I frequently feel like I would rather claw my eyes out with a fork than deal with people (that was an attempt at dark humor), though I also feel an intense need to aid and be of service to others. I find interaction with others an expense of energy, yet I can speak at length about ideals like compassion and authenticity and the quest for knowledge. I would not consider myself shy, yet it feels unnatural to exert much force when I speak or interact with others. I love others, but feel like I need to keep my distance to stay feeling well. I have violent mood swings, but present a placid face to the public. I want to help others, but I will harm somebody if I can justify a net good will result (this last one almost never happens anymore as the goal now is to minimize harm done while keeping ideals like compassion, honesty, and openness alive.)
How do these conflicting trait pairs I possess reconcile?
Am I a people person or a recluse?
On a less self-centered note, does anybody else have contradictions about themselves they would like to post? I will try to help you reconcile, too.