User Tag List

View Poll Results: Why do some thinkers demonize feelers

Voters
186. You may not vote on this poll
  • They are emotionally immature.

    58 31.18%
  • They just don't understand how feelers make decisions.

    90 48.39%
  • They confuse emotion with the MBTI definition of feeler.

    96 51.61%
  • They have an irrational fear of empathy.

    27 14.52%
  • They lack social skills.

    28 15.05%
  • They're big meanies!

    38 20.43%
  • Feelers are simply better at resolving conflict and dealing with their emotions

    10 5.38%
  • Feelers demonize thinkers in private instead of openly.

    25 13.44%
  • I'm a feeler and I think feelers suck too.

    10 5.38%
  • Other.

    39 20.97%
Multiple Choice Poll.
First 71516171819 Last

Results 161 to 170 of 266

  1. #161
    Senior Member SquirrelTao's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INXX
    Posts
    198

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    There's a very big difference between people being obnoxious and having an argument in which one party is an idiot.
    The problem I have with this is that so many people IRL seem to be idiots but yet they are well-meaning. (And many times they are also related to me!)

    I have an aunt who forwards me a lot of emails. I love this aunt. She would always send generous gifts of clothes every year when I was a child. She would have me over every year for waterskiing and take me to Marriot's Great America and let me ride her horse and other assorted fun things. But her emails are often dumb. The dumbest email claimed that an oil well that is pumped will never run dry provided the pumping continues. Kind of like a breast. I couldn't believe it. My husband wanted me to tell her what an idiot she is, but I just kept my opinion to myself, because I want to keep the lines of communication open with her.

  2. #162
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    You always need to make clear to yourself what you want. Do you like communicating to dumb people or would you rather cut them off. Or do you like having them talking to you even if they are dumb.

    I have come to the point where I do not size people anymore. They are just there and I am glad they are, because I have grown short on friends.

    My grandma always says "what shall we do, we cant change live" and that is one of the things that mostly antagonizes me. But I dont care, every birthday I get a box of cigarettes and every time I accomplish something great, I get a bottle Glenfiddich Solera 16 years single malt.

    That woman knows what I want xD
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #163
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    Why do some thinkers demonize feelers?

    Because "feelers" are more empathic than "thinkers"
    so
    - thinkers can judge feelers because they do not feel sympathy/empathy for them
    - feelers don't do it as much because they can sympathize/empahtize


    ....haha what a generalization!
    but maybe true
    on some level
    ?

  4. #164
    Senior Member Ilah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    274

    Default

    I read the whole thread, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. I thought it was going to be full of bashing and hating.

    So what can I say that hasn't been said....

    Thinkers have feelings too. Saying thinkers aren't emotional is like saying feelers don't think. Some thinkers are less emotional. Some are very emotional, but you wouldn't know it because they don't show it. Some thinkers are trouble controling emotions and may actually seem more emotional than feelers. Or some combination. I often have hidden mood swings because my emotions were too strong (inappropriate or over reacting) and I was embaressed by them.

    Generally I try to start out with a positive, or at least a neutral opinion toward people. If I react poorly, it is generally a reaction to the way they have treated me.

    I identify to a large degree with how some thinkers may have been harassed by a feeler which they over generalize into a general dislike of all feelers. With me it wasn't just one "bad feeler" but a many, many feelers who have given me a hard time, so the tendancy to generalize seems a bit more reasonable. I don't know if there are lots of bad feelers out there or if I just got really unlucky to run into so many. Still I try not to hold it against feelers in general.

    I was verbally bullied in school quite a bit and it was pretty traumatic. I suppose not all of this is F v. T, being introverted and N probably didn't help. Not having good social skills is generally attributed to T (or more correctly low F) and that was probably the biggest factor.

    I have had issues with people whose have strong values I don't agree with. I will not react hostilely to someone because their values are different than mine, but I have ran into many feelers who will harass you, reject you as a friend or look down on you because you don't share their values. I lost a friend, some one who I invited over to my house many times, becuase she felt my D&D character was behaving unethically.

