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  1. #21
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by targo View Post
    Your comments are all rather insulting.... you have yet again generalized and made assumptions about personality types without taking into account the individual. That drives me in sane purely insane!

    I have never been one to make friends easily but when I do I am loyal, I don't pass judgment and I am not solely in it for what I think they can do for me but rather how I can help them and do for them.
    You're loyal because unlike most ENFPs you dont have 65845-08480--054-805-8038-058-0-085-058-048 people in your social network and dont think like most of them do... in a way like... it doesnt matter what happens to the people you consider friends for now because you can have them all replaced at a snap of a finger...makes no sense to maintain friendships or work through them when problems happen...because its so much easier to just get new friends... and new is always better to an average ENFP...that Ne trully loves novelty...
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  2. #22
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alienclock View Post
    I have never had to make impersonal judgments. What is the purpose of judgment if not to serve the person?

    To solve problems/understand how the world works/instead of thinking that your fantasies is all you need..
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  3. #23
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    That was a good post FL.

    Except, I doubt you can really be thinking about a solid relationship with an average ENFP unless you got into their elite category, which tends to be difficult for an INTP. At least more difficult than with the INFP, simply because INFPs tend to have more in common with them.

    As far as I am concerned though, most ENFPs will pretend to like you just to avoid problems and possibly even go so far as to mislead you into believing that you're getting closer to the 'non-disposable'category.

    But then again, little would you know, they just start slowly drifting away without you having a clue why. Seems to me, unless they believe that they need you, not just enjoy you, you're marked for replacement unless you somehow manage to hit the 'safe heaven.'

    I agree that INFPs are more likely to just blow up on you, yet again, I think its easier for you to work things out with them than with the ENFP. The ENFP, being in the same position would just build a wall between themselves and you and the friendship will begin to evaporate there, whilst the INFP, by blowing up on you will open the door for a confrontation to work things through. This may lead to honesty and clarity, which are essential to the INTP.

    So I dont know if the ENFP has a one up on you there by having the ability to forego exploding on you in heated anger. Because what they do is much worse...they are being subtle about the same thing that the INFP is being vocal about..
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  4. #24
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    This was my question to you in the last thread concerning the subject...

    How do you cope with this being your third or fourth function when the world forces you too often to make impersonal judgments...
    The world never forces me to make impersonal judgements unless we're talking about math or the sciences. Anyway, Thinking as a Jungian function usually only shows up in me when I'm joking or when I'm upset.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    To solve problems/understand how the world works/instead of thinking that your fantasies is all you need..
    Don't people solve problems and try to understand how the world works out of a natural human curiosity, or more often to better serve themselves and others?
    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    You're loyal because unlike most ENFPs you dont have 65845-08480--054-805-8038-058-0-085-058-048 people in your social network and dont think like most of them do... in a way like... it doesnt matter what happens to the people you consider friends for now because you can have them all replaced at a snap of a finger...makes no sense to maintain friendships or work through them when problems happen...because its so much easier to just get new friends... and new is always better to an average ENFP...that Ne trully loves novelty...
    Okay, so is Seawolf back or something?
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    That was a good post FL.

    Except, I doubt you can really be thinking about a solid relationship with an average ENFP unless you got into their elite category, which tends to be difficult for an INTP. At least more difficult than with the INFP, simply because INFPs tend to have more in common with them.

    As far as I am concerned though, most ENFPs will pretend to like you just to avoid problems and possibly even go so far as to mislead you into believing that you're getting closer to the 'non-disposable'category.

    But then again, little would you know, they just start slowly drifting away without you having a clue why. Seems to me, unless they believe that they need you, not just enjoy you, you're marked for replacement unless you somehow manage to hit the 'safe heaven.'

    I agree that INFPs are more likely to just blow up on you, yet again, I think its easier for you to work things out with them than with the ENFP. The ENFP, being in the same position would just build a wall between themselves and you and the friendship will begin to evaporate there, whilst the INFP, by blowing up on you will open the door for a confrontation to work things through. This may lead to honesty and clarity, which are essential to the INTP.

    So I dont know if the ENFP has a one up on you there by having the ability to forego exploding on you in heated anger. Because what they do is much worse...they are being subtle about the same thing that the INFP is being vocal about..
    Let me put it this way…

    In my experience ENFPs like to keep their friends close so that they can keep their finger on the pulse of the relationship. In fact, they like their relationships so close that it can be kind of claustrophobic for their friends. Also, they often have a bit of a paranoid streak, and keeping people close reassures them that the relationship is solid. If circumstances create some distance in the friendship, sometimes it can awaken their paranoid streak; and that's when I've seen them grow cold on a relationship and drift away from a friend.

