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View Poll Results: Why do some thinkers demonize feelers

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  • They are emotionally immature.

    58 31.18%
  • They just don't understand how feelers make decisions.

    90 48.39%
  • They confuse emotion with the MBTI definition of feeler.

    96 51.61%
  • They have an irrational fear of empathy.

    27 14.52%
  • They lack social skills.

    28 15.05%
  • They're big meanies!

    38 20.43%
  • Feelers are simply better at resolving conflict and dealing with their emotions

    10 5.38%
  • Feelers demonize thinkers in private instead of openly.

    25 13.44%
  • I'm a feeler and I think feelers suck too.

    10 5.38%
  • Other.

    39 20.97%
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  1. #171
    Senior Member Ilah's Avatar
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    At the time I didn't use the term feelers at all. I privately thought of them as and .

    Being naturally introspective, as well as thinking of a possible way to deal with them, I would often wonder why. Why have I been choosen to as the target of this harassment? Why can't I get along with them? Because I was different seemed to be a primary reason, but I wasn't sure other than that. After studying MBTI and reading how certain types sometimes have problems getting along with others, I thought about whether that seemed to fit the specific situations I was in. It seemed like a good fit to me.

    I don't think conformists are SF rather than NF, but we were talking about F in general and holding the value of conformity is very high esteme would seem to show a high F.

    Fundamentalist are most likely SF rather than NF. Definately a very strong F though. Ns tend to get their own independant ideas about religion and probably wouldn't work very well in a faith that was very rigid.

    [QUOTE=SquirrelTao;297916]
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    It really seems strange to me to categorize people as "feelers" outside of an MBTI forum. I don't go around categorizing people IRL as "feelers" or "thinkers" at all, still less having opinions about them as a monolithic group. In fact, I never thought about it too much at all until a few NTs here got on my nerves. Are there really a lot of NTs walking around who have such hard feelings about people they categorize as "feelers" IRL? As opposed to just debating online?


    I don't see conformism or fundamentalism as NF things. A vegan seems more likely to be an NF.

    I am not sure about using ethics to describe F. Doesn't F also play a big role in determinings value judgments for things like movies, music, books, etc.

  2. #172
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Well, if you study philosophical ethics(which is interchangable with morality) you'll find that even hedonism technically counts as a moral philosophy. People forget that being "ethical" doesn't stricly mean being righteous, and it especially doesn't mean being righteous solely in the ways that this mainstream society defines righteousness. Ethics simply concerns what you believe to be good or bad in any sense.

    So, in other words, empathy and self-concern are still just a part of someone's ethics or morals.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    I am not sure about using ethics to describe F. Doesn't F also play a big role in determinings value judgments for things like movies, music, books, etc.
    This is the point I was trying tomake. I know "lack of ethics" (i.e. "hedonism") is itself a kind of ethics, but "Value/Feeling judgments" goes beyond just that "moral" category.
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  3. #173
    Member Shadowrose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    This is the point I was trying tomake. I know "lack of ethics" (i.e. "hedonism") is itself a kind of ethics, but "Value/Feeling judgments" goes beyond just that "moral" category.
    Oo. I cry foul. Hedonism is -not- having a lack of ethics. Hedonism is the belief that the most ethically correct course of action is that which generates the most pleasure. (As a random aside, you can accurately call most ascetic monks Hedonists. ^_^)

    Anywho, Personally I actually do go around throwing people into either Feeler or Thinker territory. Usually with shades of gray.. ('Squishy'.. 'Hard'.. 'Soft'..) but it isn't because I have hard feelings, because it's an internal meter that I can use to know how much I have to pussyfoot around with them. I watch myself around the Squishies in my life. I say things to my "Hard" friends that would offend a lesser human being just by the sheer utterance. So it's more of a utilitarian view of people, not a judgmental one.

  4. #174
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Well, yes, and I think honoring of the spirit which is within us all, it is an effective communication tool to meet someone where they are on the spectrum.

    I think that's why I, as a feeler, don't care for the impersonal approach.

    But out of that respect, I resist the game of attempting to ellict responses for my understanding. I much prefer the straightforward method of simply asking/observing. It takes the Machiavellian aspect of disagreement out of the equation.

    As a intuiter I am aware when someone is trying to manipulate my thoughts or feelings to ellicit a response in order to draw conclusions about me. And I resist that. Hidden agenda? Too sideways and controlling for my taste.

    It implies distrust of my honesty and feels like an insult to my sincerity. I prefer to meet others on level ground and go from there.

    I offer that and if they respond with a conversational game I turn in my game pieces and find someone to talk to who will reward me with the same respect and autonomy as I offer them.

    But I do concede that there are those who enjoy a good game of mental/emotional sparring and while not sanctioning that, I can feel free to let them have at it. To me conversational guessing games and ego-feeding are a waste of time.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #175
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I'd like to understand why in some instances I prefer the personal approach while at other times almost need the impersonal...
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  6. #176
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You're human.

  7. #177
    Member Shadowrose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I'd like to understand why in some instances I prefer the personal approach while at other times almost need the impersonal...
    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You're human.
    Just to add to that.. the people you communicate with are human, as well. ^_^

  8. #178
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I think Substitute makes a valid point. No one wants to be an emotional hostage.

    No one.
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  9. #179
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think, absolutely.

    (Hah. Do you think I say, "I think" alot to impress upon present company that it is a fair posibility?)

    Made myself laugh. .
    But. I digress.

    I was talking to an acquaintence just a few months ago about this very thing. That I work on fairness and non-judgementalism, and in spite of the self-awareness, I STILL find myself making judgements about people based on their actions and words.

    She scolded me! Her response was to remind me that, of course, it was a basic human need for safety that drives us to assess our level of emotional security with other humans. Said not to think in terms of judgementalism but rather safety. And in no small way instructed me to stop beating myself up for evaluating people at this level.

    What a relief. I forgot. . .
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #180
    Member Shadowrose's Avatar
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    How can you adequately understand a person without judging them, on some level? If my best friend calls me, I'm not going to ask her if she's OK, I'm going to ask what happened. I judge that she's not in the best of moods. The problem is judging people when you don't have enough criteria or observations to really fit the judgment. I don't know, it bothers people who say you shouldn't judge anyone. It's something we inherently do, because it assists us in understanding people. Now, I -do- agree that you shouldn't hold onto your judgments. If you're wrong about someone, take it with tact and grace, and reevaluate your opinions and thoughts.

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