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[ENFP] What do ENFPs do when angry?

VanillaCat

New member
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
178
MBTI Type
ENFP
When I get angry, I get UNCONTROLLABLE. I'd seriously do anything to anyone, and there is only a small fraction of my brain working, and telling me not to do something. Of course, afterwards, if I regretted it, I would try to fix things. But really, anger for me seems so foreign. I feel like it's the one emotion I can't effectively deal with.

What about other ENFPs?
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,764
This thread will be interesting because NFs will finally say something negative about their feelings.
Or maybe they will not.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
This thread will be interesting because finally NF says something negative about her feelings.

What cave have you been living in? Do some searches, there are a lot of posts where Fs are talking about their negative traits.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,764
What cave have you been living in? Do some searches, there are a lot of posts where Fs are talking about their negative traits.

I know that there are plenty of threads about that. My comment is not fully carried out. I just have impression that Fs are far more likely to talk about negative side of feelings sponatneously then when some thinker attacks them . What is understandable.
That is just my impression and this is a matter for another thread.
 

LunaIndigo

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
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126
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
When I become angry, I get very cruel and say many things I don't mean. I'll take it all out on the closest person to me. Very argumentative and withdrawn. But I hate being angry. I don't feel good afterwards and I try to happy myself up as fast as possible but part of my rain wants to stay angry as long as possible (this is only in the extreme cases).
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
When I get angry, I get UNCONTROLLABLE. I'd seriously do anything to anyone, and there is only a small fraction of my brain working, and telling me not to do something. Of course, afterwards, if I regretted it, I would try to fix things. But really, anger for me seems so foreign. I feel like it's the one emotion I can't effectively deal with.

What about other ENFPs?

When I become angry, I get very cruel and say many things I don't mean. I'll take it all out on the closest person to me. Very argumentative and withdrawn. But I hate being angry. I don't feel good afterwards and I try to happy myself up as fast as possible but part of my rain wants to stay angry as long as possible (this is only in the extreme cases).

:cry::shock::( I hate to say it, but....:yes:
 

SillyGoose

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
243
MBTI Type
EXXP
It takes a lot to provoke me.

With that said, I will verbally attack whoever provoked me. I remember everything that led up to the latest situation that set me off and will let loose on them.

And honestly, a lot of the time I don't regret it. If they got me to that point then I am usually at the end of my rope with them and do not care about connecting or continuing any kind of relationship again.

Over the years I've gotten a lot more smooth in my delivery. When I was younger I was a lot more explosive, but now I am able to keep it all together.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
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ENFP
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7w8
In my youth, I'd be pissed for a few hours before giving in and writing the most ill-feigned respectful letter-version of a bitch slap. With people I was close to, however, I'd essentially throw a tantrum (Kicking holes in my sister's door, punching holes in her wall, screaming... I was the worst sister ever!).

My current pattern (with almost everyone) is the following: I'll feel the emotion well up in me, wait a minute to calm down a bit, then say something like, "Wow... for some reason that hit me the wrong way. Hmmm, I'll let you know when I figure out why. Sooooo, how about those ramen noodles? Delicious, no?"

Then I'll take a day to assess whether or not I'm overreacting and why (I'm very VERY aware of that tendency... just knowing it has saved me a lot of pain/drama in the last year or so). Why a day? Introverted (ie hidden) Feeling plus a marked tendency to overanalyze everything makes me a crazy lady...

…which brings me to another point: I seriously don’t know what’s going on inside me most of the time. The only way I can tell I’m agitated or stressed or upset are physical symptoms (hair twirling, excessive sniffing, hyperventilating, etc.). I stay up night after night with insomnia and maybe some heart palpitations, but emotionally, I’m totally chill. Oh, and don’t get me started on love… I actually can’t tell whether or not I have a crush on someone. Of course, I’ll figure it out after a year or two, but when I go to tell my buddies, they say, “You think? Sheesh, you’ve had a thing for him since freshman year!” It’s insanity, I tell you!

…I wish I had an off button.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
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ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
In my youth, I'd be pissed for a few hours before giving in and writing the most ill-feigned respectful letter-version of a bitch slap. With people I was close to, however, I'd essentially throw a tantrum (Kicking holes in my sister's door, punching holes in her wall, screaming... I was the worst sister ever!).

My current pattern (with almost everyone) is the following: I'll feel the emotion well up in me, wait a minute to calm down a bit, then say something like, "Wow... for some reason that hit me the wrong way. Hmmm, I'll let you know when I figure out why. Sooooo, how about those ramen noodles? Delicious, no?"

Then I'll take a day to assess whether or not I'm overreacting and why (I'm very VERY aware of that tendency... just knowing it has saved me a lot of pain/drama in the last year or so). Why a day? Introverted (ie hidden) Feeling plus a marked tendency to overanalyze everything makes me a crazy lady...

…which brings me to another point: I seriously don’t know what’s going on inside me most of the time. The only way I can tell I’m agitated or stressed or upset are physical symptoms (hair twirling, excessive sniffing, hyperventillating, etc.). I stay up night after night with insomnia and maybe some heart palpitations, but emotionally, I’m totally chill. Oh, and don’t get me started on love… I actually can’t tell whether or not I have a crush on someone. Of course, I’ll figure it out after a year or two, but when I go to tell my buddies, they say, “You think? Sheesh, you’ve had a thing for him since freshman year!” It’s insanity, I tell you!

…I wish I had an off button.
 

