The hardest part of dealing with my anger is trying to walk away from an argument or situation because it will provoke me; I find it really IRRITATING when you tell people that you need a break or you'll explode, and they continue to argue thinking that you're leaving because you don't want to discuss the problem (whatever it is).
Originally Posted by scattershot
That frustrates the hell out of me.
Haha that's exactly what I was describing in my previous post. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who experiences it.
Fi used to scare me because I thought everyone could size me up.. now it scares me because I realize they can't size up my intentions and sometimes I can't correct for that
I always feel it coming on. I just try to detach and trace its source, treating it as a signal for something being wrong. Usually, anger isn't big deal for me. (Sadness, on the other hand, is.)
I've slipped up from time to time, sure.. but I usually only really yell is when I know that it's the only way to get through to the other person. You can make all of the logical and rational arguments you want.. but, sometimes, all a person understands is aggression, especially another feeler who's flying off the handle at you.
Hmm...I'd say I relate to that. I don't really get angry that often. When I do, it's often for a very good reason and I don't really hold back. But I try to keep things in perspective...too ad-hominem is not a good move.
When I get mad, I get MAD! I usually just want to get away. I'll grab my bike and just leave, or I'll just walk away.. I don't like to deal with things head on as they occur..I'll just go.
Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?
One other thing I've noticed about being me (and maybe true of other ENFPs) is that when I'm angry, I become extremely callous. Normally I'm very respectful and courteous around even total strangers, but I couldn't care less if the kid on the television was dying of leukemia and stated so, if I was in the middle of an outburst.
The way I put it is this... I live mostly in a symbolic atmosphere. I take very good care of it, make everyone sharing my current space feel at home and at ease.
However, if I am genuinely mad at you and you have been labeled as fundamentally repulsive..I will ensure that you will psychologically bleed from every orifice that I can think of - letting loose all the toxic symbols I usually filter out, until you're choking in metaphysical nerve gas. Then I will use the full spectrum of my so-called "people skills" and manipulate others into doing the same. Ultimately, I want to make you sorry you were born at all.
I never got physical when angry... maybe just once. Again, it was more of a symbolic kick than anything else.
Over the years, I did calm down and stopped using others - partly because halfway through, they escaped my influence and went "Wow... why am I here?" as if they woke up from a brainwashing spell... then it all backfires on me and... that ruins everything.
Now, its far classier. My tone of voice does get cold, and with a purposeful fake smile, I ask to retire.
Depending on the situation (89.9% of the time), I will apologize and make up for it. With hugs and genuine smiles for everyone -
See, it's no wonder so many ENFPs make it a point to hide how they truly feel from others. Fi can be mercilessly destructive. It's very easy to say "Oh, my.. I ruined everything with that display of emotion.. I must suppress it and wear and Fe mask instead".