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  1. #81
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I am going to jump back in for this one. The only things I am embarrassed to express are tears & anger. I don't cry in front of anyone ever if I can help it. I think people would be shocked to know that dominant Fe and all I hardly ever shed a tear. True anger for me is a source of embarrassment. It's because anger means I haven't rationally looked at a situation and am taking something personally. It means I have also run out of solutions for that moment. An angry outburst which happens very rarely is scary and it feels very immature. Generally instead of letting it out I "calmly" assess the situation and change it in my mind. Silence from me is a good indicator that I am attempting to regain control internally. Luckily people who know me tend to STFU during this process.
    Good lord get OUT OF MY HEAD!
    ditto.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  2. #82
    Member Theory's Avatar
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    ^Word.

  3. #83
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I've seen two ENFJs cry more than once in group settings. They were sorta legitimate circumstances... but not totally.

    But it sure didn't seem that they were embarrassed by their emotions.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #84
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I've seen two ENFJs cry more than once in group settings. They were sorta legitimate circumstances... but not totally.

    But it sure didn't seem that they were embarrassed by their emotions.
    Totally possible (what were the circumstances?) Sometimes I'll cry at movies or a good book. But anger and things situation Lookin4 presented. No crying here.

    I'm embarrassed when I cry at a movie or something but when it's ligit like that I'm only slightly embarassed. Was in a situation where the person I was talking to thought I was rolling my eyes and just being a *itch meanwhile I was trying to keep myself from crying because I was angry and upset and I knew I needed time to get it together. It would have been horrible to me for him to see me cry.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  5. #85
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Totally possible (what were the circumstances?) Sometimes I'll cry at movies or a good book. But anger and things situation Lookin4 presented. No crying here.

    I'm embarrassed when I cry at a movie or something but when it's ligit like that I'm only slightly embarassed. Was in a situation where the person I was talking to thought I was rolling my eyes and just being a *itch meanwhile I was trying to keep myself from crying because I was angry and upset and I knew I needed time to get it together. It would have been horrible to me for him to see me cry.
    1. the first was during group worship; he totally seemed comfortable with the fact that he had the most public intimate experience with God (but not in a bragging way, a seriously comfortable way)

    2. she was talking about anorexia one time, and the damages of smoking another time. and these were both things unrelated to her personal experience, and only how much she was hurting for others. in a big group. just cried... it wasn't inappropriate or anything, but certainly weird (for me).
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #86
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    I suppose it could possibly happen but the idea is foreign to me. I cried in front of people after my fathers 3rd heart attack but I couldn't help it that day and it was very, very embarrassing. As a general rule I don't trust/make myself vulnerable during an intense intimate moment (anything that would bring tears is in this category) with acquaintances/strangers. "Near tears" maybe but never the full-blown deal. I find emotional displays rather distasteful to be honest. My EJ keeps me pretty well in check. I would venture to say that my emotions are more in control then most people I know. I do not mind being supportive to people who are going through a rough time. The thing about me is that I cannot help but look for genuineness. If it is fake or attention-seeking by my judgment of your motivations chances are I will despise you. If the ENFJs you mentioned had a sincere emotional experience of some kind I wouldn't be embarrassed for them. I would probably be jealous as I cannot "let myself go" like that. Deep down sometimes I think I would like too.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  7. #87
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    I suppose it could possibly happen but the idea is foreign to me. I cried in front of people after my fathers 3rd heart attack but I couldn't help it that day and it was very, very embarrassing. As a general rule I don't trust/make myself vulnerable during an intense intimate moment (anything that would bring tears is in this category) with acquaintances/strangers. "Near tears" maybe but never the full-blown deal. I find emotional displays rather distasteful to be honest. My EJ keeps me pretty well in check. I would venture to say that my emotions are more in control then most people I know. I do not mind being supportive to people who are going through a rough time. The thing about me is that I cannot help but look for genuineness. If it is fake or attention-seeking by my judgment of your motivations chances are I will despise you. If the ENFJs you mentioned had a sincere emotional experience of some kind I wouldn't be embarrassed for them. I would probably be jealous as I cannot "let myself go" like that. Deep down sometimes I think I would like too.
    1. So, assuming they were sincere (which, I knew both people well and am confident they were) it's possible this is something ENFJs are comfortable with, and you are the exception to the rule? Any other ENFJs care to comment?

    2. I would agree that healthy ENFJs have some of the best regulated emotions around. I think they significantly school me, unless it's something I'm consciously working on (in which case I'll try to pwn, and if it doesn't work the reserve stoicism is always available to play as a backup). It's been my experience that these ENFJs contribute positively or not at all.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #88
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    It is certainly possible that I am an exception. I have only met one other ENFJ IRL so there is not much to compare to.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  9. #89
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    See, I'm trying to pick out ENFJs in my past history and figure out the motivations behind their behavior in the interest of interaction with future ENFJs. I think I possibly might want to date one (not a specific one, the type in general. And I'm not trying to be type-discriminatory, but have found a serious correlation between how ENFJs really spark my innards and set me free and excited and me being happy. So I'm wondering if I should try to figure out the ENFJ to the best of my abilities in case a new one comes along that I'm interested in.)

    ENFJ topic: how do you feel about music. Discuss.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  10. #90
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    1. So, assuming they were sincere (which, I knew both people well and am confident they were) it's possible this is something ENFJs are comfortable with, and you are the exception to the rule? Any other ENFJs care to comment?

    2. I would agree that healthy ENFJs have some of the best regulated emotions around. I think they significantly school me, unless it's something I'm consciously working on (in which case I'll try to pwn, and if it doesn't work the reserve stoicism is always available to play as a backup). It's been my experience that these ENFJs contribute positively or not at all.

    I'm not comfortable with it either. I'm sure they were sincere I only know one other ENFJ irl also so I can really only speak for myself. Like I said I'm more comfortable doing something like crying if something sincerely touches me in some way (not entirely comfortable) but I will and sorta laugh it off. However, when it comes to anger, I DO NOT I repeat DO NOT want it to take control of me to the point where I would cry. TOTALLY uncomfortable and embarrassing.

    As far as your friends and their experiences both of those times it seems as if they were touched and expressed it with tears. I prob wouldn't cry...you might be able to tell because my voice would change (not exactly choked up) but definately you could tell if I were touched by something said or by another person's experience.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

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