[INFP] INFPs and the "disappearance" syndrome

[TrueHeart]

I can relate to everything on the thread so far... except the Metallica reference.

 

[nolla]

Hmm.. I haven't focused on this, so I don't know if I do this. I do have this habit of leaving without a trace, but it isn't that hard. I also go under the radar for long times (no phone, mail, msn etc) but I only remember few cases when I had to basically shout to get attention.

I guess this disapparence could have something to do with me not needing attention. I can sit around for quite a while just listening to other people's conversation without needing to say anything or show them that I am there.

 

[animenagai]

how interesting, that in an odd way can help me identify people. i'll say the INFP's may disappear 'better' than the INTP's. i don't think an INTP can always hold in their urge to say 'what the fuck are you talking about you retards?!' where as the INFP can, because they don't want to bring negativity into a social situation.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Hmm, I get this too.

But that's not bad at all.
It's that type of person who I am more attracted to.
For me, I notice people like that more so.

So one could say, if your trying to be invisible to INTJs, you're actually doing the exact opposite.

 

[Tropics]

Yes. I've noticed that this happens to me too. I don't mind. I get to conserve my energy and not feel drained by all the chatter. Sometimes I'll just disappear from the group and have a nice walk by myself or sit somewhere quiet. It takes a while before they even realize I'm missing.

 

[Mighty Mouse]

I am very observant and when in a group do keep track of who is around me and when they leave.

I don't say anything to my more introverted friends when they zone out or literally walk away because I figure it's their choice where they want to be...

I'm posting this just to let you know some of us do notice and would love to hear what you have to say. I just wouldn't want to force you to do or say anything you didn't want to...

 

[Dwigie]

Yes. I've noticed that this happens to me too. I don't mind. I get to conserve my energy and not feel drained by all the chatter. Sometimes I'll just disappear from the group and have a nice walk by myself or sit somewhere quiet. It takes a while before they even realize I'm missing.

Haha!True here as well. I think my friends really don't though...-.-

 

[Wise Goat]

I can get up, and walk through a middle of a conversation and walk right out the front door, go for a walk and make it 7-8 blocks before my friends call me and ask me where I went... Although they know I do like my space.

I do agree with what DigitalMethod said though, I seem to notice the people who are trying NOT to be noticed.

 

[Dwigie]

Mine too wise goat, I only notice people who feel uncomfortable and try to put them at ease, I think I mentioned it before but if someone is doing great I simply have no interest in them.

 

[epsilon72]

I've escaped from many social occasions this way
Sometimes I wonder if people knew I was even there in the first place.

 

[DigitalMethod]

LOL.

So my mom is out of town.
She's a professor at my college.
So I'm sitting at her desk, in-between classes.
And it's a room with four cubicles.
They are only about four feet high walls.
I'm sitting here watching MBTIc.
Some guy comes in, wheels in a projector on a cart, goes back out side, pushes away the door prop. Turns off the light. And leaves.

LOL. completely doesn't see me and I'm in his sight the whole time.

Pretty funny eh.
So I'm like "WTF?" get up, prop the door open again, turn on the light.

Five minutes later. Same dude walks in, sees the light and door prop. Turns off the light...
"Hey....."
"Oh, you're here?"
"Um, yeah."
"Sorry."
*Walks away*



...

 

[Dwigie]

LOL.

So my mom is out of town.
She's a professor at my college.
So I'm sitting at her desk, in-between classes.
And it's a room with four cubicles.
They are only about four feet high walls.
I'm sitting here watching MBTIc.
Some guy comes in, wheels in a projector on a cart, goes back out side, pushes away the door prop. Turns off the light. And leaves.

LOL. completely doesn't see me and I'm in his sight the whole time.

Pretty funny eh.
So I'm like "WTF?" get up, prop the door open again, turn on the light.

Five minutes later. Same dude walks in, sees the light and door prop. Turns off the light...
"Hey....."
"Oh, you're here?"
"Um, yeah."
"Sorry."
*Walks away*



...