    You mentioned that you were separated from your friend for a year. It may be that the separation awakened your friend's paranoia and it's hard for him or her to rebuild the friendship. Also, I've seen a case where an ENFP grew frustrated with an INTP friend who wanted to keep more distance between them than the ENFP preferred. It made the ENFP paranoid when he couldn't charm the INTP into a close relationship, and so he turned kind of cold toward the INTP.

    INFPs, on the other hand, aren't as worried by distance. In fact, because they like to idealize relationships in their head, a little distance or a period of separation may actually benefit the relationship in the sense of "making the heart grow fonder." A too-close friendship may rub the INFP's nose in the daily irritations of the relationship and take away some of the luster of the relationship in the INFP's mind. A more distant friendship or even a period apart may benefit the relationship by giving the INFP time to rebuild the idealized version of the relationship in his mind.

    So in that sense, an INTP and INFP may be more in synch in terms of surviving a separation or being comfortable with a more distant or off-and-on friendship. That's my own theory, anyway.

    But other than that, I wouldn't doubt the quality of an ENFP's friendship. If anything, their friendship can be so strong and close that it becomes a little smothering (at least from my point of view). I think the main thing differentiating the friendship of INFPs and ENFPs (absent of any other problems) is how they react to personal distance and separation. Distance and separation can make an ENFP paranoid and ruin the relationship for them, while distance and separation can actually improve a friendship with an INFP and delay the onset of the stage when INFPs become disillusioned about the relationship and start putting a lot of minuses on the friendship scorecard.

    So maybe you want to look at your friendship with your ENFP in that light. Your inability to cross the threshold into the "elite category" may have something to do with that, especially in light of the long separation that occurred recently.

    It's true that ENFPs insist on having a lot of control over who becomes a friend and when they let friends into the inner circle. And it's true that they grow disillusioned and move on when a former friend won't play the role that they want. But from my experience it's not because they're ditzes or because they want to use their friends as stepping stones. I tend to see it as governed by their paranoid streak. Conditions for the friendship have to be right, or ENFPs get paranoid and lose interest in the friendship. Much as conditions have to be right so that INFPs can idealize their relationships for best effect. Just my theory, of course.

    Note the following link, where ENFPs are linked with a tendency to Paranoid Personality Disorder: PTypes - Correspondence of PTypes, Keirsey, Enneagram, Psychiatric, and Astrological Types

    FL

  6. #26
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    Just another Fe talking...
    You have no idea how much you make me smile.

  7. #27
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    Suppose you've been friends with an NFP for 2 years. Then you get to the point where you're forced to part company for a year. Could it very easily be the case that you will be coming back to a very different person then you've known earlier?

    Simply because their feelings about you changed for a reason that you don't understand?
    People change over time. It's not an F thing.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  8. #28
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    When it comes to close friends, yes, I do have that paranoid streak. The worst experience I've ever had in my life was when one of my close, close friends of 4 years suddenly and unexpectedly told me that she was not my friend anymore, and had been trying to tell me that our friendship was dying for years, but I "wasn't listening". That was pure hell, even though I had like 4385784375835838594735368375 friends. She stopped talking to me for two weeks. Then one day, I was sitting with some people*, feeling depressed, and she came over and hugged me, and said "Does Jenny need a hug? And that was the first time I cried in public, ever. Either way..we're friends again. Ever since I've been a little paranoid about her.


    *note how I said "some people". I was actually referring to other friends, because friends are like neutral background-type people. Friendship is like the medium for me.

    I make a lot of new friends all the time...if I think someone is shy then I will approach them multiple times until they become comfortable with me. But usually, if people don't come back to me to interact, then I'll take it as a sign of disinterest and step back. Especially if people talk amongst themselves and completely ignore me when I try to talk to them. And I do feel bad after for not being able to charm them into wanting to interact with me. It's a bit of an ego stab for me. But unless people practically ignore me, I will never ignore them.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    You're loyal because unlike most ENFPs you dont have 65845-08480--054-805-8038-058-0-085-058-048 people in your social network and dont think like most of them do... in a way like... it doesnt matter what happens to the people you consider friends for now because you can have them all replaced at a snap of a finger...makes no sense to maintain friendships or work through them when problems happen...because its so much easier to just get new friends... and new is always better to an average ENFP...that Ne trully loves novelty...
    How much actual experience/information to you have to back all this up? Based on seeing people day to day in my life, the general rules is that they do not follow all the stereotypes of a particular type (Otherwise classifying would be extremely easy.), so expecting certain people to act a certain way almost all the time because of "the Ne truly loves company", or some other such function description, is as or more likely ot be wrong than right.

  10. #30
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    How much actual experience/information to you have to back all this up? Based on seeing people day to day in my life, the general rules is that they do not follow all the stereotypes of a particular type (Otherwise classifying would be extremely easy.), so expecting certain people to act a certain way almost all the time because of "the Ne truly loves company", or some other such function description, is as or more likely ot be wrong than right.
    ja.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

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