    There is the F with status quo values, who reacts badly because my values are not the same as the statue quo, popular culture, etc. A common variation of that is the "what would people think" feeler. Often this is in reaction to some trivial transgression like wearing the wrong color shoes. Then there is the idealist, such as the vegan who says "people who eat meat are evil" [not saying all vegans do this] or the fundamentalist who says "people who don't follow my God are going to hell."

    Also, I rarely display my emotions and it really bothers me when people try to pressure me to or look down on me because of it. It gets to me when people act like I am a heartless because I don't when they tell me their dog died or their kid is in the hospital. I am really bad at expressing sympathy but that doesn't mean I don't have care.

  5. #165
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    548 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    3,441

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    I've often reflected on the fact that no perfectly, or universally satisfying words can be found for the functions. Someone will always complain that they sound wrong in one way or another, and those who rely on connotation are especially difficult to satisfy.

    But I did come up with one idea that I at least think is better than Thinking and Feeling, which are highly ambiguous. My idea was that it might be better to call them Logic and Ethic. Logical and Ethical. Of all the words I could think of, none seemed to more closely match the definitions of Thinking and Feeling than logic and ethic. It is what the two functions principally deal with.
    I too was wondering if "ethical" might be a better alternative word for "feeling, like "logical" is for thinking. These, of course, are what Socionics use. But ethics sounds a bit too narrow, like it's only about morality, or something. Or is it, perhaps? The way the particular function attitudes of Fe and especially Fi are described, it's more about empathy or self-concern and such.
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

    Temperament (APS) from scratch -- MBTI Type from scratch
    Type Ideas

  6. #166
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    Yin
    Enneagram
    One sx/sp
    Posts
    13,911

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    I too was wondering if "ethical" might be a better alternative word for "feeling, like "logical" is for thinking. These, of course, are what Socionics use. But ethics sounds a bit too narrow, like it's only about morality, or something. Or is it, perhaps? The way the particular function attitudes of Fe and especially Fi are described, it's more about empathy or self-concern and such.
    Well, if you study philosophical ethics(which is interchangable with morality) you'll find that even hedonism technically counts as a moral philosophy. People forget that being "ethical" doesn't stricly mean being righteous, and it especially doesn't mean being righteous solely in the ways that this mainstream society defines righteousness. Ethics simply concerns what you believe to be good or bad in any sense.

    So, in other words, empathy and self-concern are still just a part of someone's ethics or morals.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  7. #167
    Senior Member SquirrelTao's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INXX
    Posts
    198

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    I identify to a large degree with how some thinkers may have been harassed by a feeler which they over generalize into a general dislike of all feelers. With me it wasn't just one "bad feeler" but a many, many feelers who have given me a hard time, so the tendancy to generalize seems a bit more reasonable. I don't know if there are lots of bad feelers out there or if I just got really unlucky to run into so many. Still I try not to hold it against feelers in general.
    [QUOTE=Ilah;297538]
    It really seems strange to me to categorize people as "feelers" outside of an MBTI forum. I don't go around categorizing people IRL as "feelers" or "thinkers" at all, still less having opinions about them as a monolithic group. In fact, I never thought about it too much at all until a few NTs here got on my nerves. Are there really a lot of NTs walking around who have such hard feelings about people they categorize as "feelers" IRL? As opposed to just debating online?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    I was verbally bullied in school quite a bit and it was pretty traumatic. I suppose not all of this is F v. T, being introverted and N probably didn't help. Not having good social skills is generally attributed to T (or more correctly low F) and that was probably the biggest factor.
    That's no fun. And I suppose "feelings gone bad" is at the heart of bullying. But I don't see bullying as an NF phenomenon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    I have had issues with people whose have strong values I don't agree with. I will not react hostilely to someone because their values are different than mine, but I have ran into many feelers who will harass you, reject you as a friend or look down on you because you don't share their values. I lost a friend, some one who I invited over to my house many times, becuase she felt my D&D character was behaving unethically.
    Yes, I suppose we all have issues with people whose strong values we don't agree with. Politics comes to mind. I'm sorry you lost your friend over such a silly reason.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    There is the F with status quo values, who reacts badly because my values are not the same as the statue quo, popular culture, etc. A common variation of that is the "what would people think" feeler. Often this is in reaction to some trivial transgression like wearing the wrong color shoes. Then there is the idealist, such as the vegan who says "people who eat meat are evil" [not saying all vegans do this] or the fundamentalist who says "people who don't follow my God are going to hell."
    I don't see conformism or fundamentalism as NF things. A vegan seems more likely to be an NF.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilah View Post
    Also, I rarely display my emotions and it really bothers me when people try to pressure me to or look down on me because of it. It gets to me when people act like I am a heartless because I don't when they tell me their dog died or their kid is in the hospital. I am really bad at expressing sympathy but that doesn't mean I don't have care.
    I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, either. WRT sympathy, I hate saying trite things when I feel deeply. Often it seems as if words are just inadequate. Hugs, looks and touches are better IMO but not a,ways appropriate. Also, crying about something never made it better. I just don't like to force out words when something is more important than a social facade, and it seems to betray the depth and importance of it to concentrate on making a superficial impression.

