[NF] Why Immature F-ers give me the creeps?

[Tigerlily]

I'd never go into someone's blog and pull up something personal. But within a set debate and thread, its perfectly fair to expect consistancy in responses. And yes it usually does provoke a heated, indiginant response from the person. It is not about "throw in your face" simply for the sake of throwing it in your face, it is about a lack of consistancy.

I wouldn't go back weeks or months because people's opinions can change, but I am deeply disturbed when people berate me for something I've done when they've recently done the same. It's the inconsistancy that triggers me.

Maybe I'm more laid back than I realized then. I may need to reread this thread, but I like to see discussions head in many different directions only to connect at the end. I see it as a learning experience but I also realize that we don't all think alike so maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way?

 

[Tigerlily]

I wouldn't go back weeks or months because people's opinions can change, but I am deeply disturbed when people berate me for something I've done when they've recently done the same. It's the inconsistancy that triggers me.

When did this happen? Maybe it's because I've had a long day and I'm tired but I don't see where you've been berated.

 

[heart]

When did this happen? Maybe it's because I've had a long day and I'm tired but I don't see where you've been berated.

I was admonished to be more understanding by Ath and you agreed with her. Berate sounds more theatrical and that was the tone orginally set in this thread, I'd thought I'd try and fit in.

 

[SquirrelTao]

why are people even arguing? immature Fs suck. it's true. (immature Ts do too.)

She went back and edited the title to add the word "immature".

If you are truly better than I and your way is superior, then shine in a superior fashion or quit boasting.

Hear, hear.

Well thank you for pointing that out because I must admit I was a bit confused by some of your responses in this thread. I'm not going to nitpick because it's too time consuming, but you do come off as bitchy and defensive in parts and when confronted with this, say that you are not irritated which is confusing because that's how it appears in writing. In all fairness I'd need to be sitting in the same room as you to know for sure but since that's not possible I'll just have to take your word for it.

She did not come across as bitchy and defensive to me.

We are all human after all. Okay well some of us aren't, but I believe the majority of the members here are human.

 

[Haphazard]

Speak for yourself, squirrel.

 

[SquirrelTao]

Maybe I'm more laid back than I realized then. I may need to reread this thread, but I like to see discussions head in many different directions only to connect at the end. I see it as a learning experience but I also realize that we don't all think alike so maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way?

No, you're not the only one, but it's so enervating. I really wish I could be infinitely full of positive energy. The reality is that I'm not. I would feel guilty if I really thought I derailed a discussion that had the potential to be the kind of discussion you want. This discussion seemed to have a different spirit about it, and I didn't feel it would be a good use of my energy to set my energies against that tide. Instead, I found it energizing to have a little bit of fun. Otherwise I would just not have participated at all.

 

[Tigerlily]

No, you're not the only one, but it's so enervating. I really wish I could be infinitely full of positive energy. The reality is that I'm not. I would feel guilty if I really thought I derailed a discussion that had the potential to be the kind of discussion you want. This discussion seemed to have a different spirit about it, and I didn't feel it would be a good use of my energy to set my energies against that tide. Instead, I found it energizing to have a little bit of fun. Otherwise I would just not have participated at all.

what what?

 

[ThatGirl]

Dear heart,

The way you have personalized this thread to be against you has been very helpful in providing the good hard evidence that you are seeking. I in no way claimed to be superior to anyone and stated in numerous posts that I was trying to gain understanding. Your posts have been a testament to your own insecurity that you hold everyone else responsible for. I have listed and I have learned. I do believe there is a difference between immature and mature feelers. I do believe, and you can take this personally, that you are an immature feeler. I also believe that you lack a day job since you have no understanding that it is impossible to reply to 200 plus posts in the span of a few days while working your ass off. I suggest to you that you reread this thread objectively to find where I stated I was superior. Where I stated that I based my ideas off of proof rather than experience. I suggest you tune into the times I humbled myself to say that there are ideas I don't completely understand. IE the functions.

I suggest that you open your mind to the fact that everyone has a right to their opinion, which could be based solely off of opinion as I again have stated numerous times that it was, and use your heart to understand concepts beyond yourself.

