy is simply empathy - feeling other's pain.

  8. #8
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    A fairly old thread but I'll answer anyway.

    I don't feel someone else's emotions. Emotions usually have a logical root to them. Unless someone is completely insane you can trace the emotion to an origin. A situation that birthed it. There's a story attached to the current state of mind. Read the prologue and chapters before the present circumstances and you can better fit yourself into the mindset of the individual you're speaking with. If you can't relate directly to an experience chances are you can draw from a similar scenario. If not, put yourself in the situation and imagine what you'd feel. INFPs fantasize- a lot. What about? A myriad of possibilities, some fairly realistic and some wildly outlandish and unlikely to ever occur. We role play in our minds and so I think it's easy to slip into people's mindsets because of that. At least that's how I see it.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

    As per orders of the No likes experiment I am not liking posts for the duration.

  9. #9
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    792 so/sx
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    2,880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    A fairly old thread but I'll answer anyway.

    I don't feel someone else's emotions. Emotions usually have a logical root to them. Unless someone is completely insane you can trace the emotion to an origin. A situation that birthed it. There's a story attached to the current state of mind. Read the epilogue and chapters before the present circumstances and you can better fit yourself into the mindset of the individual you're speaking with. If you can't relate directly to an experience chances are you can draw from a similar scenario. If not, put yourself in the situation and imagine what you'd feel. INFPs fantasize- a lot. What about? A myriad of possibilities, some fairly realistic and some wildly outlandish and unlikely to ever occur. We role play in our minds and so I think it's easy to slip into people's mindsets because of that. At least that's how I see it.
    THIS, all of it above, is why I find it extremely difficult to genuinely hate or dismiss someone. When I tell people I don't come to haste judgements of others, it's because of what you've described here, the secret sauce. If you approach everyone with the understanding of how emotions work and flow through people, all you need is a few tidbits about their life to get a sense of who they are as a person, and why they think or do the things they do. I am constantly "explaining" to myself the actions others do as a default, second-nature sort of process. Even if someone were to intentionally harm me, it is easy for me to forgive them because I understand their inner workings. I will still feel that initial pain, but it is almost always relieved within at most, a few hours? because I see that outburst towards me, as a reaction to what they feel inside. It's akin to having a thick skin, without actually having a thick skin. I'm a fairly sensitive person really, but this is what gives me that quick rebound from attacks.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
    Likes Amargith liked this post

  10. #10
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Enthusiastic_Dreamer View Post
    THIS, all of it above, is why I find it extremely difficult to genuinely hate or dismiss someone. When I tell people I don't come to haste judgements of others, it's because of what you've described here, the secret sauce. If you approach everyone with the understanding of how emotions work and flow through people, all you need is a few tidbits about their life to get a sense of who they are as a person, and why they think or do the things they do. I am constantly "explaining" to myself the actions others do as a default, second-nature sort of process. Even if someone were to intentionally harm me, it is easy for me to forgive them because I understand their inner workings. I will still feel that initial pain, but it is almost always relieved within at most, a few hours? because I see that outburst towards me, as a reaction to what they feel inside. It's akin to having a thick skin, without actually having a thick skin. I'm a fairly sensitive person really, but this is what gives me that quick rebound from attacks.
    I noticed that about you. Though we think alike I admire the diplomatic nature you project. You seem to pause and reflect even in the face of a verbal assault. You weigh your response carefully and calmly and that is an exercise in patience that I completely lack. Once someone fires off aggressively I'm returning fire without hesitation even when sometimes I should take a moment and figure out where their anger is coming from. It's a great quality to have especially when trying to mediate a dispute.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

    As per orders of the No likes experiment I am not liking posts for the duration.
    Likes Amargith, Dreamer, Abcdenfp liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] What if Ism was an ~*~*~*NF*~*~*~?????
    By Ism in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-28-2013, 06:01 PM
  2. [MBTItm] What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?
    By FFF in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 89
    Last Post: 06-18-2012, 09:30 PM
  3. Certainly an NF, but what's my type?
    By MissLizzy in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 03-17-2011, 10:24 AM
  4. [NF] What do you like about being an NF ?
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 07-10-2009, 09:58 PM
  5. [NF] How to mess with an NF's head?
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 117
    Last Post: 05-14-2009, 05:08 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO