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  1. #21
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    I think being too quiet to someone often makes them feel that their company is unwanted.

  2. #22
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not_Me View Post
    I think being too quiet to someone often makes them feel that their company is unwanted.
    Sometimes this is actually true, other times I'm just taking in what's being said and processing it for something good to latch onto.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  3. #23
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    My ESFJ mother often asks me this at home. She thinks normal people are those who blabber and laugh and gesticulate as wildly, as fast, as much as possible.

    In public, however, I (for some unknown reason) act very ENxPish (in the right company), so silence is not a problem. Of course, I feel very exhausted after that and need to go home to stare at the wall and sigh and daydream - but then the damned ESFJ appears.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Flush's Avatar
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    I usually hear "what's wrong?" when I'm absolutely fine.
    "Hey, lighten up" is also a common one.
    "How are you?" (asked in a "you don't look alright"-tone) is the one that annoys me the most. The fact of matter is, I WAS perfectly fine UNTIL you came and interrupted my thoughts by asking the damn question.
    01001001010011100100011001010000

  5. #25
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    don't you guys hate how they discuss you right in front of you ?

    i only find it upsetting because its shockingly inaccurate
    all the time
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #26
    Member Hang's Avatar
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    They think I'm plotting against them, because I could put up a wall. ugh...

  7. #27
    Senior Member Snail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flush View Post
    I usually hear "what's wrong?" when I'm absolutely fine.
    "Hey, lighten up" is also a common one.
    "How are you?" (asked in a "you don't look alright"-tone) is the one that annoys me the most. The fact of matter is, I WAS perfectly fine UNTIL you came and interrupted my thoughts by asking the damn question.
    I can relate to this, too. Apparently when I'm deep in thought I look depressed because I'm not consciously controlling my facial expression. This is especially true when I'm enjoying a pleasant daydream. I guess I must look sad about it, but I think it has more to do with neutral being the new negative. Positive gets counted as neutral, so a smile is considered normal; neutral gets counted as negative, so a blank expression is considered unpleasant; and negative gets counted as taboo, so it isn't expected at all. At least that's how it seems to me. The problem is that it becomes very difficult to express something positive in a subtle way that still carries the full power of the meaning, and it becomes an embarrassment to cry no matter how intense the negative feelings are, leading to an unhealthy buildup. Maybe I'm the one who has shifted things in the wrong direction and it's all a matter of appropriate perspective, but to me it seems like most people are slightly askew.

    This may seem incompatible with the "positive is the new neutral" theory, but I also notice that when I feel an intense non-sexual connection with someone, it is considered inappropriate to verbalize it because it tends to seem creepy and inevitably ends up getting interpreted as something it isn't. I can feel love for people without wanting to have sex with them, and it would be nice to be able to show those feelings and talk about them without fearing ostracism. What this really means is that there is a narrow range of acceptable emotional expression and that these boundaries are especially limiting to people who feel things intensely.

  8. #28
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    i'm only quiet when i have nothing to gain from talking. or when i'm processing. it ends up being a lot of the time

    unfortunately, i feel obligated to break silences, even when i have nothing to say. the awkwardness kills me. so sometimes i feel like it's my responsibility to carry a conversation even when i don't want to...

    so, i honestly don't get that question much. when i sense that someone is wondering why i'm being quiet, i just start talking (most of the time).

    stupid Fe...

  9. #29
    Senior Member VanillaCat's Avatar
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    I get it sometimes. It annoys me because I'm actually very talkative! I usually say "I don't know." and walk away. I don't need someone to judge me before they even know me. It's a TERRIBLE way to start a conversation, but to others it seems like it's a good idea. - Sigh. -
    It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

  10. #30
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Sometimes it is what it is, sometimes you just don't feel like talking. Whether it be in a bad mood or you frankly have nothing worth wasting breath on saying.

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