Thatgirl

 

[Athenian200]

I was admonished to be more understanding by Ath and you agreed with her. Berate sounds more theatrical and that was the tone originally set in this thread, I'd thought I'd try and fit in.

:blushing: Uh, actually, I probably should have pointed out that I understood your perspective as well, wanting to give Ts a taste of their own medicine. I've honestly done and wanted to do that more often than you have. It makes perfect sense, really. I was just suggesting to you that you might want to take the higher road instead of going down to their level.

When you said that you were just applying what you had learned, giving them what they had asked, I understood what you were doing... you were trying to teach them something. I respect that. If you had been a TJ, I would have assumed that... it's just not something I would have expected from an INFP (should theoretically value harmony and be focused on feeling-tone in a healthy state). Everything you're saying is very clear to me, seriously. A little blunt, a bit cruel, but very well-written and makes a lot of sense in many ways. I just didn't think you would want to be that way, or were under stress because Te is supposed to be your inferior. Your response indicated to me that it wasn't stress.

The last thing I wanted to come across as doing was admonishing you. I'm sorry I came across that way... I was trying to avoid seeming that way, but I guess I didn't communicate that well enough.

I'm sorry I seem to have created a rift between you and Jen. Everything I touch seems to fall apart.

 

[heart]

Dear heart,

The way you have personalized this thread to be against you
Thatgirl

Where did I suggest the thread was aimed at me personally? I am very well aware the thread was aimed at Feelers in general (or at least it was in it's inital phase) I merely answered you as a member of that group.

I do believe, and you can take this personally, that you are an immature feeler.

Probably. Thank you for the permission to take things personally. It's a load off my already taxed little mind.

I suggest that you open your mind to the fact that everyone has a right to their opinion, which could be based solely off of opinion as I again have stated numerous times that it was, and use your heart to understand concepts beyond yourself.

Now I am getting weary with all the inconsistancy. I thought it was selfish to base understanding on feelings?

I didn't say you don't have a right to your opinion.

Having a right to hold an opinion means having the right to speak it, it doesn't mean getting free pass from criticism.

What I said was if some thinkers want to come in here and critcize feelers for certain things, they best ought not to display those same behaviors and traits in their own posts. In fact they better be a shining example of the very traits they exault.



It wasn't solely directed at you, I've seen other Feelerish acting Thinkers do the same thing. This was just a chance to sound off about it in general and it was quite satisfying. Ah, some of you "hard thinkers" seem rather F. It's just so ironic when one of that ilk gets on a high-horse about all the things they despise about Feelers, that's all.



To Athenian, Everything's cool. No worries. The only reason I took issue with Jen was because it looked like she had done the same thing before. You certainly didn't start anything there.

A little blunt, a bit cruel, but very well-written and makes a lot of sense in many ways. I just didn't think you would want to be that way, or were under stress because Te is supposed to be your inferior. Your response indicated to me that it wasn't stress.

The door was opened by the manner in which this thread was presented. Like I said, there have been other Thinkers who presented similar questions but in less insulting and rude terms and I linked to one that turned into a very nice thread.

 

[Tigerlily]

Athenian I'm fine. Heart, yes after this post I gave this thread some thought, had a laugh with thatgirl and got decided that she is right to a point, disregarded the post and moved forward. As a feeler I sometimes take things personally as well. I have fought this the last 20 years of my life because I hate how I feel when I think that people are zeroing in on me and I go into attack mode. At this point in my life (almost 39), I know it's silly to care what strangers think about me (or my type) but it still creeps in now and then and I hate it. Thankfully for me my INTJ husband has rubbed off (perv ;P) on me over the years and I appreciate his alternate view on things which has helped me tremendously in dealing with people in my leisure and work life. Whenever I start to feel myself becoming emotional, I try and step back and put things into perspective and try and respond in a less emotional way. In this case I stepped back and read some of my favorite thinkers and feelers posts and realized that this is indeed just a discussion and that TG was just trying to understand.

Also in response to my earlier post where I semi lashed out at thatgirl, that was just me not wanting to miss out on any action announcing my presence. I realize now how confusing that must have been so next time I'll just post a picture of me saying :hi: to avoid any inconstancies and/or confusion.

