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  1. #1
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    Default Initiating conversation

    Typical story it would seem: I'm an INFP with strong feelings for an ENFJ. Problem: the ENFJ rarely initiates conversation. Once I do, the ENFJ will talk, talk, talk. But the ENFJ will never begin.

    I'm taking this as a sign of lack of interest. Thoughts, kind folk?

  2. #2
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    Typical story it would seem: I'm an INFP with strong feelings for an ENFJ. Problem: the ENFJ rarely initiates conversation. Once I do, the ENFJ will talk, talk, talk. But the ENFJ will never begin.

    I'm taking this as a sign of lack of interest. Thoughts, kind folk?

    Hmm...I don't agree that it's lack of interest for sure. My ENFJ was difficult to get going in the beginning as far as conversation goes. This may have been because he wanted to get to know me better so he was more sure about conversations he started/things he said. I think he was overly concerned with offending me but that happens so rarely, it's a non issue.

    If he wasn't engaging at all, I would be concerned. Since he is you may want to (gently) encourage them to start more conversations/don't be afraid to speak their mind...etc.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  3. #3
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    We have been friends for a while and this ENFJ has said they feel comfortable with me so perhaps then it is not such a good sign

  4. #4
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    We have been friends for a while and this ENFJ has said they feel comfortable with me so perhaps then it is not such a good sign
    Have you ever told them about your concern?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  5. #5
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    I'm afraid of being too needy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    I'm afraid of being too needy.
    Wouldn't the ENFJ in question need to make that determination, not you? In my experience, that would likely be the last thing they thought if you sincerely brought up the topic.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    I'm afraid of being too needy.
    I agree you need to talk to the ENFJ about your concerns. If they feel you're pathetic, their lips might lie to you, but their facial expressions and actions don't.
    Likes rosemilk liked this post

  8. #8
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    Thank you both. This is good advice.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by rosemilk View Post
    Thank you both. This is good advice.
    Oh! One other very important thing I thought of is ENFJs deal in social currency! If an ENFJ goes silent, it could be your cue to reciprocate. For example, if they liked your picture on Facebook, then like theirs. They seem to appreciate equal give and take.

  10. #10
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    Oh wow I had no idea. I like *all* their things, though

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