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[ENFJ] ENFJ: Talk About Yourself!

Zhash

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
145
My two cents: I adore ENFJs and gravitate toward them. I think it is because I'm so impressed by the way they handle themselves and the people that they are exposed to, in general. The ENFJs that I know are some of the funniest people I've ever met. I get so excited to see them because the entire evening is spent in laugher. Warm, witty and intuitive--my wonderful ENFJ friends.
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
My two cents: I adore ENFJs and gravitate toward them. I think it is because I'm so impressed by the way they handle themselves and the people that they are exposed to, in general. The ENFJs that I know are some of the funniest people I've ever met. I get so excited to see them because the entire evening is spent in laugher. Warm, witty and intuitive--my wonderful ENFJ friends.
Oddly enough I gravitate towards INTJ's. I think they're hilariously funny people.
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Brendan I keep having to remind myself you're not an INTJ with your House avatar:)
Lol. Yes. I find Doctor House to be a hilarious character, and I strongly identify with his friend Wilson, who I suspect is an ENFJ.
 

Zhash

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
145
Oddly enough I gravitate towards INTJ's. I think they're hilariously funny people.

It's amazing how ENFJs and INTJs feed off each other in a comical way. I know that my posts on this forum are often serious and reflective of what is inside of me (it's a safe environment) but I've been told by my ENFJ friends that I'm probably one of the most comical INTJs on the planet. I think it's the personality of the ENFJ that makes the INTJ come alive with humor. ENFJs verbalize what INTJs are thinking and then, they start feeding off each other. Creativity of thought and merriment is in abundance and it's truly a hysterical event when it all comes out......and when it's a tad bawdy, all hell breaks loose.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Yeah, my BFF is INTJ. We get along very well. I find his surliness amusing. We went to dinner last weekend and I started drawing a stick octopus on the tablecloth. He snatched the pen out of my hand and said, "I can't take you anywhere" but he thought it was funny. :wubbie: Sometimes I have horrible manners. :blush:
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
So is this just an INTJ/ENFJ love affair, or does every type have their favorite friend?
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
We've been friends since middle school. He's the last person I expected to be friends with after all this time. I liked to annoy him with my good cheer because he so obviously didn't want me around. I guess I wore him down.

Now it's just a very comfortable relationship. I don't feel a need to be "nice" around him and I let my mean streak that I usually keep covered up loose. He's the only person I don't feel like I have to walk around on eggshells with.
 

meanlittlechimp

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
338
MBTI Type
ENTP
I probably am taking this very personal, but I highly resent the fact that ENFJs are often compared to everyone's favorite type to hate, ESFJs. I don't even understand where all the antipathy towards ESFJs comes from. I do understand that my personality is such that I create more positive interactions with people and while I may not often be a recipient of SJ "you're so weird," I do get that when I turn down Fe and turn up Ni. All the more reason for me to keep Fe up. Maybe even more than the INTP, an ENFJ is a social chameleon.

Of all the types pairs (where you switch the S/N) I find the ESFJ/ENFJ the pairing that is least like each other. ISTP/INTP, ENTJ/ESTJ, ESTP/ENTP, etc are in my mind far more similar to each other than the ESFJ/ENFJ.

I can get along with all the types but the ESFJ is the hardest for me to undestand or enjoy spenging prolonged periods of time with. I don't hate them or anything, it's just their values and motivations are, by far, the most foreign to my own.

In a work enviroment, I actually prefer the ESFJ to most other types. They are hard, conscienscious workers.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
Much moreso, I'd say.

Really? I'd say that was us... the ENFJ's I know seem to always have a level of observable consistency in the way they present to different people, while I can find myself using different accents, totally different senses of humour and almost becoming a different person entirely depending who I'm with. I get the feeling that ENFJ chameleon-ing is more like just making different choices of what to say and how to say it best, but still people would know it was you if they heard a voice-distorted recording.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
So I posted this in the type confusion thread, but now I have a question about what I posted that I need ENFJ input on.


---

Anyone else ever consistently type an ENFJ as ESFP (not all ENFJs, but more than once made the error)? Maybe it's a maturity/age thing of the ENFJ who appears ESFP, or maybe it's me not trying to get to know them well enough... but I really feel like ENFJs are people I connect with really well. And when I don't instantly and intuitively "recognize" them as ENFJ (as in, within two minutes of seeing them interact) I have trouble believing that they are actually ENFJ and not ESFP.

There have been three or four people who I nkow have been tested and claim they are ENFJ but I really doubt these three or four people. I wonder if they even read the ESFP things and if it was just the Fourier effect.

Or maybe there's something about it that I'm missing? Is this just b/c I'm assuming I'll have a recognizable "moment" with all ENFJs?

Can ENFJs be really flighty and visibly, sometimes frequently, emotionally unstable? These three or four people all have high highs... but really weird lows. Like they didn't see what was coming and they got all depressed about it... when I would've assumed an ENFJ would've seen it coming.

i've always seen ENFJs as emotionally stable. Sure, I've seen 'em express every sort of emotion, but in an emotionally stable way. And generally they don't cry for themselves, I've actually only seen ENFJs cry for others. These people were upset for themselves.
 