 

[Haphazard]

A At this point in my life (almost 39), I know it's silly to care what strangers think about me (or my type) but it still creeps in now and then and I hate it. Thankfully for me my INTJ husband has rubbed off (perv ;P) on me over the years and I appreciate his alternate view on things which has helped me tremendously in dealing with people in my leisure and work life.

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

 

[SquirrelTao]

Speak for yourself, squirrel.

Actually, I was

 

[SquirrelTao]

what what?

Let me see if I can slow down and be more clear. You had asked if you're the only one who likes for discussions to get more productive than narrow debates in which the posters try to prove each other wrong. Since I have made several posts in this thread that have not been up to the high standard to which you want to hold all NFs, I thought I might respond to you. I was letting you know that I also enjoy the type of discussion that you say you like best. But in my experience it is enervating for me to try to set my energies against the tide, if the people who hold differing views than me do not approach the discussion in the spirit of sincere and productive dialogue. I therefore felt confronted with the choice either not to participate, or just to have a little fun. ThatGirl and BW were provocative to me, so I wanted to participate. The choice to have a little fun was energizing rather than enervating.

 

[Tigerlily]

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

Oh don't worry, I rub up all over him as well.

Let me see if I can slow down and be more clear. You had asked if you're the only one who likes for discussions to get more productive than narrow debates in which the posters try to prove each other wrong. Since I have made several posts in this thread that have not been up to the high standard to which you want to hold all NFs, I thought I might respond to you. I was letting you know that I also enjoy the type of discussion that you say you like best. But in my experience it is enervating for me to try to set my energies against the tide, if the people who hold differing views than me do not approach the discussion in the spirit of sincere and productive dialogue. I therefore felt confronted with the choice either not to participate, or just to have a little fun. ThatGirl and BW were provocative to me, so I wanted to participate. The choice to have a little fun was energizing rather than enervating.

Well, did you at least have fun?

 

[SquirrelTao]

Well, did you at least have fun?

Heh, in moderate amounts, though I wish that dastardly BlueWing would engage me in more debate. I think he is the perfect debate partner I have been looking for my whole life

 

[Tigerlily]

Heh, in moderate amounts, though I wish that dastardly BlueWing would engage me in more debate. I think he is the perfect debate partner I have been looking for my whole life

Hey, he could be the one. BW if you're reading this at least meet this nice female half way. Let me know if you need any guidance in the hooking up dept.

 

[SquirrelTao]

Hey, he could be the one. BW if you're reading this at least meet this nice female half way. Let me know if you need any guidance in the hooking up dept.

Well, I'm married, but I have been looking all my life for the perfect debating partner. A perfect debating partner would be challenging, would be arrogant enough so that I would not feel guilty if I unleashed the full intensity of my mind, would never want to give up, would like to argue about the kinds of topics that interest me, and would ...

In real life, however, I have found that all the verbiage inevitably reaches the point of diminishing returns. I've also found that my mood and motivation changes, so that if I'm having fun, it never continues long before I feel guilty or get bored or something else to spoil the fun. I have thus given up on ever having the perfect debate. BlueWing did almost make the dream come alive again, though.

 

[Sunshine]

First of all don't be offended by the title I just thought it was funny.

F people creep me out. I don't understand them. I see making decisions off of your feelings as selfish and irrisponsible. The worst excuse ever, "I felt like it", like that matters. If people justify their actions according to their feelings where is the line that says what you were feeling is wrong. It seems immature. How is putting your feelings on someone else productive to anything? Where is the self control? You cant argue against what someone is feeling and asking someone to take your feelings into account is like asking them to cater unobjectively to you.

I am not trying to make people mad here I am trying to understand. What makes you all tick?

How come the title is about unhealthy F-ers but then this is about F-ers in general?

 

[disregard]

Because the thread was originally titled "Why F-ers give me the creeps" and a moderator or the OP herself changed it after it became apparent that the object of the OP's contempt was not, in fact, the so-called "feeling judgment", but rather immature, unhealthy emotionality in others, which, as we all know, can be found in feelers as well as thinkers.