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[INFP] Is it common for INFPs to behave like ESTJs in social environments?

Yaru

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I was asking whether was normal to some INFPs to behave like an ESTJ to cover up they weaknesses in front of other people.
In my opinion it's way easier to fit in if you behave like an ESTJ.

I've known a girl that since childhood was a total INFP until she got to middle school.
When I met her back in high school she was totally changed.
Whenever she was around other people behaved pretty much like a sort of ESTJ/ENTJ, so much that was almost impossible to tell she was an INFP unless you met her at home in front of a cup of hot chocolate, some dramas and her fat cat.

When I was at school she would always nitpick about every single mistake I made or pointing out and try to correct my goofiness and messy way of doing stuff.
She was almost like a severe guide to me and even though being around her made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable, she was extremely helpful.
She said I needed something that keeps me closer to the ground, otherwise I can fly away with the wind.
Sometimes she would be as sweet as she originally was, but there were years in which this change was almost absolute and I almost couldn't stand to have her around at all.
Then I got closer to her and started to meet her at home, just the two of us. And she was another person. We sleep under a huge pile of clothes and cat food after we had a cheese cake at 4 AM. She would complain about people and say that she likes to just sit in her room watching movies or reading without the need to see anyone else.
Even though seems to be a pretty down-to-earth and secure person, but she is the exact opposite.
When I told other INFP friends that don't know her as well as I do that she was an INFP too they didn't believe me.

So, do you know other people you suspect they are INFP but tend to behave differently?
Could this be why we are so much less than all the other types?
Do you think INFPs are more ashamed to show their weaknesses than most other types? Maybe cause our strong points are considered to be more ''weird'' or ''unnecessary'' by society?

I think it is good to be able to learn to be more practical, clean and decisive, but I think that my friend tried so hard all the time, that when she got home exploded in all her destructive INFPness and found it hard to be stable at all.
 

great_bay

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It's very uncommon for people to strongly use their inferior functions. Go try using your Te all the time for yourself.
 

HongDou

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She might actually be ESTJ and the qualities in her you admire and relate to make her seem more INFP in your eyes.
 

RandomINTP

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[MENTION=23393]Yaru[/MENTION]
In your signature, you wrote "Judging" wrong.
 

RandomINTP

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She might actually be ESTJ and the qualities in her you admire and relate to make her seem more INFP in your eyes.

I would have thought INFJ.
She's an Introvert that's really good at acting like an Extrovert (like me)
I believe NF out of pure intuition
And the J cause she plans to act that way in society.

Chanaynay, what do you think about this?
 

HongDou

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I would have thought INFJ.
She's an Introvert that's really good at acting like an Extrovert (like me)
I believe NF out of pure intuition
And the J cause she plans to act that way in society.

Chanaynay, what do you think about this?

There's no decisive way to type her with the given information, but most ESTJs I know act like the way OP has described so that's why I said she might actually be ESTJ.
 

RandomINTP

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There's no decisive way to type her with the given information, but most ESTJs I know act like the way OP has described so that's why I said she might actually be ESTJ.

Not a decisive one, but we could speculate. I'm gonna stick to my opinion about her being an INFJ, an anxious and extroverted-acting one. If you're not happy with doing that, how 'bout we ask her for more information? [MENTION=23393]Yaru[/MENTION], can you decribe your friend's personality further?
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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Definitely not, it's so hard to. INFps don't usually behave so outgoing and extroverted. We're naturally oversensitive with low Te, so people can easily read us which is ironic because we're quiet loners who don't open up like ESTjs. But still, people can see through our facades so easily since we can be so unaware (Dom Fi-Ne). ESTJs and INFps are polar opposites on different ends of a spectrum. Only if you put someone under high stress in a certain condition would they be able to use their opposite MBTI type.
 

Raspberry_rain

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Strangely enough I would say yes it is but it's approached from a completely different angle. My mom is INFP and my ex roommate/best friend is ESTJ. They are INSANELY similar in some situations. Mainly when it comes to conflict ex. both of them tend to believe they're always right and be very vocal about it, but for INFPs it's because they think something is morally right and are trying to look out for you. For ESTJs it's their thought process and they're convinced their answer is the smartest. Both can be equally frustrating to the independent thinking yet people pleaser ENFP (lots of personal experience) but they also provide lots of communication skills practice lol.
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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Strangely enough I would say yes it is but it's approached from a completely different angle. My mom is INFP and my ex roommate/best friend is ESTJ. They are INSANELY similar in some situations. Mainly when it comes to conflict ex. both of them tend to believe they're always right and be very vocal about it, but for INFPs it's because they think something is morally right and are trying to look out for you. For ESTJs it's their thought process and they're convinced their answer is the smartest. Both can be equally frustrating to the independent thinking yet people pleaser ENFP (lots of personal experience) but they also provide lots of communication skills practice lol.
True they are similiar because of the same functions, but INFPs are way inward about it while ESTJs are just too outward about it like they want the whole world to know.
 
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