LOL!!!!! Me too things like that happen to me too, way too often it's still hilarious. When I talk to people they walk away as if I were invisible I know a lot about them though...they get a bit creeped out by how much info concerning them I have taken in while they can't remember my name.Come across as stalkerish.

 

[milti girl]

Good God, that's forever happening to me! I'm generally quite a talkative person, and can hold attention when I'm with one or two people (who are necessarily more Introvert than me.) But I've had people tell me, "We'll call you when we go for lunch" or whatever, and will forget to call me and then later complain I wandered off - when I was standing right there!!

It sucks sometimes but then I hate clingy people and love to be able to wander off just like that. I noticed many of my more E friends are practically unable to go anywhere alone!

 

[niki]

just happened to me this morning.
I 'dissapeared' from where i'm supposed to be: at the 'totally-boring' office/factory.
instead, i just found myself suddenly wandering-off AROUND the factory, looking at the housing blocks, observe trees, kids playing around on the street, etc.

what a productive guy I am, eh?

 

[Orangey]

I'm a little late to this thread...but disappearing is something that I always do. Like many have mentioned before me, I can literally walk out in front of people's faces and they still won't notice (or don't care, one or the other) that I'm gone. It can be an advantage AND a problem, though, because while I enjoy (nay, rely upon) my ability to leave unnoticed from group gatherings, I also sometimes get left out or forgotten on occasions when I actually feel like participating. That can be a little deflating to my ego since it reminds me that my presence is not as important to others as I might sometimes like to fancy .

 

[ixquic_creation]

INFP disappearing acts.

How many INFP's go on a mini hermit hiatus, every now and then?

I have a bad habit of dropping off the face of the planet, only to reemerge as if nothing happened. I love my friends, but sometimes being social gets to be a bit too exhausting and I take a month or so to not-talk-to-anyone. Eventually, I feel like shit for blowing people off, and pop back n the social scene.

There are those who understand (other introverts, or NF's) to the fullest extent possible.
Other people who don't understand either get hurt, pissed, or feel as though I don't value their friendship. And I feel horrible, because even though I get hermit-ish, its because I need to realign my headspace, not from lack of love.

I guess its the idealist in me, but I don't see why I can't pick up where I left off. as i've gotten older, I've tried harder to maintain my friendships. There's a few people that I care about dearly that have dropped me completely, and while it hurts quite terribly, I DO understand what an unreliable flake I've been over the past few years.

Any others who have the same issue? Any other type's who've had problems with my type doing this? Feedback would be helpful.

(I've rushed through this, typing rather fast. I hope my writing makes sense.)



Much love.

 

[disregard]

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/7816-infps-dissapearance-syndrom.html

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Merged. Thanks D.

 

[Mempy]

I've noticed this to be reccurent in my entire life (ok it's not been that long:rolli that I tend to dissolve in the background. I can literally stand between two people and listen to their private conversation and they won't notice, I don't even have to try. People never realize I'm there, it's magical. I must say I enjoy it most of the time but sometimes it's a pain in the butt. I also tend to completely detach from groups of people and dissapear to go "do my own thing" and be reported missing for 30 minutes until my classmates realize I was just taking a walk, talking to a friend..far away. I even randomly walked out of a classroom without permission and was never caught. do other infps sense this "dissolvement" in the background, being completely transparent to people?

I have an INFP friend (he's dating my best friend), and the two of us always notice when he wanders off. Maybe not right away, but in a couple minutes we're always like, "Now where did Damien go?" He does it so often, usually without telling us where he's going; that's the most annoying part. I guess it's kind of hard not to notice when one in your group of three goes missing.

 

[Mempy]

Oh, I just realized two threads were merged here. I don't really think the "Disappearance Syndrome" and the opening post that was merged into this thread are one and the same in terms of topic. The Disappearance thread was talking more about not being noticed. The other OP is talking more about going into hermit mode for weeks at a time and then finally resurfacing; I'd personally like to un-merge them.