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  1. #71
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    I cry

  2. #72
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    I tend to hold back all my negative emotions until I decide whether it's worth it to be angry.

    If I decide it is, I am pretty unbearable to be around. I say what I feel needs to be said to the offender (often regretting little pin pricks I could have left out later) and spend the rest of the time my feelings are still hurt talking to anyone who will listen about how angry I am.

    On the bright side, I usually forget why I'm mad within an hour or two and want to go right back to being friends.

    As a result, most of my friends don't take my outbursts too seriously.
    The man who can most truly be accounted brave is he who best knows what is sweet in life, and what is terrible, and yet goes into battle undettered to meet what is to come.-Pericles.

  3. #73
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
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    I explode on the inside, but don't implode.

    From outward appearance, my scowl appears rather defined, but in my mind i start off with an initial burst of anger and it quickly pans out into a very focused acute aggression. Unless I'm getting into a fight, that focused rage stays.

    In the case of physical brutality, the explosion is no longer kept inside :P

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  4. #74
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    I immediately make an effort to detach a little bit and think more "NT" style. I can never truly achieve this, sure, but it's better than me just flying off the handle, which is pretty much the only other alternative. If they get me too deep or too quick, I don't think about detaching, and then I end up making some really, really poor arguments. Or I make poor arguments all of the time because I rarely care enough about something to really check my emotions and make sure I'm creating a solid case that someone doesn't have to relate to me to understand. It has to be somewhere between the one threshhold of getting worked up and the other threshold of shutting off any kind of useful thinking.

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by wellgollymolly View Post
    (often regretting little pin pricks I could have left out later)
    The pin pricks will get you. Those are what keep reeling in my head after the fact.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanillaCat View Post
    When I get angry, I get UNCONTROLLABLE. I'd seriously do anything to anyone, and there is only a small fraction of my brain working, and telling me not to do something. Of course, afterwards, if I regretted it, I would try to fix things. But really, anger for me seems so foreign. I feel like it's the one emotion I can't effectively deal with.

    What about other ENFPs?
    i agree...it is so rare that i'm really angry that it's not at all cute...passion comes out in all sorts of ways i guess...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #77
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I explode and am unable to contain all that pent up passion. I yell, scream, get incredibly blunt and cynical/sarcastic and burst out in tears (crying is a form of stress-release to me). It takes me a while to get there but once there I really need to vent, and if you're the cause of it, you had better run. On the other hand, I do my very best to contain my anger if I cannot take it out on the right person, though some may leak, which I do appologize for. If I know that the anger was caused by a person that didn't mean to anger me, I will blow up nonetheless, but while I'm yelling, I will appologize for yelling (I know..its weird but it works), and say its not personal, just that this and this bugs me for this and this reason.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvanTheClown View Post
    I explode on the inside, but don't implode.
    Usually this for me, too.


    I always feel it coming on. I just try to detach and trace its source, treating it as a signal for something being wrong. Usually, anger isn't big deal for me. (Sadness, on the other hand, is.)

    I've slipped up from time to time, sure.. but I usually only really yell is when I know that it's the only way to get through to the other person. You can make all of the logical and rational arguments you want.. but, sometimes, all a person understands is aggression, especially another feeler who's flying off the handle at you.

    One wanted to sit and discuss an issue with me while he was all pissed off at me.. nuh uh, not like that.. I deliberately raised my voice and kicked him out of my car. Unfortunately, my plan backfired when I'd actually gotten enraged, and it took me a while to sort out the situation and then resolve the issue with him. He was over things far earlier than I was, and he was perplexed as to why I was irritated the next day

    I'm slow to anger, but I'm also slow to get over it. If I'm actually angry at someone, it's hard for me to talk to them at all until I sort it out in my own mind.


    When someone's irrationally angry at me, I find that they're usually looking for a temporary band-aid like an apology.. then, they get over it, think about it, and come back and apologize for their part.

  9. #79
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    First time poster here...

    I'm 31 and my method for handling anger has changed over the years. When I was younger, and still today depending on the source, I would *EXPLODE* if the situation was private enough. I'd break toys, punch walls, punch myself, yell at the top of my lungs. It's frankly terrifying and I agree with the OP that during such outbursts I feel like my cognitive ability is dramatically reduced. I wouldn't equate it with "Seeing red" as much as a sort of tunnel vision which exhausting that explosive anger is the only choice your brain sees and you learn to go with it because you know you won't be able to think straight until the outburst is over. As a teenager and 20-something I pretty much accepted this as part of my nature and avoided conflicts where possible. I noticed that the explosive nature was really a 'explosively *hurtful* nature', directed at whatever triggered my anger. I've said some awful things to people close to me; granted they did provoke me, but I regret them to this day.

    I still have outbursts, but they are virtually all in private. I've slowly accepted my responsibility to others to avoid confrontations that could result in them. Particularly with my wife, an ISFJ, and my mother another ENFP. The hardest part of dealing with my anger is trying to walk away from an argument or situation because it will provoke me; I find it really IRRITATING when you tell people that you need a break or you'll explode, and they continue to argue thinking that you're leaving because you don't want to discuss the problem (whatever it is).

    One other thing I've noticed about being me (and maybe true of other ENFPs) is that when I'm angry, I become extremely callous. Normally I'm very respectful and courteous around even total strangers, but I couldn't care less if the kid on the television was dying of leukemia and stated so, if I was in the middle of an outburst. And I've actually done that. It's sort of like your strength at feeling and using emotions as an ENFP gets dramatically twisted by anger.

    On the flipside I've talked several people out of suicide and generally do enjoy life, and based on how happy other people seem, I'm satisfied with being an ENFP.

  10. #80
    Senior Member scattershot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cantuse View Post
    I find it really IRRITATING when you tell people that you need a break or you'll explode, and they continue to argue thinking that you're leaving because you don't want to discuss the problem (whatever it is).
    That frustrates the hell out of me. I've finally matured enough to know I need to get out of a situation before I blow up, but some people just won't let you do it. Then they get mad at you when you can't hold it in any longer and do explode on them. Damn people...I tried to warn you that was gonna happen.

    And welcome - Yay, more ENFPs
    "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

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