  8. #168
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    135 so/sp
    Posts
    8,696

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SquirrelTao View Post
    It really seems strange to me to categorize people as "feelers" outside of an MBTI forum. I don't go around categorizing people IRL as "feelers" or "thinkers" at all, still less having opinions about them as a monolithic group. In fact, I never thought about it too much at all until a few NTs here got on my nerves. Are there really a lot of NTs walking around who have such hard feelings about people they categorize as "feelers" IRL? As opposed to just debating online?
    Believe me when I say that this is exactly what I am doing all the time.

    I am a person that is analyzing and planning all the time. Since I know for the mbti I am doing the categorization all the time.

    MBTI gived me one powerfull tool on how to evaluate person and to do it in quite fast.
    When I am in the doubt about somebody I usually say something strange to shake the other person. This tactic can give you quite an insight in the other person.



    One question for Fs.

    I can start an argument or debate with F person and usually it is something about F cares about. Since I have very strong Te I can usually be qute successful in making my point.
    When I am done I can change my attitude in second because it is over and everything that needs to be done in done.
    But F that was on the other side is still steaming and he/she has a huge problem with understanding that case is closed. He/she really needs a lot of time to calm down.

    My question is: Why Fs have so much trouble with impersonal aproach?

  9. #169
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    3,198

    Default

    It really seems strange to me to categorize people as "feelers" outside of an MBTI forum. I don't go around categorizing people IRL as "feelers" or "thinkers" at all. It really seems strange to me to categorize people as "feelers" outside of an MBTI forum.
    Not exactly, but somewhat. Among my friends and acquaintances, I do quasi-categorize them along lines that I now recognize qualify as F or T, but did this before knowing about MBTI.

    I don't go around categorizing people IRL as "feelers" or "thinkers" at all, still less having opinions about them as a monolithic group. In fact, I never thought about it too much at all until a few NTs here got on my nerves. Are there really a lot of NTs walking around who have such hard feelings about people they categorize as "feelers" IRL? As opposed to just debating online?
    I would not say I have hard feelings. Roughly half my friends are feelers. What happens is that I use it to evaluate what arguments or discussions to have with whom. There are some touchy things I will not discuss with those who have passionately held values and will get upset by a line of reasoning, even if it is just playing devil's advocate. Also, depending on the issue, I may take what is said by a T or F with a grain of salt of varying size. E.g. my best friend (an INFJ) will consider other, alogical yet relevant points than will not occur to one other best friend (ISTP), who tends to give more linear, logical input.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #170
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    I don't think fearing empathy is always irrational. For a person who bases their life approach and most of their decisions as much as possible on logic rather than feeling, to have someone constantly reading your emotions and attributing your actions and words to them can be extremely stressful. It can feel like you're being violated sometimes, in a way, constantly having info you consider private and only wish to share with those you choose to, dug out, exposed and stuff. I don't think it's necessarily irrational or immature to dislike that situation and want to avoid being in it.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

Similar Threads

  1. Why do some people on this forum seem to dislike MBTI?
    By sofmarhof in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 11-19-2015, 08:43 PM
  2. Replies: 49
    Last Post: 07-19-2010, 01:30 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO