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  1. #61
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    That would be a great song, if only it didn't sound like a thousand pigs dropped off the Eiffel tower!

  2. #62
    E. N.. T... :P RiderOnTheStorm's Avatar
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    ^ I know right. The record version is better. I'm just waiting for someone to remake it.
    You can't always do it right, you can always do what's left.

    Thoughts rearrange. Familiar now strange. All my skin is drifting on the wind.~

  3. #63
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Passive aggressive hugging?

  4. #64
    E. N.. T... :P RiderOnTheStorm's Avatar
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    ^ Can only speak for myself here. I could never give a passive aggressive hug. I mainly feel the way that song describes in the beginning stages of anger. Irrational, impulsive, uncontrollable urges to say the things I know will hurt the most, "destructive" So trying to rationalize during this state would be ill advised. Wait for it, and I will come around. Then I will be calm and ready to talk things out, because I can not stand conflict. There is nothing imo that can not be talked out, or worked through. Unless he is, or was cheating, an abuser or anything that violated my morals.
    You can't always do it right, you can always do what's left.

    Thoughts rearrange. Familiar now strange. All my skin is drifting on the wind.~

  5. #65
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    When I'm angry (or any emotion) it's hard for me to 'fake nice'. I don't do it. I can't. If I'm angry at you, I will not pretend that things are okay and grimace as I grudgingly shake your hand.

    I feel you should honor your emotions, your self, and also other people and their personal truth as much as you can in a situation. Sometimes people just don't like each other. That's fine.

    I hate passive-aggressiveness, or doing things you don't want to do because someone is 'a friend' or 'in need' and then later throwing it back in their faces when they never asked you to do such a thing.

    I'm all about speak your mind as soon as something comes up that bothers you.

    Honestly, anger is very exhausting and it can eat you up inside. It can also be very productive and serves a higher/another purpose but turning it into a constructive energy is also very exhausting and can take lot of higher level life skills and let's face it, most people do not have those in abundance. We're only as magnanimous as our internal limits allow us, everyone has different resources (internal/external) to deal with life, issues, and anger.

    As some others have already described, ENFPs can get extremely seething and know exactly where to hurt people the most. My anger can be white hot like fire but when I'm really heated I focus it with surgical skill. It actually really activates my Te and maybe to help control my internal Fi fire, I get super analytical about exactly how to 'resolve' the issue. I get so angry it's like it burns my compassionate nerve endings and other 'nice' humanitarian things that ENFPs are known for. All I can be at that moment is angry -- though I guess that's human nature in general.

    On the flip, this actually makes me very productive and all 'effect change'-ish. I think this is part of the 'idealist' motivation -- when anger at seeing injustice motivates you to change the causes. I'm very much about getting at the 'root' of the problem when I'm angry. That is the ONLY thing that will appease me. Interpersonally and otherwise, sometimes just explicitly telling the other party how I feel and why can calm me almost instantly.

    I think ENFPs have the nasty habit of having anger and other 'negative' (I know, value judgement) emotions and energy go inward and seep deep into our beings.

    Being angry can get me positively batty. 'Cause when I get angry, I get pretttttty stirred up. It can seriously consume me in the moment.

    The only way for me to cope has been to not let things bother me so much (HAHAHHHA, tell that to an INFJ or an ENFP -- HAHAHAHAHAHA). It's like I had to sever some nerves and just like losing the acuity of one of your senses your entire quality of life diminishes -- or rather changes. Kinda like how losing your sense of smell makes your palate much weaker (can't taste food very well).

    But, I haven't felt batty in a long minute, my self-esteem is higher and more stable, and my mood in general is much better. I think there's also a definite link between anger and depression because I have not felt this normal and actually pretty good in a while. So in other sense, my quality of life has improved. So it's a compromise.

    Until I develop those 'higher level life skills' and expand my inner resources, this is how I'll deal with anger and things that make me angry. It's a stop-gap, but it works.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #66
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Being angry can get me positively batty. 'Cause when I get angry, I get pretttttty stirred up.

    The only way for me to cope has been to not let things bother me so much (HAHAHHHA, tell that to an INFJ or an ENFP -- HAHAHAHAHAHA). It's like I had to sever some nerves and just like losing the acuity of one of your senses your entire quality of life diminishes -- or rather changes. Kinda like how losing your sense of smell makes your palate much weaker (can't taste food very well).
    i haven't been angry in a long time.

    well, the last time i was angry was at the dodger's management for screwing up not replacing maddux with chan ho.

    but yeah, other than that... i think lately, i anticipate things that might make me angry, and find ways to deal with it, and make that event not happen, or just see that in the overall picture, it was part of a balance, not personal disrespect...

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    but yeah, other than that... i think lately, i anticipate things that might make me angry, and find ways to deal with it, and make that event not happen, or just see that in the overall picture, it was part of a balance, not personal disrespect...

    ^^ Yeah, that's a higher level life skill.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    ^^ Yeah, that's a higher level life skill.
    kewl!

    so that means im becoming mature??


  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    kewl!

    so that means im becoming mature??

    :sucks in breath:

    Ooooh, I wouldn't go that far.

    LOLZ.

    Don't worry, ENFPs are meant to be 'youthful'.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    :sucks in breath:

    Ooooh, I wouldn't go that far.

    LOLZ.

    Don't worry, ENFPs are meant to be 'youthful'.
    PSHHHHHHHHHH!

    hmmm...

    actually the other day, this guy at the gym told me to make sure i stack my weights in hearing distance of these 3 cute girls. trying to act like a "boss man". LOL!

    i was like "it was like that when i got there", he was like "oh, ok". and 30 seconds later, i started shadow boxing in the mirror right in front of him, to see if he was gonna challenge me some more with a look. anyways, he didn't.

    ok i guess i have a long way to go. LOL!

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