You have my sympathy if you're being forced to eat lunch in some kind of "go team go!" situation. I'd rather eat alone and spend the time recharging myself in silence at work. But I know that many times there's nutty theories about this and that at a workplace I am going to have to put aside my wants and wishes and do what's required, whether it makes sense or not, so long as I am not asked to be abusive towards someone else or break any laws.
It's the type of situation where my personal happiness doesn't really factor in and that's just reality.
I thankfully work in an environment where no one really can go to lunch at the same time and is very much geek friendly. One of the office favourites I would actually have to peg as ENTP as well.
Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.
INFP, 6w7, IEI
I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.
I agree most of the feelers I met may have been imature and am now seperating those conclusions I'm head from f to mentality. I would like to experience feelers with high consiousness levels. I have a new view and goal in mind.
Yay! I'm glad to hear that. I hope that you meet some good feelers to help you on your journey.
I don't see why happiness is in the equation at all. happiness to me comes from within the self and is not swayed by external circumstances easily. Because you can not control the world it is best not to rely on things or situations for gratification. To me the world is separate from emotion which only exists with in myself. By putting that aside it gives a clearer view of how to handle situations for maximum efficiency. This includes putting aside the will to make people happy or to be self sacrificing which to me is martyr ish. It serves no purpose to anyone if everything is functioning to its capability.
Hmm... I'm not too sure what you are talking about here... Your profile says you are ENTP, and you still claim that you have separated your happiness from outside world. Sounds strange. I'm introvert and for me it should be a lot more easier to find happiness inside myself, but for me it doesn't work that way. Besides, if you really feel that the F-people creep you, isnt it same as saying that the feelers are disturbing your happiness? This means that your happiness is also dependent of the outside.
But, anyway... I don't think it is anyhow possible to make your happiness independent from outside world, and this is very important point if you want to understand feelers. The reaction that you get from us differs, but the reasons are pretty much the same. If I am in a conflict situation, it gives me this feeling of helplessness and starts actually feeling as a pressure on my chest. Its something I cant stand. I want to get out of it, and if theres a way to make the conflict stop, I'll try to. But, to someone else it could be something more irrational, which might seem to you like they've gone nuts. This goes for all the situations concerning other people. I want people to be happy with each other, and I usually don't do anything that would lead to a situation that is painful to me, in other words, I very rarely act in the way you described feelers in your earlier posts.
I'm not sure if anything I just said has much to do with the topic, I'm not so sober anymore. Anyway, I guess I want to say that with people you should never rule out happiness as motivation. Everyone wants to be happy.
I think it's less about if you're having lunch on your own, but if you're planning to go to lunch with others. You personally may not do this so it may be a moot point; however, those who do typically do this to aid in workplace cohesion which can help make communication more effective. It's easier to get an immature F to do what you want when they're on amicable terms with you than not.
Now, if you are in a situation where you get to decide who you work with you may be able to avoid this issue all together. On the other hand, if you do not have that control what is better? Effecive communication resulting in a better product or ineffective communication which causes things to take forever to do?
That's what I was trying to get across.
"My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips
I am saying that when strength and control of emotion is achieved you have the ability to feel what you want when you want most of the time excluding extreme circumstance. Then you choose not to dwell on negative emotion longer than necessary for it to spark the thought process that fixes the situation. Your emotions become independent of external circumstance and that which might bother most and lead a situation to spiral out of control is dismissed because it doesn't really matter.
For example I am hanging out with an ENFJ and an ESTP. The ENFJ likes the ESTP but the ESTP puts her in the friend category. ENFJ says that she completely understands the situation and now just likes him as a friend. So ENFJ and ESTP and I are all hanging out drinking beers when ESTP and I get in a pretty good analytical debate. It just happened. ENFJ starts to get massively jealous and pout and tries to get his by doing things like scooting her chair directly between our line of sight. Ok I let it slide because she is cool and I knew she had feelings for him and she is drunk. The next morning I tell her never to include me in the middle of animal planet again. She laughs and agrees.
Fast forward the three of use are sitting around talking again everyone sober and ESTP and I again fall into some heated discussion. ENFJ after several attempts at stopping it throws up her hands and walks away ignoring the both of us while we are now focused solely on her and her feelings. She claims she just can't handle conflict. We state that it was just discussion. She looks like she is about to cry and says she can't stand debates and it makes her feel sick. She says that she is not mad at anyone everything is fine. At this point I had already backed away without breaking eye contact but was listening from a distance as I swore not to hang with her while he is around anymore.
Fast forward to later that night just ENFJ and I are hanging out and I said something can't remember what. She says "see that's why I was so pissed off earlier" at which point I was done.
If this girl would set her feelings aside and observe herself from the outside in she could work on what she needed to do to get out of the situation that is eating her up inside. But instead she harbors unpredictable emotions that constantly interfere with her objective.
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
When I make a decision it comes down to simple math how does this affect everone and what are the ratios for each senario. I don't personalize things so much.
Thank you for your post.
Please provide a concrete example of using math to make a decision as to how to treat a group of people in everyday life. And I don't mean a monetary decision. Let's take this case: deciding where to go to lunch with a group of five friends at work. You would use math to make this choice? What would you do, hand out surveys to each of the five friends and ask them to rate each restaurant in a twenty mile radius?