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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I never end a friendship (or relationship with a relative) without telling the other person in no uncertain terms why and giving them a chance and a second chance to give me what I am not getting from them, be it respect, good boundaries or whatever.

    The problem I have seen is that people don't take me seriously when I tell them "Hey, we have a real problem and this is what it is." I think part of that problem is my quiet off line nature leads some people into believing I am weak and that I won't hold to my word if I say that there will be consequenses for actions.
    I find the same thing! I never end a relationship until after I've made that effort to explain what's not working for me, what's hurting me.

    Actually, I don't "end" relationships. What happens is, I give people chance after chance, and I share and share, always hoping for the best, and then one day I wake up and see their true colors. Once I've seen that, it's over, because it's become clear that the person is someone whom I would not choose to have in my life. There's no anger or resentment, I'm just not there anymore. I can't be. I have nothing left to give. At that point, I feel very empty inside, and it takes me months to fill myself back up again.

    Unfortunately, I don't explain to the other person, which isn't good. At that point, I don't believe they'd understand anyway, so I don't even waste the effort.

    (This off-topic to the thinking/feeling thing, but anyway.)
    There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way. - Anonymous

    The brick walls are there for the other people. - Randy Pausch

  2. #62
    Senior Member SquirrelTao's Avatar
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    I disagree that the world requires impersonal logic. I've found that to get by in the world, I need to do more when I communicate with a manager, co-worker or customer besides, "I report, you decide". I've found that if I communicate in a "I report, you decide" way, the majority of people do not know how to react. I've found I need to give them an emotional component as well, and that when I do, the communication goes much better. Even with a manager. Because they are looking for it, whether they realize it or not.

    They need those emotional cues. Even the ISTJ I worked for. Even the ESTJ did. Without those emotional cues, people don't know how much they are supposed to expect or what they are supposed to expect, among other things. In all reality, I've found things don't go well if I'm expecting to just give an authority information and then let them make a decision with it using their own judgement. Because they really do not know how to judge on the basis of just raw information alone.

    In reality, people hardly ever think without emotional and social cues mixed in generously with logic, because they rely upon the emotional and social components to make their thought processes more efficient. This ends up working okay many times but also can get irrational. I think it's okay to go with this normal way of thinking, unless there is a problem that needs to be solved. It's the problems that need the more strict and hard thinking.

  3. #63
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    This was my question to you in the last thread concerning the subject...

    How do you cope with this being your third or fourth function when the world forces you too often to make impersonal judgments...
    I can't think because I'm a feeler. I just feel emotionally and irrationally everything.

    blaa blaa blaa. The same T-F song is playing again.

  4. #64
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    If you learn to handle your Te, it will do you wonders. Learn to use Te.

  5. #65
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Growing up, I was always a very strong F, but in the last 4 or 5 years I've been using Te pretty effectively.

    I'm 33 years old now and becoming more balanced all the time.

    EDIT: Here's my stats:

    Extraverted[56]Intuitive[50]Feeling[38] Perceiving[56]

    moderately expressed extravert

    moderately expressed intuitive personality

    moderately expressed feeling personality

    moderately expressed perceiving personality



  6. #66
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I could not disagree more with this statement. I never end a friendship (or relationship with a relative) without telling the other person in no uncertain terms why and giving them a chance and a second chance to give me what I am not getting from them, be it respect, good boundaries or whatever.

    The problem I have seen is that people don't take me seriously when I tell them "Hey, we have a real problem and this is what it is." I think part of that problem is my quiet off line nature leads some people into believing I am weak and that I won't hold to my word if I say that there will be consequenses for actions.

    Maybe an immature INFP would blow up one day and storm out over something small but I don't believe a mature one would.
    Heart, I tend to agree with this. I also think when we see the writing on the wall though, others don't.
    It's a rare person who actually listens, and acknowledges what is being said when limits have been hit.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #67
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Well, I think I might be too uneducated to answer here, but as far as thinking goes, I can be aware of it, but most of the time, it look completely past it. I don't know if that's good or bad, because when I'm really moved, emotionally, my Fi will totally take charge, and all logic is pushed aside. So, sorry if that was too general, but it's the best I can do..I'm not used to thinking about it.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  8. #68
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Well, I think I might be too uneducated to answer here, but as far as thinking goes, I can be aware of it, but most of the time, it look completely past it. I don't know if that's good or bad, because when I'm really moved, emotionally, my Fi will totally take charge, and all logic is pushed aside. So, sorry if that was too general, but it's the best I can do..I'm not used to thinking about it.
    LOL. I think too much, but can't always verbalise it. Frustrating to say the least. The english language has it's limitations. Sometimes I wish I could show people what's in my head.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #69
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    This was my question to you in the last thread concerning the subject...

    How do you cope with this being your third or fourth function when the world forces you too often to make impersonal judgments...
    I find this question amusing.

    It's news to me that I have to 'deal with Thinking' and cope with it and be forced to make impersonal judgments.

    I think all of the time. I want things to make sense, and I need things to make sense. I don't even view my everyday real life as my sifting through 'values', vs. 'logic', and having to choose one over the other. I simply make decisions based on the situation at hand, and sometimes they can be quite impersonal - as not everything in life is personal. But the distinction is that I don't have to *treat* people in an impersonal way when discussing or delivering my decision. And sometimes it is more important to me to factor in other peoples' needs to make what I consider the best decision possible. That's never everything, though. I juggle many factors.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #70
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Not very well I'm afraid... You see I don't actually have a brain in my skull just excess heart that would not fit into my chest cavity... It seems I may have too much heart It's a tough life
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
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