SillyGoose

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
243
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EXXP
…which brings me to another point: I seriously don’t know what’s going on inside me most of the time. The only way I can tell I’m agitated or stressed or upset are physical symptoms (hair twirling, excessive sniffing, hyperventillating, etc.). I stay up night after night with insomnia and maybe some heart palpitations, but emotionally, I’m totally chill. Oh, and don’t get me started on love… I actually can’t tell whether or not I have a crush on someone. Of course, I’ll figure it out after a year or two, but when I go to tell my buddies, they say, “You think? Sheesh, you’ve had a thing for him since freshman year!” It’s insanity, I tell you!

…I wish I had an off button.

:yes: been there and still doing it. sigh
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
I've just been walking away alot for the past couple of years. When I was younger I was terrible when I'd get angry, like a tornado through a trailer park, no one was safe from my biting wit and sarcastic remarks. But I always hated myself afterwards. Very Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde.

Now I just politely say "I'm done with this conversation for now." and walk away before I get to a point of explosion.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
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Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
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ENFP
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7w6
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so/sx
I used to have quite a temper when I was younger. Not that I picked fights, but I had a much lower thresh hold for tolerating others who wanted to start something. I was easily enraged by people who attempted to dominate me or others, like tyrants and bullies. But, now I know how to channel my anger in a productive manner, and truthfully, I've mellowed a lot, so many things that riled me up before don't really now.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
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Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
When I'm angry I try extra hard not to take it out on innocent bystanders. I never say things I don't mean. If I feel really comfortable, I'll just yell but it's really more bark than bite. I just have to get it out harmlessly like that and process so I can settle down.

The angrier, moodier, more tired and stressed I get -- the more of a funk -- the more effort I exert to control my internal Fi storm. So when I'm utterly exhausted I just get very quiet and still try to be polite, which often equals a weak smile or small nod.

Honestly, moody people annoy me. Why? "Not my problem".

I think it's the small mean side of people that enjoys bringing other people down. If you're miserable, you must make other people miserable and make your problem their problem. Instead of dealing with the root of your problem. I despise smallness in people and I try very hard not to succumb to it. If I did not cause your moodiness, I don't think I should have to put up with your attitude. I think that's fair.

I get annoyed a lot, but really angry?

Sure, I've gotten enraged before to the point of shaking and almost losing control. I know what it means when people say, "I was so angry I blacked out". These were generally because of situations where I was harassed (i.e street harassment) or felt victimized and honestly just wanted to beat the shit out of the perpetrator(s).

What helps for me is the angrier I get, the more verbal and direct. Everything gets put out there. I just explain to the quick how I feel and why and what the other person's behavior/actions/speech has made me feel and how I assess the situation.

When you've done wrong, there's very little you can do and say to backtrack when faced with the blunt truth. And I don't demand apologies or name call, I stick to the "facts" or rather my personal truth and the truth of the situation. My goal is to feel liberated and free and say my peace. That's it.

Most people are surprised they've gotten called out and either a discussion ensues or the person listens, acknowledges, and/or apologises.

In other words, Te to the rescue! :yes:

After that, I feel so much better.

*edit*

Yes! Like LadyJaye, I am sooooooo much mellower and even-keeled these days. I'm much less self-deceptive and more direct (though still have lots of work to do).

My 'locus of control' is on me and my immediate environment and what I am capable and responsible for doing. I am empowered and I do not in general feel like a victim or put upon by the world. Makes a HUGE difference in your mood and how you perceive and react to everyday interactions. In other words, I'm much less emotionally reactive or moody.
 

Maabus1999

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
528
MBTI Type
INTJ
Man, I can't believe no one has said "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."
Hulk-Norton-GreenEyes.jpg


Oh wait this is ENFP anger, not mine. Here:

evil%20bunny.jpg


"It's got sharp pointy teeth!!! Look at the bones!"
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
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Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
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INTJ
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1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Man, I can't believe no one has said "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."
Hulk-Norton-GreenEyes.jpg


Oh wait this is ENFP anger, not mine. Here:

evil%20bunny.jpg


"It's got sharp pointy teeth!!! Look at the bones!"

my angry side/efficient task accomplishing side = that bunny = "terminator mode" = Relief Te + oppositional Ni = the Juggernaut!
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
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ENTP
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9w8
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so/sx
Whoa, Iz scared of dat bunny :huh:

Does that mean I should stay away from angry ENFPs?
 

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
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type
By the time you leave the room they'll probably be happy. Avoid ENFPs entirely, only safe proposition.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
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Dammit! That sux cause I kinda have a crush on ENFPs as a type :dont:
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
i dunno

when i get mad, i just start staring at the person who made me mad. and wait for them to do something stupid. if its a girl, ill probably say "wow, you can stare at me and not feel guilt?" unless their body posture says they know they screwed up...if its a guy, i would probably give them one chance and say "wtf u lookin at?" to see what they say before i start a fight. LOL

last time i got pissed at some stranger, it was at some car, this happend like a year ago? i chased them down, got in front, braked hard trying to make them panic and feel scared, stared at them the entire time wanting them to pull over. but they just boned out.

last time i got pissed at people i knew, it was in school, and people were being political instead of looking for the right answer. i remember i was like "this is fuccin BULLSHIET!" blah blah blah and "Are you stupid? I mean, lets just stop playing games, and learn to admit when we are wrong here and jsut move on..." we got points deducted for our project later bc of the politics that creeped into our project. i was too tired to deal with the politics.

I think sometimes I need to learn to stand my ground more in those situations, instead of thinking "no one can be that stupid, i mean, don't they KNOW its wrong and they are just agreeing with something stupid so they can get support for their own stupid idea?" and letting it go.
 
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