Usehername

On a mission
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May 30, 2007
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3,794
I've since thought about it... and after reading someone pointing out on another thread that ESFPs are "notorious" for testing as something they're not...

I'm pretty sure my intuition knows an ENFJ just like I thought I did. And I'm pretty sure these few people whom I thought weren't ENFJ are actually ESFPs. (I was in a large group and we were all tested at once when I learned about MBTI.)

Anyway. ENFJs, continue on. I could listen to you guys explain your inner thoughts/nuances/driving forces forever until I understood.
 

Elwin_Ransom

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2007
Messages
71
MBTI Type
XNFJ
Anyway. ENFJs, continue on. I could listen to you guys explain your inner thoughts/nuances/driving forces forever until I understood.

Understand an ENFJ? I'm not so sure that's possible. It's hard to really understand anyone outside of one's type. Come to think of it, it's really hard (for me, anyway) to figure out myself and how I relate to my own type.

Alas, people are what motivate me. For better or worse, they tend to take the place of most important factor in decision making.

I find it hard to be cutthroat, even when I need to be. I tend to care too much, I think. I lead others through charisma and knowledge, not through brute force. I think that can be a weakness. I tend to be a respected leader as such, but not always the most recognized. I tend to be the glue that keeps other friendships together. I tend to be the quiet, knowledgeable leader that doesn't blatantly drive others, but I plant the thoughts that make changes (hopefully for the better).

Are those sufficient thoughts/nuances/driving forces? ;)

Of course, there is another driving force (two others, actually) that comes before all others. ;)
 

Usehername

On a mission
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May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
yeah, I think it just means that I'll be listening here in this thread forever if you guys keep talking;)

Thanks for any and all replies. They all help me map out the framework of the ENFJ and better understand their perspective. I like going deeper.

(For instance, I originally thought they ENFJ genuinely cared about every single person they smiled at, etc. Which I thought was impossible. But now I'm understanding the subtleties behind it.)
 

Elwin_Ransom

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Jun 5, 2007
Messages
71
MBTI Type
XNFJ
(For instance, I originally thought they ENFJ genuinely cared about every single person they smiled at, etc. Which I thought was impossible. But now I'm understanding the subtleties behind it.)

Ah! Now that is a very significant subject to me! The smile. The smile is one of the most subtly powerful gestures in human arsenal. ;) A smile can relay a lot of things, but, for me, more often than not, it's usually a way of silently saying, "Hey, I don't know you, but here's to hoping that you have a good day anyway." Do I truly, deeply care for everyone I smile to? Not necessarily, but that doesn't mean I can't wish them well in passing. Of course, that's not my favorite usage of smiling. My favorite is the form that says, "Hey, keep your chin up. You're awesome, and I'm here for you."

Yes. I like that smile. :D

Wait, this isn't the "dissect the various forms and applications of smiles" thread. ;)
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Really? I'd say that was us... the ENFJ's I know seem to always have a level of observable consistency in the way they present to different people, while I can find myself using different accents, totally different senses of humour and almost becoming a different person entirely depending who I'm with. I get the feeling that ENFJ chameleon-ing is more like just making different choices of what to say and how to say it best, but still people would know it was you if they heard a voice-distorted recording.
I've been accused of seeming like a different person when I'm with two groups of friends at a time. I tend to hang out with certain compartmentalized groups individually, and the way I act with each of them is totally different.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
I've been accused of seeming like a different person when I'm with two groups of friends at a time. I tend to hang out with certain compartmentalized groups individually, and the way I act with each of them is totally different.

Same here! And then when you get one person from one group and another from another group, coming together with you in the middle, do you find yourself really confused about how you're supposed to act, and worried they'll both think you're fake? LOL!
 

Usehername

On a mission
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May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
Okay.

When ENFJs find a socially awkward but endearing NT who obviously was drawn to the ENFJ, what do they think? What do they feel? What about when this NT is younger and they're trying to help them grow?

(I'm trying to figure out what one of my teachers thought of me way back in the day; I really liked her. I know she liked me but I want to know what she thought of me.)
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Okay.

When ENFJs find a socially awkward but endearing NT who obviously was drawn to the ENFJ, what do they think? What do they feel? What about when this NT is younger and they're trying to help them grow?

(I'm trying to figure out what one of my teachers thought of me way back in the day; I really liked her. I know she liked me but I want to know what she thought of me.)
I'm drawn to interesting people, and I think this is most likely true of all ENFJ's. I think we're drawn to people who most people brush off as "weird" because ENFJ's often feel weird themselves.

I'm part of the crowd, yeah. I'm friends with all the popular kids, but I don't connect with them the way they connect with eachother. I just can't. I don't know how to. I feel much more at ease when I'm around someone who I don't feel like I have to impress, someone who is odd, and will appreciate me for me.

Truth be told, I think much more highly of most NTJ's that I meet than SFP's.
 
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